DEARG Ch 19

It is darkness. It feels like lying in cold darkness. I didn’t even realize my eyes were open and stayed like that for a while. Only after my vision adjusted to the darkness did the boundaries within it start to find their place.

Goo-woong, goo-woong, goo-woong.

The sound of a conveyor belt rides through the air. I touched the floor and lifted my upper body. My head feels heavy. I shook it a couple of times, but my wavering vision remained. After a clang, a mechanical voice announced, “Floor 48.” The mention of the 48th floor feels like it should spark something, but nothing comes to mind.

“Going down.”

The elevator doors begin to close. Jo Jihyun presses the open button and fully stands up. A cracked phone catches at his feet. He picks it up and, almost instinctively, steps into the elevator. Without pressing any buttons, the elevator starts descending on its own. The numbers on the display decrease rapidly. Jo Jihyun’s legs give out, and he collapses to the floor. His mind still can’t make sense of anything. Before he knows it, the elevator reaches the first-floor lobby.

“Are you alright?”

A security guard rushes over, noticing Jo Jihyun slumped in the elevator. Jo Jihyun looks up at him with a blank expression.

“Do you need help?”

Jo Jihyun grips the handrail and barely manages to stand.

“Should I take you to a hospital…?”

He doesn’t answer and gets up. The voices of people fade away. Jo Jihyun exits the lobby. Cool air brushes against his cheeks. He blinks. His vision clears. And gradually, memories of the past and present—no, the past and the present—begin to come into sharp focus.

He got on a bus to Seoul Station to meet him. And then, an accident happened on that bus, and when he opened his eyes… Jo Jihyun slaps his own cheek hard. Even with the stinging pain, he can’t believe this reality and slaps his face again, harder. A passerby glances at him with a look of disgust and steps aside.

This is reality. He’s back in the present. He’s returned, once again.

Why, just why?

To check how much time he lost in his memory lapse, Jo Jihyun pulls out his phone. The last call was exactly seven minutes ago. Just seven minutes. In that short time, he…

Jo Jihyun bites his lip and sinks to the ground. He left Kang Seokwon behind. He’ll never see him again. “Wait at Seoul Station.” The memory of their last call feels like it’s crushing his heart. Then, he suddenly recalls making a call here, too, before collapsing. He checks the call log again. It’s a number he didn’t save but remembers clearly.

Jo Jihyun stands and starts walking. He has to go to Kang Seokwon. Kang Seokwon is here, too. He needs to meet him. He needs to talk. He starts running. His breath catches in his throat. His legs give out, and he falls multiple times, but Jo Jihyun runs desperately. Kang Seokwon promised him. No matter what, he wouldn’t quit sports, wouldn’t resort to violence—he made that promise that day. So surely…

He arrives in front of the pizza shop. Kang Seokwon is nowhere to be seen. Jo Jihyun pulls out his phone and calls him. His trembling fingers fumble the keypad several times. The call connects. Jo Jihyun, breathing heavily, waits for Kang Seokwon’s voice. A click signals the connection.

“Hello? Sunbae-nim. It’s me… Jo Jihyun.”

There’s no response. Fearing the call didn’t go through, Jo Jihyun checks the screen. The call is still connected.

“Sunbae-nim, I need to tell you something.”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

A cold voice comes through. Has nothing changed? Is the man from before and the man now in the same situation?

“Sunbae-nim, let’s meet and talk. It’s really important. Please, just once…”

A loud honk blares. A driver yells at someone trying to jaywalk. Jo Jihyun realizes the sound came through the phone, too. He looks around. Kang Seokwon isn’t far. Then, he spots him standing across the street.

“Sun—”

As he starts to approach, their eyes meet. His blood runs cold. A chilling hatred pierces through him. He had begged him not to quit sports. No matter what, not to make choices that would ruin his future…

“I’m getting rid of this number now. This is the last time I’ll take your call. That’s why I answered.”

Kang Seokwon puts his phone in his pocket and turns away.

“Sunbae-nim!”

Jo Jihyun steps off the sidewalk. As he tries to cross the street, the gazes of passersby turn upward. Stars streak across the sky. And in that moment, the ground heaves as if alive. Something feels wrong. His consciousness plummets to the ground as if gravity has vanished.

“—!”

He jolts awake, shuddering. It feels like he was dragged from the mud just before suffocating. Jo Jihyun breathes heavily for a long time. He hears breathing. It takes a while to realize it’s his own.

“Jihyun-ah. Are you coming to? It’s Mom. Are you okay?”

A woman’s sharp, scream-like voice rings out. Jo Jihyun looks around. The white walls of a hospital come into view first.

“Patient, are you conscious?”

Jo Jihyun blinks and opens his mouth.

“…Where am I?”

“What?”

“What year is it? What month and day?”

His mother’s face turns pale. The nurse, slightly flustered, calls for a doctor.

“What’s wrong with you? Did you hit your head? Why is he acting like this?”

“Patient, are you fully aware? Do you know your name?”

“You were in a bus accident and brought to the hospital. The tests showed nothing wrong, so why are you like this!”

His mother yells hysterically, sobbing. At the mention of a bus accident, Jo Jihyun realizes he’s back in the past again.

Jo Jihyun gets out of bed.

“I have to go.”

He was supposed to meet at Seoul Station.

“Go where? You’re in no state to go anywhere.”

His father blocks his son’s path.

“I have to go. I promised to meet him. Sunbae-nim is waiting.”

The image of the man staring coldly at him from across the street flashes in his mind. In his confused mind, the two Kang Seokwons he knows become entangled. All he can think is that he has to meet him now. He wants to confirm it. The Kang Seokwon who still likes him.

“Sunbae-nim, I promised to meet him. I have to go.”

Jo Jihyun moves recklessly, knocking over an IV bottle, shattering glass on the floor. Even as he steps on the shards, his feet bleeding, he insists on leaving.

“Jihyun-ah, what’s wrong with you? Doctor! Call the doctor!”

His father grabs Jo Jihyun’s arms and legs. Jo Jihyun thrashes like someone drowning.

“Let go! I have to go! Sunbae-nim, we promised! I have to go!”

Screaming frantically, Jo Jihyun is restrained by nurses and a doctor who rush in and pin him to the bed. Even as they inject a sedative, he wails.

Sunbae-nim, sunbae-nim, I have to find sunbae-nim. We promised to meet. Sunbae-nim.

He repeats the same words until the sedative takes effect, and he loses consciousness. When he opens his eyes again, his mother is gone.

“Are you awake?”

As Jo Jihyun tries to sit up, he notices his arm connected to an IV. He sees it’s tied to the bed with straps.

“This is in case you get agitated again without realizing it. We’ll untie you as soon as you’re stable.”

“…What day is it today?”

“Monday morning.”

He’s been unconscious for two full days.

Has Kang Seokwon gone home? He needs to call him.

“Dad’s going home for a bit. They say you might need to stay a few days, so I need to grab some things. Your mom’s a wreck, too.”

“Go ahead.”

His calm reply seems to relieve his father, who says, “Jihyun-ah, I’m so glad you’re not hurt. Your mom and I were so shocked when we heard about the accident. I thought my heart would stop.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? But why were you on that bus at that hour? Your mom said it wasn’t heading to the library or home.”

The meticulousness of a woman who checked the bus route even in this situation gives him chills.

“I was going somewhere.”

His father nods, gauging his son’s mood. Jo Jihyun turns his head and asks, “Aren’t you going?”

“If anything happens, tell the nurse. I’ll come right back.”

“Okay.”

His father leaves the room. Perhaps because of his condition, Jo Jihyun is alone in a private room. Soon, a nurse comes in and unties the straps on his hands.

“Patient, are you feeling better now? We don’t usually tie people up, but your guardian insisted. It’s common to be agitated when you first wake up after an accident. Don’t worry too much.”

“I’m sorry.”

As Jo Jihyun apologizes quietly, the nurse clicks her tongue. He can easily imagine the scene his mother must have caused, demanding he be restrained, even without seeing it.

“If you need anything, press that bell. Usually, a guardian should stay with you…”

“I’m fine alone. Thank you.”

The nurse gives a few more instructions and leaves. Jo Jihyun checks the clock. It’s past 3 a.m. Not a time to call anyone. He presses his throbbing forehead. He starts organizing the jumbled thoughts in his mind. Grouping small questions under the bigger context, sorting them methodically. It’s how he organizes information when studying.

He’s gone back to that moment twice. Why, exactly… Then, a thought strikes him. The moments he lost his memory and went back. Both times, it happened when he resolved to confess a secret to Kang Seokwon.

Jo Jihyun swallows hard and squeezes his eyes shut.

In the end, he can never tell him anything. The second time lasted longer than the first. Next time, he might not return at all. He’d lose Kang Seokwon. He wants to call him now, but the image of the man glaring at him from across the street stops him.

At first, he couldn’t even think of wanting to go back. But the moment he recalls Kang Seokwon staring at him coldly, his heart breaks. It feels like he left Kang Seokwon behind forever across that street.

What should he do? How can he keep from losing him?

Jo Jihyun curls up, swallowing his sobs.

Early in the morning, his father returns with supplies for the hospital stay but leaves after only a few hours. His mother’s condition is poor, and he’s frantic. Jo Jihyun tells him to go. His father doesn’t hesitate and stands up immediately. It’s not bitter or disappointing. Knowing they’re like this, it almost feels refreshing now.

Despite the major accident, most passengers on the bus were unharmed, with only minor bruises and scrapes. Jo Jihyun was the same. But due to his initial state, the doctor recommended a few days of observation. Brain hemorrhages can show up late, they said. Hearing this, his mother asked if it would affect his studies. The doctor, flustered, said they could discuss it later, but she pressed, asking repeatedly about learning impairments. “It doesn’t seem like an issue for now,” the doctor replied, unable to meet Jo Jihyun’s eyes. Jo Jihyun watched the scene expressionlessly. Afterward, doctors and nurses gave him pitying looks. What’s normal for him is shocking to others, a fact he confirms again. It doesn’t matter. He needs to contact Kang Seokwon, but he doesn’t have a single coin. His mother took all the money from his clothes. When he asked his father for some allowance, he got an unexpectedly firm refusal. It’s probably his mother’s doing. Sensitive as she is, he’s quick to pick up on things. Much of his temperament comes from her. He considers asking at the desk but ends up sinking back onto the bed repeatedly. In the end, he can’t say anything to Kang Seokwon. He can’t shake the thought that he’s deceiving him.

Then, a knock sounds. Jo Jihyun turns, startled.

“Time for your injection.”

A nurse enters. Seeing the man behind her, Jo Jihyun freezes.

“He says he’s a school friend?”

The nurse points at Kang Seokwon. Jo Jihyun, dazed, nods and says, “Yes.” She inserts a syringe into the IV tube. The medication slowly enters his veins. Jo Jihyun stares at Kang Seokwon, unable to blink.

“All done. No discomfort, right?”

“No. I’m fine.”

He barely moves his lips to answer. As the nurse leaves, she glances at Kang Seokwon, says, “Your friend’s really tall,” and closes the door. Even after the door shuts, leaving them alone, Kang Seokwon stands still. He doesn’t speak or approach to hold his hand. He just stares for a long time. Jo Jihyun slowly realizes what he’s doing. Kang Seokwon’s gaze carefully, thoroughly scans him. Checking for injuries, ensuring he’s okay, lingering over every detail. Only after this endless inspection does the man exhale a held breath.

Kang Seokwon steps toward the bed.

“I was worried.”

The weight of that calm statement, laden with countless meanings, feels suffocating. How long, and with what feelings, did he wait at Seoul Station when Jo Jihyun didn’t show up?

“I was really worried.”

Jo Jihyun barely manages, “How…”

“I waited when you didn’t show up and called your house. I couldn’t go there myself. I spoke to your father. I said I was a classmate, so don’t worry. No one will suspect anything.”

The man’s heart, careful even about small details and unable to fully express his concern, is heartbreakingly kind. To avoid suspicion, Kang Seokwon came at a time a regular friend would visit. His face looks more haggard than usual. He probably hasn’t slept for two days.

Jo Jihyun lowers his head.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Kang Seokwon asks, his expression hardening. Jo Jihyun shakes his head and softly calls, “Sunbae-nim.” Kang Seokwon steps closer, saying, “Yeah.”

“Sunbae-nim, I… … ….”

The image of the man across the street overlays Kang Seokwon’s face. It’s not a different person. It’s the same person. And it’s Jo Jihyun who ultimately makes him that way.

“I… I’m going to ruin your life, sunbae-nim.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just listen.”

Jo Jihyun’s fingers tremble slightly. Clutching the sheets so tightly his nails turn white, he continues.

“I’m going to make you unhappy, sunbae-nim. I can’t tell you how or why it happens, but… it will definitely happen. Because of me, you’ll… … I’m sorry.”

Jo Jihyun looks up at Kang Seokwon with red eyes. Tears spill down his cheeks before they can even form. His face contorted, he says,

“A piece of trash, a crazy person like me, will ruin your life. So, please, never…”

Jo Jihyun swallows the surging emotions repeatedly.

The Kang Seokwon across the street lingers in his mind. That cold gaze, the anger, his loneliness…

He shouldn’t have left him there.

“What should I do?”

With the eyes of a lost child, Jo Jihyun asks.

“I… I don’t want to let you go, sunbae-nim.”

“…”

“I know I shouldn’t like you, but I want to keep liking you. What should I do?”

Jo Jihyun bursts into tears. Gripping too hard, blood backflows into the IV tube. Knowing it’s selfish, he can’t let go of Kang Seokwon. The Kang Seokwon who seems to stand forever across that street—he wants to run to him now and hold him.

“I like you too much, I keep liking you more, even more than before… Sunbae-nim, I’m sorry, I… I’m sorry for liking you. If it weren’t for me…”

He’s pulled into a fierce embrace. “Don’t cry,” Kang Seokwon whispers, holding him. “Jihyun-ah, I don’t know what to do when you cry.” Even his low voice doesn’t calm Jo Jihyun’s sobs.

“I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Sunbae-nim.”

“I’ll do whatever you tell me, without asking anything. Just please, do what you say, so…”

Kang Seokwon looks at Jo Jihyun. Fear glints in his deep eyes.

“Don’t let me go.”

“…”

“Don’t give up on me, Jihyun-ah.”

Not only does he endure this crazy talk without question, but he kneels at Jo Jihyun’s feet, vowing to do anything he asks. The depth of that emotion finally breaks the barrier.

“I love you.”

Jo Jihyun’s composed face crumples with tears.

“I’m saying I love you.”

At those words, Kang Seokwon exhales a sigh and embraces him. He doesn’t dare speak. He just holds Jo Jihyun, feeling every part of him with his hands.

“Jihyun-ah.”

Finally, Kang Seokwon calls his name. Jo Jihyun, stifling his sobs, nods.

“I’m sorry for being late.”

The man who said he’d meet him even a day earlier if he could go back confesses his whole heart. “I love you. Truly.” Kang Seokwon kisses Jo Jihyun’s forehead, cheeks, and w** eyes.

“I love you, I love you, Jihyun-ah. I love you.”

The countless confessions that day flood in like water. Feeling like he’s drowning, Jo Jihyun barely withstands Kang Seokwon’s words.

Kang Seokwon stays by the bed until late evening before leaving. His father still hasn’t returned. “I’ll come back,” Kang Seokwon says, but Jo Jihyun shakes his head. “What?” Kang Seokwon’s expression hardens. Is Jo Jihyun going to disappear or give up everything? Instinctively, he senses Jo Jihyun’s fear. Jo Jihyun promises, “I’ll never leave you alone, sunbae.” It’s sincere. Kang Seokwon nods. Long after he leaves, his father finally returns. “Your mom’s not doing well. She’s sick and keeps rambling. I don’t know what to do.” With a face aged a decade, his father sighs. In front of his injured son, he vents about his wife. “Go check on her.” As if waiting for permission, his father hurries up. The hospital night is quiet. Without the sedative, he wouldn’t have slept. A deathly silence weighs on him. He endures a few days like that and is discharged. Back home, his mother grabs him. “Jihyun-ah, is your head okay? Nothing’s wrong, right? It won’t affect your studies, will it?” It’s pitiful. He feels more pity than disgust now. “I’m fine,” he says, going to his room. She follows, persistently asking, “When can you go back to school? If you fall too far behind, it’ll be hard.” “I’ll go tomorrow. They said nothing’s wrong.” A smile spreads across her face. Still a beautiful woman, like a flower. “I’m tired. I’ll lie down.” Only then does she leave. Jo Jihyun lies in bed, organizing his thoughts. What to do next. His mind is complex, but the conclusion is clear. He won’t silently leave Kang Seokwon. That’s all. Nothing else matters. There must be a reason Kang Seokwon broke his promise never to quit sports. Something he prioritizes over it.

No matter what.

Jo Jihyun closes his eyes, resolute.

The next day, on the way to school, Jo Jihyun met Kang Seokwon. He was waiting for Jo Jihyun at the bus stop. He didn’t offer a greeting or even a nod. He simply confirmed Jo Jihyun’s presence with an expressionless face and boarded the bus. Kang Seokwon took a seat at the very back. Jo Jihyun deliberately sat right in front of him.

“Are you okay?”

A low voice came from behind. Jo Jihyun nodded slightly. A small sigh of relief followed. During the entire ride to school, Kang Seokwon said nothing. As if he was willing to bear all of Jo Jihyun’s anxieties, he quietly kept his feelings in check.

At the school entrance, Jo Jihyun gave Kang Seokwon a small nod. Kang Seokwon’s lips softened slightly. That was all. That small, seemingly insignificant gesture brought Jo Jihyun comfort.

Jo Jihyun entered the classroom and set down his bag. As he took out his books and opened his pencil case, he noticed a few subtle, irritating glances directed his way. He was used to being stared at by others. It was because of the appearance he inherited from his mother. In an all-boys school, a refined appearance wasn’t helpful at all. So, he usually ignored most stares. This time, too, he tried not to pay much attention and brushed it off.

“Hey, this.”

Jo Jihyun tapped the shoulder of the classmate sitting in front of him. He intended to ask about the class progress. But the guy jumped up in a panic.

Jo Jihyun blinked.

“Ugh, s**t.”

Seeing the guy curse harshly, Jo Jihyun assumed he was in a bad mood and let it go. Soon after, his desk partner, Hong Sun-il, sat down beside him.

Normally, Hong Sun-il would have at least said hello, but even after Jo Jihyun’s absence for a few days, he said nothing. That wasn’t all.

“How far did we get in class?”

Jo Jihyun asked, but Hong Sun-il didn’t even turn his head. He just mumbled, “I don’t know,” awkwardly. Jo Jihyun stared blankly at Hong Sun-il’s face, but as the homeroom teacher entered, he quickly turned forward.

The teacher conducted a brief morning roll call and left the classroom. The room immediately filled with lively chatter. As Jo Jihyun walked to the lockers at the back to prepare for the first period, he heard mocking voices. It wasn’t a coincidence.

“F**got.”

Jo Jihyun, about to grab a book, turned his head. The group, now giggling among themselves as if nothing had happened, prompted Jo Jihyun to lower his gaze.

He could have chalked it up to being overly sensitive due to feeling unwell. But the insults that followed were unmistakably aimed at him.

“Joji, are you really a h**o?”

“I thought it was just your looks. That’s fucking disgusting.”

Jo Jihyun closed the locker.

“Are you talking to me?”

Jo Jihyun asked in a cold voice. Caught off guard by his response, the guys who had been jeering averted their eyes in embarrassment.

Jo Jihyun returned to his seat. He opened his book, but not a single word registered. Some guys occasionally teased him cruelly, but this kind of blatant hostility was new.

Something had clearly happened while he was absent. Tapping his book lightly with a pen, Jo Jihyun sensed a stare and looked up. It was Choi Ki-yeol. Like someone caught doing something bad, he quickly looked away.

Jo Jihyun didn’t need to ask who started the rumors. He didn’t know what Choi Ki-yeol had been spreading, but his predictable pettiness was nauseating.

It didn’t matter. Jo Jihyun wasn’t the type to talk much with others anyway.

He turned back to his book.

Jo Jihyun opened his locker and sighed. First, it was a book. Then, his indoor shoes. Now, his locker. Pulling out the trash stuffed inside, he frowned slightly. His book was missing.

“Ugh, s**t, what’s that smell? Is there anywhere that doesn’t reek of h**o?”

“Is Joji called that because he likes d**ks? Why not change your name to D**k Jihyun?”

“Or how about P**sy Jihyun? I heard homos have s** like girls. So, you’ve got a p**sy too, right?”

Cruel laughter followed. Jo Jihyun didn’t flinch as he pulled out all the trash and emptied the locker. Then he walked toward the giggling group.

“Where is it?”

“What?”

“Where’s my book?”

“F**k, why are you asking me? You’ll give me your h**o disease. Don’t talk to me.”

“Give me back my book. That’s theft.”

“What?”

The guy’s face turned bright red. Jo Jihyun said, “Put it back before the next class,” and left the classroom. Whenever others teased or harassed Jo Jihyun, Choi Ki-yeol sat in the corner laughing, only to look away when their eyes met. Then and now, he wasn’t worth dealing with.

Jo Jihyun went to the bathroom and washed his hands at the sink. The stench of rot lingered from handling the trash. As he rubbed soap into a lather, a group of second-year students barged in. Some of their faces were familiar—guys who hung out with Choi Ki-yeol.

“Whoa, Joji. What’re you doing in the men’s bathroom? You’re not supposed to be here. Did you come to sneak a peek at guys pissing?”

Laughter erupted at the crude joke. Jo Jihyun rinsed his hands thoroughly and turned off the faucet.

“Where you going?”

One of the guys, a frequent companion of Choi Ki-yeol, blocked Jo Jihyun’s path.

“To class.”

“What’s the point of studying? You can just live spreading your legs for guys later.”

Jo Jihyun tried to step aside, but he was blocked again.

“Move.”

“F**k, you’re so rude for a h**o.”

Jo Jihyun gave a bitter smile.

“What, you laughing?”

The guy grabbed Jo Jihyun’s collar.

“Did Choi Ki-yeol tell you to do this?”

The question caught the guy off guard, his face showing confusion. It hit the mark. Speechless, his face flushed red and blue, he shoved Jo Jihyun to the floor.

“You think I’m some kind of dogshit?”

“I never said that.”

“Fucking b**t**d.”

The guy grabbed a bucket from the corner and dumped its contents over Jo Jihyun’s head. The water, which had been soaking a mop, reeked. Jo Jihyun stood up. Water dripped from his uniform. The guy likely expected him to cower, but Jo Jihyun didn’t flinch.

“Did your mom eat seaweed soup after giving birth to a filthy h**o like you?”

It was the kind of taunt that would cut most people deeply. Jo Jihyun stared at him expressionlessly. His w** eyes carried a strange intensity. Some of the surrounding guys instinctively swallowed hard.

“No.”

Jo Jihyun’s cool voice rang out.

“She doesn’t like seaweed soup, so she probably didn’t eat it. She usually doesn’t touch it.”

The guy’s face crumpled like paper at Jo Jihyun’s response.

“Got more questions?”

Jo Jihyun wrung out the water from his uniform. The guy’s lips twitched as he clenched his fist. He didn’t swing. That, too, was probably on Choi Ki-yeol’s orders.

“If not, move.”

The group hesitantly stepped aside.

Jo Jihyun had lived his whole life exposed to others’ malice. Harsh words didn’t faze him anymore. If he responded with indifference, they’d eventually tire and back off. These weren’t people he’d see forever anyway. Plus, thankfully, the rumors hadn’t revealed who he was involved with. Choi Ki-yeol knew better than to spread that part, as it would be too much for him to handle if it reached the wrong ears. It was very much like Choi Ki-yeol.

Luckily, there was a gym class that morning. Jo Jihyun could change into his gym clothes and send the w** uniform to a nearby laundromat. The problem was the smell. It was as if an old mop had been soaking in the water, and the stench rose with every move.

He wished he could shower somewhere.

Opening the classroom door, he saw no one inside. A note on the board read, “Next class in the music room.” Jo Jihyun changed into his gym clothes and stuffed the w** uniform into a plastic bag in his backpack. He decided to tell the teacher he wasn’t feeling well and leave early.

As he was about to leave, someone blocked his path. It was Choi Ki-yeol.

“Jo Jihyun.”

He called his name in an anxious voice.

“What.”

“Let’s talk.”

Jo Jihyun stared at him, as if to say, “Go ahead.”

“I heard about your accident from your mom and visited your hospital room. And I saw it—Kang Seokwon doing that to you.”

Kang Seokwon had come to the hospital, comforting a crying Jo Jihyun and staying by his anxious side. That was all. But to Choi Ki-yeol, it looked like “that.”

“I could tell the others the right story.”

Jo Jihyun burst into laughter at Choi Ki-yeol’s cowardice, not even naming it properly.

“Why’re you laughing? I said I’d tell them properly. So… don’t meet with Kang Seokwon anymore.”

“Are you done?”

Choi Ki-yeol grabbed Jo Jihyun’s shoulder.

“Why do you only act like this to me? What did I do so wrong that you treat me like s**t?”

Jo Jihyun stared straight at him.

“Then why do you act like this to me?”

“What?”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Choi Ki-yeol stammered, “It’s because…”

“What did I ever do to you?”

Before and now, Jo Jihyun disliked Choi Ki-yeol. He despised his petty, greedy nature, but what he couldn’t forgive was the insults Kang Seokwon had to endure because of him. “Beastly b**t**d.” “That’s why kids without parents have no manners.” Those insults should have been directed at Choi Ki-yeol. A human worse than a beast. Someone who, despite proper upbringing, couldn’t act human.

“I never did anything to you.”

Jo Jihyun drew a clear line, looking at Choi Ki-yeol. Even now, the chilling sensation of black insects crawling over him shook his mind, but he endured it desperately. For the man standing alone across the street.

“So far, neither of us has wronged the other. So, please, this time, don’t do it. Don’t sink to the bottom yourself.”

“Jihyun-ah. You’re right, you didn’t do anything wrong. So let’s talk.”

Choi Ki-yeol grabbed Jo Jihyun’s hand anxiously.

“I’ve got nothing to say.”

Choi Ki-yeol’s face flushed with shame as he gritted his teeth and cursed, “F**k.”

“I’m trying to talk, and you think you’re so great? You think I’m some idiot because I’m being nice? Today, I’ll really…”

Choi Ki-yeol’s threat didn’t finish. A large hand cut between them. Before Choi Ki-yeol could turn, Kang Seokwon grabbed his head and slammed it toward the hallway railing.

“Sunbae-nim…!”

Jo Jihyun shouted like a scream. By a hair’s breadth, Choi Ki-yeol’s face stopped short of the railing’s edge. He gasped, making sounds like a deflating balloon. He knew—if Kang Seokwon had applied just a bit more force, one of his eyes would have been ruined. Only someone with perfect control over their body could stop so precisely. Kang Seokwon released his grip. When their eyes met, Choi Ki-yeol clutched his head with both hands, trembling.

“What were you going to do with your hands?”

Kang Seokwon asked, not angrily but in his usual tone. Yet, the pressure was so overwhelming that Choi Ki-yeol couldn’t lift his head.

“What were you going to do?”

Kang Seokwon asked again. Jo Jihyun grabbed his hand. Kang Seokwon said, “Wait,” let go of Jo Jihyun’s hand, and pulled Choi Ki-yeol to his feet. Choi Ki-yeol shrank like a beaten dog before a predator.

“Answer.”

Kang Seokwon’s gaze fell on Choi Ki-yeol’s hands. Choi Ki-yeol instinctively knew his hands’ fate depended on his answer.

“…I won’t… do anything.”

Choi Ki-yeol stammered. Kang Seokwon said, “Good,” and let go. Choi Ki-yeol’s legs gave out, and he collapsed to the floor.

“I’m not breaking your neck right now because I promised I wouldn’t.”

The fierce beast calmly displayed its ferocity.

“Keep your promise, too.”

Kang Seokwon said, “Let’s go,” and grabbed Jo Jihyun’s wrist. As they descended the stairs, Jo Jihyun said he’d stop by the teacher’s office first.

“I’ll talk to them later.”

“Still…”

“Jo Jihyun.”

Kang Seokwon stopped on the stairs.

“Your hands are shaking.”

“…”

At Kang Seokwon’s words, Jo Jihyun looked down at his hands. They were trembling uncontrollably. He thought he’d endured it, but the trauma from Choi Ki-yeol was hard to shake. Jo Jihyun said, “I’m sorry,” and quickly hid his hands behind his back.

Kang Seokwon lowered his eyes, clenching his jaw. Feeling miserable for failing to do anything properly, he couldn’t even lift his head.

“Let’s go.”

He took Jo Jihyun’s bag for him. This time, Jo Jihyun followed silently.

Kang Seokwon carefully washed Jo Jihyun. Though Jo Jihyun protested several times, saying he’d do it himself, Kang Seokwon didn’t listen. It was rare for him to be so stubborn. Jo Jihyun eventually let him take over. With soap between them, Kang Seokwon’s hands brushed every part of his body. He lathered and scrubbed gently. Even between Jo Jihyun’s fingers, he cleaned meticulously. Kang Seokwon focused silently on washing him. His thick fingers passed over Jo Jihyun’s skin, and the water washed away the lingering heat.

“Turn around. I’ll wash your hair.”

Jo Jihyun turned and lowered his head toward Kang Seokwon.

“Close your eyes. The soap might get in.”

Jo Jihyun closed his eyes. Kang Seokwon’s fingers massaged his scalp and ran through his hair. His hands slid down to Jo Jihyun’s nape. Water from the showerhead cascaded down his back as Kang Seokwon checked if the soap was gone. He rinsed Jo Jihyun until all the suds disappeared.

Kang Seokwon wrapped him in a large towel and led him out of the bathroom. After draping a blanket over him, he turned on a fan.

Even while drying Jo Jihyun’s hair, he said nothing. No questions about the situation, no complaints about Choi Ki-yeol. He was keeping his promise to follow Jo Jihyun’s decisions without asking anything.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Kang Seokwon’s slightly sharp tone hinted he already had a rough idea of what happened.

“It’s just gossip. They’ll talk for a few days and stop. I’m fine.”

The hand drying his hair paused briefly.

“This kind of thing—it’s nothing.”

Compared to the time Kang Seokwon endured, it was nothing. Even now, closing his eyes brought back the image of Kang Seokwon standing across the street. The man who must have wandered mental hospitals looking for him for years.

“It’s not nothing.”

Kang Seokwon turned Jo Jihyun to face him. Jo Jihyun’s gaze was calm and steady.

“Choi Ki-yeol’s a coward. You saw it earlier.”

Jo Jihyun continued with a deliberate smile.

“He probably won’t do it again. It’s okay.”

Everything follows a larger pattern. The incidents varied in severity, but the bad blood between Choi Ki-yeol and Kang Seokwon ended today. In his notebook, most events were marked with a red X. Only his mother remained. The biggest hurdle.

“It’s okay, sunbae-nim.”

He offered Kang Seokwon the same comfort he’d received. Jo Jihyun had always thought Kang Seokwon was unshakable. Strong to the point of beauty, with an unwavering heart. But now, he saw the fears Kang Seokwon had overcome to protect that heart.

“I’m okay.”

He spoke firmly, as if reassuring himself.

Kang Seokwon took Jo Jihyun’s hand and kissed it. The solemn, sacred gesture left Jo Jihyun speechless. Kang Seokwon bared his devotion without hesitation.

“I…”

Kang Seokwon began.

“It has to be you.”

“…”

“Everything’s like that.”

How simple words could be so beautiful. Jo Jihyun hadn’t felt this reading famous poems in class, but he understood it through this man’s words.

Jo Jihyun lowered his head and said, “Me too.”

Kang Seokwon resumed drying his hair. The whirring of the fan’s motor echoed in his chest.

Jo Jihyun called out, “Sunbae-nim.”

“What?”

Kang Seokwon answered, lightly ruffling Jo Jihyun’s nearly dry hair between his fingers.

“…I want to kiss you.”

Kang Seokwon didn’t reply. He grabbed Jo Jihyun’s nape and kissed him. Jo Jihyun closed his eyes. The fan’s breeze tickled his face. He let the blanket slip off. Kang Seokwon sighed with his eyes and pulled it back up.

“You’re not in good shape today.”

Despite saying he was fine, it had been a tough day. Kang Seokwon laid Jo Jihyun down on the floor, still wrapped in the blanket, and lay beside him.

“Sleep a bit. I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

“You’re not going to practice?”

“After I take you home.”

Jo Jihyun smiled faintly and closed his eyes. The sound of the fan hummed at his feet. Kang Seokwon gently patted Jo Jihyun’s chest.

“Sunbae-nim.”