DEARG Ch 18

“What’s wrong? Did a mosquito bite you? Should I put some spit on it for you?”

Choi Kiyul pretended to put spit on his finger playfully. The insect digs into the flesh. Jo Jihyun desperately endured the terrible revulsion.

“Oh, you really did get bitten by a mosquito here.”

His hand reaches the area below Jo Jihyun’s nape. Jo Jihyun shot up from his seat. Beep, with that sound, the students get off the bus all at once. Jo Jihyun clutched his bag and got off the bus as if he were running away. He felt sick, as if he had motion sickness.

“Joji! Let’s go together!”

Choi Kiyul followed him off the bus. Jo Jihyun walked without looking back. He wanted to go anywhere and sit down. Right now, that was his only desperate thought.

“Hey, Jo—!”

Before Choi Kiyul could grab him, someone blocked Jo Jihyun’s path. He knows who it is.

“This.”

He holds something out. It is a vocabulary book, covered in people’s footprints and torn. Jo Jihyun said, “Thank you,” in a barely audible voice. The hand that took the vocabulary book trembled slightly. He broke out in a cold sweat. Kang Seokwon’s gaze lands on him. I have to lift my head and look at him. I have to tell him he doesn’t need to worry, thank him for his concern, and…

“Joji!”

He heard Choi Kiyul calling him from behind. Thump, before he could realize what was happening, an impact hit his head.

His vision goes black.

“Are you feeling a bit better?”

Hearing the school nurse’s voice, he tried to sit up, but Jo Jihyun swallowed a groan at the stabbing pain in his head.

“Do you know you collapsed on your way to school? You did that last time, too. Don’t you think you should go to the hospital?”

“I am fine. It is just simple anemia.”

“What do you mean, anemia, for a boy. It’s because you’re so thin. Make sure you eat your meals properly.”

The school nurse tutted, clicking her tongue, and scanned Jo Jihyun’s thin limbs. Jo Jihyun pressed his forehead with his hand and replied, “Yes.” The school nurse was generally an indifferent person. It was a professional defense mechanism. It was also a truly fortunate thing.

“Anyway, you’ve got yourself one good friend. The same kid who came with you last time brought you here.”

Sting, a pain spreads in his heart.

“Sunbae-nim?”

“A sunbae? No, a kid from your class. His name was Choi, what was it again.”

“…, did he come alone?”

“Yes. He carried you on his back all by himself and even brought your bag. Thank him later.”

His body grows cold. It was he himself who had asked him not to acknowledge him at school. Kang Seokwon does not know what Choi Kiyul might do in the future. That is why he let him carry him to the nurse’s office. It is the natural thing to do. This ache in my chest is all just my own selfishness.

“I have to go to a meeting for a bit, do you want to lie down a little longer before you go?”

Jo Jihyun nodded weakly. He then heard the sound of the nurse’s office door closing.

What do I say when I see Kang Seokwon. Every time the secrets he cannot tell him increase, it becomes so suffocating he can barely breathe. He buried his head in the pillow and closed his eyes. How much time had passed? A large hand touches his forehead. Even in his consciousness, which was drifting on the boundary of sleep, he instantly realizes who the owner of that hand is.

“Are you okay?”

Kang Seokwon asks, his brow furrowed. Jo Jihyun blinks his eyes and then smiles. His head had been aching because he did not know what to say when he met him, but the moment he saw his face, his mood loosened and relaxed.

“I went to the classroom during break time, but you weren’t there, so I came down to check.”

I didn’t tell them to call for you. He adds, as if making an excuse.

He felt sorry. Without even knowing the reason, he is swept around by his anxiety.

“What time is it?”

“Middle of second period.”

“Don’t you have to go to class?”

“I just stepped out for a moment. I have to go.”

Even though he knows he cannot stay by his side the whole time, he feels lonely without thinking.

“Should I not go.”

The man who read the emotion that flickered for a moment asks. He is always kind to the point of being cruel.

“No.”

Jo Jihyun shook his head.

“Take the day off from your part time job today.”

Kang Seokwon says, sweeping up his sweat-dampened hair. Jo Jihyun gave a faint smile.

“Jihyun-ah.”

His voice is filled with profound emotion. Jo Jihyun met his gaze and said, “Yes.”

“How long do I have to pretend I don’t know.”

“….”

“Do I have to just keep watching things like this happen?”

Jo Jihyun then feels ashamed of himself for feeling disappointed. He had not even considered the devastation Kang Seokwon must have felt. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. Kang Seokwon’s lips tighten.

“Don’t apologize, not to me.”

“….”

Kang Seokwon’s hand touches Jo Jihyun’s cheek. He gave him a light kiss. When Jo Jihyun’s eyes widened, he whispers, “No one’s here.”

“Still.”

Kang Seokwon rubs Jo Jihyun’s arm. It is the part where Choi Kiyul’s shoulder had touched. The cells that had been tangled up, standing on edge with sensitivity, gently subside.

“I’ll wait at the school bus stop when class is over. I’ll take you home.”

“I understand.”

“Sleep a little more. If you get thirsty, drink this.”

Kang Seokwon places a barley drink next to the bed.

“Thank you.”

Kang Seokwon’s hand covers his forehead again before pulling away. “I’m leaving.” Jo Jihyun gave a small nod. The nurse’s office door closes. He takes the drink he left and pulls it close. Blood circulates through his body and warmth seeps in.

Through his consciousness, which was sinking below the surface of sleep, he heard the bell signaling the end of class.

Chime, the convenience store’s doorbell rings lightly.

“Welcome.”

He greeted reflexively and then froze. Choi Kiyul, in his school uniform, enters with a slightly shy expression.

“Hi.”

He offered a greeting. Jo Jihyun barely managed to voice out and ask, “What brings you here?”

“What do you mean, what brings me here. I came to the convenience store to buy something.”

He replied bluntly as he walked to the display shelves. In the snack aisle, he kept glancing at Jo Jihyun, showing signs of nervousness. Then, he grabs whatever his hand touches and walks to the counter.

“That will be one thousand four hundred won.”

He took the money from Choi Kiyul and gave him the change, but he does not move an inch.

“What.”

“No, hey, when do you finish this? Let’s talk for a bit.”

“I finish…”

Choi Jeongsik, who worked the night shift, came inside, dragging his slippers with a scuff scuff.

“Oh, Jihyun-ah.”

“…You’re here.”

“I heard you weren’t feeling well. The manager called and told me to let you go a little early. So this hyung-nim here specially thought of you and came thirty minutes early.”

It was a kindness that was not welcome at all. Choi Kiyul says, “Then I’ll wait outside,” and leaves.

“A friend? Isn’t that the same school uniform?”

“He is not a friend.”

“Huh?”

Jo Jihyun checked the clock. It might be better to quickly finish talking and send him back before Kang Seokwon arrived.

“I will be right back.”

“Sure. Come back quickly. So we can count the register.”

When he came out of the convenience store, Choi Kiyul, who had been squatting in a corner, stood up, brushing off his clothes.

“What is it.”

“The first thing you say when you see someone, ah, d**n it. Forget it. I shouldn’t even bother.”

Choi Kiyul roughly rubbed his hair before opening his mouth.

“I heard from Junsung that you work part time here. He said he saw you when he came here last time.”

Jo Jihyun replied, “I see.” One of his classmates had stopped by to buy coffee and his eyes had widened, exclaiming “Joji?” in recognition. That was the end of it. There was no more talk after that, and they were not close enough to discuss such things at school.

“Since when did you start working?”

“Did you come here to ask that?”

“No, that’s not it, you collapsed last time. Aren’t you overworking yourself by working here? A guy who already eats like a fucking bird, what part time job.”

He hated the gaze that scanned his body up and down.

“I’ll handle it myself. Thanks for your concern.”

He replied without as much emotion as possible, yet with politeness.

“Why are you working here?”

Choi Kiyul asks.

“Because my family’s financial situation isn’t good.”

As Jo Jihyun nonchalantly revealed his shame, it was Choi Kiyul who could not hide his flustered reaction.

“Huh? R-Really? I’m sorry. For asking something like that.”

He scratched his head roughly.

“My mother, she doesn’t like hearing things like this through other people. She has a lot of pride.”

“Got it. I won’t tell anyone.”

Choi Kiyul says, his voice feigning seriousness.

“So this is a secret, right?”

He acts friendly, as if they were comrades sharing an important secret.

“Right. I’m going back in now. I have to count the register.”

“Want to go home together? We’re going in the same direction anyway….”

“No. I have to stop by somewhere.”

“At this hour?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. You little punk.”

Choi Kiyul grumbles and pats Jo Jihyun’s shoulder. “See you tomorrow.” His farewell sounds horrifying. Jo Jihyun replies, “Yeah,” and lowers his head. Even after Choi Kiyul left, he stood there for a long time, catching his breath. After the trembling in his body stopped, he went inside and counted the register with Choi Jeongsik.

“Go home early today. You don’t look well today either.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

Jo Jihyun picked up his bag and went outside. There were about ten minutes left until Kang Seokwon would arrive, but he felt it would be more comfortable to wait outside. Choi Jeongsik had already asked five times how the two of them knew each other after seeing Kang Seokwon come to buy water at the time Jo Jihyun’s shift ended.

Jo Jihyun let out a sigh. Just then, he heard a presence from within the alley. It was Kang Seokwon.

“Why are you over there? And not coming inside.”

Jo Jihyun walked over to his side.

“How are you feeling.”

“I am fine.”

“Tell me if it’s too hard. I’ll do it for you.”

“…, no, thank you.”

A smile brushes across Kang Seokwon’s eyes. After hearing that he had experience working the dawn part time shift at a convenience store, Jo Jihyun could no longer bring himself to laugh at this joke. Kang Seokwon was the type of person who would cut into his sleeping and training time and still do it.

“I have a match on Saturday.”

“Where?”

“Busan.”

“You are going far.”

“I’ll be back in the evening.”

They always spent the weekends together. Jo Jihyun nodded.

“If I arrive early, go inside my place and wait.”

He had copied a key and given it to Jo Jihyun. He had never used it, but Jo Jihyun carried it around like a talisman.

“Yes. I will.”

“Jo Jihyun.”

“Yes?”

“Who was that.”

A direct, short question is thrown. His blood runs cold. He can more than guess how long Kang Seokwon might have been waiting in the alley. Jo Jihyun tried his best to feign composure and fibbed, “A kid from my class.”

“Did something happen before?”

“Nothing happened.”

“But you’re like this?”

Kang Seokwon sensitively read Jo Jihyun’s anxiety and fear.

“…, you do not need to worry about it.”

Kang Seokwon’s reply does not come. He can easily guess that his mood has soured. He did not bother to hide the jealousy he felt.

“How can I not worry.”

He mutters, mixed with a sigh.

“I am sorry.”

Jo Jihyun bowed his head. Kang Seokwon grabbed Jo Jihyun’s chin with his hand and made him lift his head. It was a silent pressure telling him not to apologize.

“Sunbae-nim.”

“What.”

“Tomorrow, …do you want to go to school together?”

At Jo Jihyun’s words, Kang Seokwon’s expression momentarily freezes. Then he lets out a sigh and strokes his chin. “This is driving me crazy.” Hearing him mutter, Jo Jihyun looks up at him with concern, and Kang Seokwon says.

“I really can’t figure out what you’re thinking sometimes.”

“Are you upset?”

“No.”

It’s a problem because I’m too happy.

At Kang Seokwon’s words, Jo Jihyun’s face turns red. Thinking it was a relief that it was a street with no streetlights, Jo Jihyun started walking.

The bomb went off in an unexpected place.

“What do you mean by that?”

Jo Jihyun, who was eating breakfast, asked, still holding his spoon.

“Well, Sookhyun called and pleaded with me. She said you don’t even go to cram school and study alone, yet your grades are so good, so you must have a secret method.”

She continued to chatter in a pleasant voice.

“She kept begging me, asking if you could share that secret method with her son too. She said it’s a bit much to call it tutoring, but to think of it as helping each other while studying together. What kind of tutoring is it between kids in the same grade. Isn’t that funny? How envious she must be of you. She said several times that she’d give you a hefty allowance too, begging me.”

The woman burst out laughing. The situation where someone who feels inferior to her is bowing their head to her is pleasing.

“I do not want to.”

Jo Jihyun refused flatly.

“What? Why?”

His mother’s eyes grow cold.

He will try to r**e me later. He will kick me in the stomach and punch me in the face, and without any guilt, he will say it is all my fault. That is why sunbae-nim,

“…It will interfere with my studies.”

Jo Jihyun scooped up rice with his spoon. He put it in his mouth and swallowed without chewing. It felt like he was chewing on gritty sand.

“She said you only need to see him twice a week?”

It is phrased as a suggestion, but he knows his mother’s mood has soured.

“What if my grades drop because of that. I am going to be a high school senior soon.”

“Is that so?” his mother says, taking a step back. To her, her son’s grades were a plausible nameplate that would cover up her own misfortune.

“I am swamped with my own studies. I will be going now.”

He finished everything in his rice bowl and stood up from his seat.

When he arrived at school, Choi Kiyul glanced at Jo Jihyun with a somewhat triumphant look on his face.

“Choi Kiyul. Can we talk for a moment.”

When Jo Jihyun approached and said that, Choi Kiyul’s face lights up.

“Ooh, Choi Kiyul. Looks like Joji’s finally going to accept your feelings.”

“You were so hung up on him, is your love finally coming true?”

“You crazy b**t**ds. Stop with the fucking b**lshit. Do I look like a disgusting h**o to you.”

Choi Kiyul scoffs and turns his body. Jo Jihyun was already heading out of the classroom. Choi Kiyul hurriedly followed after him.

He went to the end of the stairs in the old building.

“What’s up?”

Choi Kiyul asks, in a tone that says, “Hurry up and praise me for what I did.”

“I got a call from your mother.”

Jo Jihyun continued calmly.

“First of all, I think I’m really grateful that you spoke of me like that. A mere student like me doesn’t even have the credentials to tutor.”

“It’s not like it’s tutoring. And what do you mean, you’re a mere student. When you get that kind of ranking in the whole country.”

That was a struggle to escape a hellish reality, nothing more, nothing less. He felt that it no longer mattered if he went to college. He just had to maintain these grades until the day he graduated high school and gained legal freedom of status.

“Don’t feel too burdened. Your stamina isn’t good, you can’t keep working at a place like that. And there was that time you collapsed, too.”

Choi Kiyul says, glancing at Jo Jihyun. An undisguised desire lingers in his gaze as it scans his nape, jawline, and lips.

“It’s fine.”

“What do you mean, it’s fine. What are you going to do if you collapse again. Making me worry.”

Looking at Choi Kiyul, who was acting like the kindest person in the world, Jo Jihyun swallowed a laugh inwardly.

“Thanks for worrying about me. But I’ll handle that on my own.”

Jo Jihyun lifted his head.

“It’s my problem, so I don’t plan on being a burden to anyone.”

“What? A burden? When did I ever…, s**t. Seriously.”

Choi Kiyul swallows a curse and shows his irritation. When the situation does not move according to his will, he quickly reveals his true nature.

“Hey, how can you talk like that when a person is going this far for you?”

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

When only an emotionless, computer program-like response returns, Choi Kiyul’s face flushes beet red.

“S**t, do you really not know how I feel?”

Choi Kiyul grabbed Jo Jihyun’s wrist. When Jo Jihyun flinched in surprise and took a step back, he roughly pulled his hand.

“I asked if you know how I feel. That’s why you’re so….”

“Jo Jihyun.”

At the low, firm voice calling his name, not only Jo Jihyun but even Choi Kiyul turned pale. Choi Kiyul quickly lets go of Jo Jihyun’s wrist.

“A teacher is calling for you.”

“…Yes.”

Jo Jihyun said to Choi Kiyul, “Let’s consider this conversation over,” and turned around. The man’s broad shoulders are visible. He says nothing. Without even asking where they were going, he walked behind him. After walking like that for a while, Kang Seokwon finally stops.

“How long, should I pretend not to know.”

“….”

“I’ll do as you wish, so tell me. How long do I have to stand by and watch like an idiot.”

“…, nothing happened.”

It was not a lie. Up until now, nothing has happened with Choi Kiyul.

“There was nothing, at all, for sunbae-nim to worry about.”

Kang Seokwon grabs Jo Jihyun’s wrist. Then he enters the art room, locks the door, and kisses him roughly. It was with a force as if to devour him. Jo Jihyun was surprised and tried to push him away, but the more he did, the more persistently he pushed in. As if he would lose everything if he let go right now.

The ground beneath his feet feels distant. Jo Jihyun closed his eyes, parted his lips, and accepted his kiss completely. Their lips finally parted with difficulty.

“Do you know?”

Kang Seokwon asks, letting out a ragged breath.

“What kind of expression you make, when you call me sunbae-nim.”

“….”

“When you, make that kind of face, how can you tell me not to worry.”

Kang Seokwon slowly swallows his breath. His shoulders slowly lower in the direction of suppressing his anger.

“Jihyun-ah.”

At Kang Seokwon’s call, Jo Jihyun was suddenly struck with fear.

Let’s never see each other again. A voice that should not be heard circles in his head.

“Do you, even trust me?”

Kang Seokwon looks at him. The eyes of a wounded beast.

I have to tell him. That I trust you more than anyone in this world, that to keep the promise not to leave me alone, you wandered the entire country for years searching for a version of me that did not even exist, you….

When no answer comes, Kang Seokwon laughs softly.

“The vice principal was looking for you. You should go.”

“…. Sunbae-nim.”

He always said such things before they parted. See you later, let’s meet up later, call me tonight. Things that might be vague greetings to other people were all real promises to him.

“I’ll go first.”

The art room door closed.

The vice principal said with a smile that the principal had decided to give an award to the student with outstanding grades next week. The vice principal talked for a long time, but almost nothing he said remained in his memory. He felt uneasy throughout the classes. He considered going to find Kang Seokwon’s classroom, but by the time he came to his senses, the class was over. When he went up to the third-year classrooms, Kang Seokwon was already gone.

Kang Seokwon was clearly reading his reluctance regarding Choi Kiyul. That it was not just a vague feeling, but an issue of distinct emotion. He did not have the confidence to give him a logical and rational explanation about Choi Kiyul.

To have those kinds of conversations, he would have to confess everything from the very beginning. Would Kang Seokwon even believe him? No, it would be a relief if he were just treated like a crazy person.

He is afraid that Kang Seokwon will get angry, asking if he started this terrible thing knowing everything, if he let him make such a choice knowing what would happen. He is scared that he might deny all their precious time, that he might curse himself for ever meeting him again.

Jo Jihyun swallowed a sigh. Even so, he cannot keep his mouth shut to Kang Seokwon forever. The image of Kang Seokwon’s hurt eyes comes to mind. Tomorrow, he has a match in Busan. He was worried it might bring about an unwanted result.

A public phone booth came into view. Jo Jihyun inserted a coin and dialed Kang Seokwon’s number. The signal tone rang a few times, but in the end, his voice was not heard. It was the time he would be at the gym. He always used to come in the middle of his workout to walk Jo Jihyun home and then go back to work out again.

Kang Seokwon always did his best. At the very least, he should give him the chance to choose.

After firming his resolve, Jo Jihyun got on the bus.

“Kang Seokwon. Why don’t you stop and go home? You have a match tomorrow.”

Kang Seokwon does not answer and throws a punch. The gym director holding the mitts staggers and steps back. Fear and joy cross the director’s face. As the blows increased, the director holding the mitts felt like he was being cornered. As a former athlete himself, he fully understood what kind of fear the athletes felt when they met Kang Seokwon in the ring.

After finishing the mitt training, the director handed Kang Seokwon some water.

“Is something bothering you?”

“No, sir.”

Kang Seokwon w** his lips with the water. He wiped his sweat with a towel and put his gloves back on.

“I told you to go easy. Are you going to use up all your stamina?”

Although he said that, a smile never left the director’s lips.

“Kang Seokwon. Someone came to see you.”

Lee Myunghak, a sunbae from the gym, shouted. Kang Seokwon slightly raises his eyes.

“Who.”

“I don’t know. He was wearing your school’s uniform.”

Kang Seokwon took off the gloves he had on his hands again.

“A hoobae? But why does a guy look like that. Fucking gets you hard….”

He could not finish his sentence and shut his mouth. Kang Seokwon’s fierce gaze flew towards him. Even though he knew it was impossible, he dared not open his mouth, feeling as if Kang Seokwon, a junior so far below him, might just twist his neck.

“I will be right back.”

Kang Seokwon left the gym just like that.

Jo Jihyun did not like coming to the gym. Knowing that he did not want to be noticed by other people, Kang Seokwon did not suggest meeting near the gym.

Spotting Jo Jihyun standing at the building entrance, Kang Seokwon approached him.

“You’re here?”

“Yes.”

Jo Jihyun turns his head. Through Jo Jihyun, Kang Seokwon learned how provocative the contrast of distinct colors could be.

“I called, but you didn’t answer.”

“Sorry. I was practicing.”

“It’s alright. You have a match tomorrow.”

Jo Jihyun hesitates and lowers his gaze. It is a habit he has before bringing up a difficult topic. Sweat trickled down the man’s forehead. Just looking at Jo Jihyun made him feel anxious. Suppressing the urge to pull him into a fierce hug, Kang Seokwon takes a step back. Sensing the movement, Jo Jihyun quickly lifts his head.

“I have something to tell you when you get back after the match.”

“Tell me now.”

“No. It will just make you worry, …the story is long, so I want to tell you slowly when you come back.”

Kang Seokwon replied, “Alright.”

“Do well tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t be like, …last time.”

Kang Seokwon lightly touched Jo Jihyun’s cheek with the back of his hand.

“Once was enough for that.”

Jo Jihyun smiles. A dizziness arises from the sweetness that darts by in a very brief moment. Kang Seokwon wordlessly looked at Jo Jihyun. Jo Jihyun, after checking his surroundings, brought his lips to Kang Seokwon’s hand. It was a contact so careful you could barely say it touched.

“I believe you. Everything you say, sunbae-nim.”

The wick inside his chest burned away completely. Kang Seokwon took Jo Jihyun and went up the stairs.

“Oh, sunbae-nim.”

Jo Jihyun called him, sounding flustered, but he did not stop. Going up to the third floor and entering an empty office, Kang Seokwon locked the door and pulled Jo Jihyun into an embrace.

“If someone comes….”

“No one’s coming.”

The man bent down and kissed him. The mucous membrane inside his mouth trembled lightly. Kang Seokwon pulled up the hem of Jo Jihyun’s shirt.

“Hold this.”

Kang Seokwon gives the shirt hem for Jo Jihyun to hold. Then, he set his teeth and carved a bite mark onto Jo Jihyun’s body. A red bruise quickly bloomed on the white skin. Seemingly quite pleased with the mark, Kang Seokwon kissed it over and over again.

“Sunbae-nim….”

Jo Jihyun called for Kang Seokwon, barely clutching the hem of his clothes. Kang Seokwon’s lips move as if sliding. Kang Seokwon takes the n**ple, which had pebbled from the cold, into his mouth in one go. Jo Jihyun let out irregular breaths and grabbed onto Kang Seokwon’s shoulders. Kang Seokwon’s tongue l**ks at the small bud with a slurp, slurp. The n**ple quickly swells up red. Every time Kang Seokwon pressed his lips and rubbed it, Jo Jihyun let out a thin m**n. A hint of heat flickered in Jo Jihyun’s cold and cool-looking eyes. There is no way Kang Seokwon would not know that. Kang Seokwon fumbles with Jo Jihyun’s uniform pants. Through the parted pants, his half-aroused member reveals itself. Kang Seokwon knelt down in front of Jo Jihyun.

“——!”

He swallows his lower half in one mouthful. The startled Jo Jihyun grabbed Kang Seokwon’s hair to pull him away. But far from backing down, Kang Seokwon began to s**k the flesh with even more force.

“Sunbae-nim, what, ….”

The large man was getting excited while on his knees, s**king his member. As Jo Jihyun, at a loss, tried to pull his hips back, the man gripped his b**tocks. It felt like his entire lower half was being swallowed. Kang Seokwon’s nose bridge moved in and out between his p**ic hair. Blood pooled tightly in his lower parts. It felt like his body below the waist was collapsing. Jo Jihyun barely endured it by putting strength into the tips of his toes.

“Sunbae-nim, don’t, please, …. Hah.”

A thin m**n got tangled messily with panting breaths. The man, completely captivated by greed, greedily s**ked the flesh. Jo Jihyun’s knees wobbled and buckled. The sensation below became so sensitively sharp that he could feel the texture of the tongue perfectly. The inside of the man’s mouth was surprisingly hot.

“Stop, ah, ——.”

With a trembling hand, he grabbed Kang Seokwon’s hair and pleaded. “Sunbae-nim, sunbae-nim,” he called for Kang Seokwon several times. But as if to show him, he swallowed Jo Jihyun’s member even deeper into his throat.

“——!”

Jo Jihyun’s slender waist convulsed. The man’s Adam’s apple moved slowly up and down. Jo Jihyun collapsed forward toward Kang Seokwon as if falling. Kang Seokwon supported Jo Jihyun with one hand, then pulled his mouth away from below. S**en that he had not managed to swallow trickled from the corner of Kang Seokwon’s mouth. He nonchalantly wiped it away with the back of his hand and slowly stood up. His arousal clearly showed its presence through his pants.

Kang Seokwon made Jo Jihyun place his hands on the wall and pulled his pants down to his ankles. He moved up close. Jo Jihyun was still panting with ragged breaths, trying to catch his breath.

“It’s okay. I won’t put it in.”

A low voice came closer. Kang Seokwon’s body touches his. His member began to rub against his thighs. “Squeeze your thighs,” he said, as if whispering in his ear. His head was hot, as if it would catch fire. His body trembled from the fear that someone might come, but he moved as he was told. He wanted to do anything for him. Kang Seokwon’s member moved in and out between his legs. As the stimulation continued on his member, which was already sensitive from having finished once, Jo Jihyun bit his lip. Kang Seokwon alternately bit and released Jo Jihyun’s nape and earlobe. As if to mark his territory, he repeatedly took Jo Jihyun’s body into his mouth and s**ked. Knowing that his obsession and anxiety were proportional, Jo Jihyun entrusted his body completely to Kang Seokwon.

“Jihyun-ah——.”

As if in response to the feverish call, Jo Jihyun squeezed his thighs. On the soft skin, the hard, blood-engorged member moved, rubbing with a squish, squish sound. His thighs were sore and stinging, but Jo Jihyun bit his lip and endured it. Kang Seokwon’s breathing gradually intensified. He gripped the back of Jo Jihyun’s hand. The trained muscles tensed up all at once. The smell of sweat was suddenly poured over him. A hot fluid was shot between his legs. It was an amount more than enough to drench Jo Jihyun’s member, thighs, and b**tocks. Every time Kang Seokwon thrust his hips, the s**en came down in thin streams. Jo Jihyun panted and looked down below. A few strands of milky white s**en connected to his ankles. It was the same for his thighs and knees. As if a male marking his territory, the man e**culated on Jo Jihyun’s body. Kang Seokwon took off the t-shirt he was wearing and wiped Jo Jihyun’s legs. Then, he turned Jo Jihyun’s head to make eye contact. The man, his face still dazed with heat, gave a light kiss on Jo Jihyun’s forehead and said.

“This is a big problem.”

Jo Jihyun asks, his lips parting, “Why?”

I think I’ll keep thinking about it.

Because his voice as he said that held a faint sigh, Jo Jihyun ended up bursting into laughter.

Just don’t lose the match.

Jo Jihyun said, leaning against Kang Seokwon’s shoulder. He could only hope that this flimsy happiness, which could end after Saturday, would last as long as possible.

“Sorry, I’ll get there as fast as I can.”

He was planning to come back right after the match in Busan ended, but he got held up by people from the association and was a little late, Kang Seokwon apologized repeatedly.

“Then what time will you arrive?”

He was on his way to Kang Seokwon’s house, but it did not matter anyway.

“I’ll probably get to Seoul Station around 8.”

“Should I go to Seoul Station?”

“Why would you, you’ll be tired.”

“Because I want to see you…, quickly.”

Even after saying it, heat rose in his face and he had to rub his cheeks with the back of his hand several times. Kang Seokwon was silent for a long time. Thinking the call might have been disconnected, Jo Jihyun held the receiver and called for Kang Seokwon, “Hello?”

“Wait at Seoul Station.”

At Kang Seokwon’s low voice, he felt the heat that had barely subsided rise again.

“Okay. I’ll call you again when I arrive.”

Jo Jihyun hung the receiver back on the public phone. He picked up the dropped coin and put it in his pocket. It was a generous thirty minutes to Seoul Station. He had almost an hour of floating time. It was an awkward amount of time to go back to the library. He thought it would be better to just go to Seoul Station and wait. He was waiting for the signal to cross the street to take the bus when a truck parked on the street corner caught his eye. Jo Jihyun hesitated for a moment, then walked up to the front of the truck.

“How much is this?”

“What? A bouquet? Or a basket?”

The man sitting perched on the truck asked.

“A bouquet.”

“Well, that depends on what you pick. It varies wildly depending on what kind of flowers you use and how many.”

He had never bought flowers before, so he had no idea. As Jo Jihyun was lost in thought, the flower truck owner asks, “Who’s it for?”

“Your lover?”

Jo Jihyun’s face turned red. Seeing that, the truck owner pointed to the roses.

“If it’s for your lover, people usually get roses the most.”

“Then I’ll have that, please.”

Fortunately, he had the money he received from his part-time job yesterday. Jo Jihyun stood in front of the truck and waited for the flowers to be wrapped.

“Your girlfriend is lucky. Getting a bouquet from a lover who’s prettier than flowers. Here, I gave you a generous amount, so give the gift well. Just give me fifteen thousand won.”

Jo Jihyun took the money out of his pocket and handed it over.

“First time gifting flowers?”

“Yes.”

“You look it. It takes more courage than you think to walk around with a bouquet. But once you actually give it, you’ll understand why people give flowers as gifts.”

The truck owner gave him a five thousand won bill as change. Jo Jihyun said, “Thank you,” and accepted the bouquet. While crossing the street holding the flowers, Jo Jihyun thought he understood what the truck owner had meant. People passing by would glance at him at least once. Feeling a little shy, Jo Jihyun lowered the bouquet and walked. He waited for the bus to Seoul Station and got on. He sat down and placed the bouquet on his lap. Rustle, rustle, the sound of the wrapping paper could be heard every time he moved. It was not cumbersome, but for some reason, he felt extremely tense.

He recalled the truck owner’s words that once you actually give them, you will understand why people give flowers as gifts. What kind of expression will Kang Seokwon make? He will probably look a little surprised, then the corners of his mouth will loosen and he will smile. Even with his eyes closed, he can picture his expression completely, without missing a single detail.

Jo Jihyun leaned his head against the window. He wanted to congratulate Kang Seokwon on his victory. It was something he had never done before, even in the past. And he plans to tell him everything. He cannot be sure if Kang Seokwon will believe him. He also does not know what choice he will make. He might hear the words, “Let’s never see each other again,” today, years ahead of time.

Still,

Jo Jihyun smoothed out the wrapping paper of the bouquet. He wants to have an honest heart towards Kang Seokwon. He wants to let him know that his feelings of affection for him were not a lie.

The bus crossed the bridge. Jo Jihyun turned his gaze to the window. A large moon comes into view. Suddenly, he remembers the moon he saw at that place, on that day. A strange sensation runs down his spine. Jo Jihyun blinked. His vision began to sway. An unknown anxiety surged up to the back of his throat. Something is wrong. At the thought that he had to run away from here, the moment he grabbed the handle and stood up from his seat,

BBAAANG——.

A pure white headlight beam rushed towards him. The pale moon looks down on him. It is an eye that looks into the abyss. Red flower petals bloom scattered on the floor. The sound disappears. He sinks down below consciousness, just like that.