MORE 39

“How’s the seasoning?”

My mouth was so full I couldn’t speak, so I gave a thumbs-up instead. After polishing off the sauce, I rolled up my sleeves to do the dishes, but I was pushed aside by the dishwasher. Since Woo Hyunse said he’d handle it, I fought hard to keep hold of the plates. It only needed a quick pre-rinse before putting them in the machine, so there was no way I couldn’t handle something that simple.

“I can do it, too.”

“If you say so.”

I accepted the challenge bravely, but it was a different model from the one used at the shop, so I struggled with it for a long time. Unable to watch, Woo Hyunse came over, pushed me away, and told me that sitting still was the best way to help.

I sat on a high chair, kicking my feet as if playing in a stream, waiting for the work to end. Once he finished cleaning up, Woo Hyunse took a drink out of the refrigerator. Seeing the familiar packaging, Siyul burst into a bright, sunny laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“When did you prepare this?”

“Since I didn’t know when Kwon Siyul would come.”

I didn’t expect to see this drink here. The wide, sunny smile didn’t leave Siyul’s face. On the table in front of the convenience store, in the car, and even at home—Woo Hyunse always carried the bait to lure Siyul in, anytime, anywhere.

“Did you treat other people this well, too?”

I wondered suddenly. Had Woo Hyunse always been this kind of person? Siyul still hadn’t forgotten their first meeting. Woo Hyunse was good at threats and good at fighting. He had even slapped my cheek. It wasn’t a hit hard enough to send me flying, but it was enough to terrify me.

Feeling a phantom ache in the cheek I was hit on back then, I rubbed it needlessly. Siyul still didn’t know which one was Woo Hyunse’s true self.

“Why?”

“Just, I was curious.”

“Well, I don’t remember.”

“Liar.”

“Do you remember in detail how you treated every person who passed through your life, Kwon Siyul?”

I’d have to have had people pass through my life to know that. Woo Hyunse was my first, but that wasn’t something I would ever reveal. In fact, he talked like that, but he didn’t seem to dwell too heavily on his past either.

“I don’t really remember much either. But I want to know. If you were always a kind person, CEO.”

“I’ve never heard that I’m kind. I haven’t cooked often, either. Usually, other people did it for me.”

He said it was rare for anyone to have eaten this kind of cooking. Heh, a laugh slipped out before I could stop it. I was pleased. At the same time, I felt a tiny bit jealous. Of those few who had eaten Woo Hyunse’s cooking. Of everyone who had looked at Woo Hyunse’s back as he stood in the kitchen and put the food he had prepared into their mouths.

“Next time, I’ll make something for you. I only know how to make ramen, though. Do you like ramen?”

“If Kwon Siyul makes it, I have to eat it.”

That meant he didn’t like it. Siyul slumped his head onto his arms like a drunkard. The corners of his mouth relaxed uncontrollably, grinning. If I were someone who possessed traits, wouldn’t I be wafting pheromones everywhere right now?

I heard it from Kwon Yuwon. He said that Alphas or Omegas, when they are very happy or very unhappy, leak pheromones regardless of their intent. He said that when emotions get strong, it’s hard to control.

How would Woo Hyunse be right now?

“…CEO, you have pheromones, right? How are they now? Yuwon says that if you have traits, you express your mood through pheromones.”

I gathered the courage to ask. Woo Hyunse, who had taken a sip of coffee, hummed and rested his chin on his hand.

“How do you think?”

“That’s why I asked, because I don’t know.”

“I’m not going to answer.”

“Wow… your personality is really bad, CEO.”

“You just realized that? You’re pretty slow on the uptake.”

I wanted to beg him to tell me. I wanted to smell that scent directly. Even if he didn’t say it in words, I wanted to know what kind of emotions Woo Hyunse was feeling. I was just about to open my mouth when, at that moment, an alarm sounded from afar, signaling the laundry was done. Because Woo Hyunse got up from his seat, Siyul clamped his parted lips shut.

Because he went off saying he’d go put them in the dryer, Siyul was left alone at the table. Siyul toyed with his cup, then stood up and turned his steps in the direction Woo Hyunse had gone. Even for just a moment, it was too large a house to be alone in.

Even after arriving in the neighborhood, Siyul stayed in the car for a long time. Woo Hyunse wouldn’t let him go, and Siyul didn’t want to part so quickly either. However, when Kwon Yuwon called around 2:00 AM, he couldn’t put it off any longer.

After bickering back and forth about who would leave first, they finally decided with rock-paper-scissors. The naked refusal—wondering if they really had to go this far, if he really had to do something so childish at his age—was written all over Woo Hyunse’s forehead, but Siyul didn’t care. It was much better than putting off going home time after time, spending the whole night in the car, and then getting nagged by Kwon Yuwon.

“I do all sorts of things since I met you, Kwon Siyul.”

“Hurry up.”

When I urged him, he begrudgingly held out his hand. The first round was a draw, and in the second, Woo Hyunse threw scissors and Siyul threw rock. As Siyul cheered, Woo Hyunse rested his cheek on his fist with his elbow hooked on the window frame. He had a very sulky face.

“Are you that happy?”

“Winning is a good thing. Go on, hurry. I’ll go in after I watch you leave.”

“I won’t lose next time.”

“Yes, yes.”

Siyul hopped out of the car. It was a bonus that he had been grabbed by the collar and rubbed until his lips were red before getting out.

After the car had completely disappeared, Siyul turned around. Even though they met at lunch and parted at dawn the next day, it didn’t feel like they had spent that long together. Siyul harbored an absurd suspicion: had the clock secretly spun three times faster for him than for other days?

Even though they had parted so soon, I want to see him again. After walking a few steps, Siyul looked back at the spot where Woo Hyunse’s car had been parked. It was empty, with only the streetlight illuminating the vacant space.

I sent Woo Hyunse away saying he had to go quickly, but here I am, still standing in this spot. The cheeks that had been warmed to a glow in the car were cooling down, but Siyul couldn’t easily take a step.

Just one night—I wanted to stay together.

“….”

Instead of feeling regret, Siyul lifted his arm, pulled his sleeve, and inhaled a long, deep breath. Because he had sprayed deodorizer, no pheromones would be left, but the faint scent of fabric softener that used to waft from Woo Hyunse’s clothes was wafting from my own clothes, too.

Siyul pulled both sleeves down to cover his hands and buried his face deep into them.

He grinned, his face hidden. Perhaps because fabric softener smells similar to flowers, even though it was the beginning of winter, he felt as if he were standing in the middle of a flower field in full bloom on a spring day.

■ ■ ■

The hand that had been wiping the table slowly slowed to a stop. Siyul sighed blankly, both palms pressed against the tabletop. The text he had seen this morning kept hovering before his eyes, making it impossible to focus on work.

I’m going on a trip for a while

It was a text sent by Kwon Yuwon. I called him immediately upon seeing it, but he didn’t pick up. Siyul rummaged through the closet first. Some of Kwon Yuwon’s clothes and items were gone. The backpack he had treasured so dearly was also missing. It was certain he had left of his own volition.

When are you coming back?

I sent, and a reply came before long. Even if he couldn’t take calls, fortunately, it seemed he could text.

In a month

Going away for so long. Siyul tapped on his phone with both hands until it felt like it would break. He had never been apart for such a long time, except for the army. They had applied to enlist together, but due to traits, the two were in different units.

Where are you going for so long?

I’m going to look around here and there before I get any older. And figure out where we can live.

You said the countryside was okay last time too.

It’s too expensive there, I don’t think we could ever buy a house even if we worked our whole lives.

The conversation they had while drinking at the convenience store flashed through his mind. The outburst where they slammed their fists on the table, asking when they would ever save up enough for the jeonse (deposit) prices that rose day after day.

When they first left the orphanage, they had said they would settle in this city no matter what, but in reality, with their income, buying their own place was out of the question, and even getting a jeonse was difficult. Kwon Yuwon wasn’t the type to be unaware of that fact.

Still, the fact that he left without saying a word to me was hurtful. Siyul complained via text, asking why he left without saying anything. Even the night before, Kwon Yuwon hadn’t shown any sign that he was going anywhere. They had eaten dinner and gone to bed as usual.

Was there perhaps something I missed? Siyul replayed the conversation the two had while lying side-by-side last night. Because he had been so physically exhausted, he had fallen asleep quickly, and the little bit of conversation they did have had been exchanged in a near-sleep state.

‘…I’m not.’

What was it that he was sorry about? I asked him first, wondering if he had accepted that offer to do delivery work he had mentioned before.

No

I’m just going to travel and then come back.

Even when I ask where he is, he only says he will let me know later. Even when I ask if he’s in debt or being chased by someone, he says it’s not like that.

Don’t worry

I don’t lie to you

I’m just frustrated.

I’ll be back in exactly one month.

Recently, Kwon Yuwon’s complexion hadn’t been good. He had often grumbled that work was hard. Sometimes he couldn’t even sleep. If I woke up because of him stirring next to me at dawn, I’d sometimes find Kwon Yuwon sitting leaning against the wall, quietly looking out the window.

If anything happens, make sure to contact me

This was the first time he had disappeared without a word, so I was anxious, but since he said he was frustrated, I had nothing more to say. It was also upsetting that I hadn’t realized what was going on inside him, despite having lived stuck to his side more closely than anyone else all this time.