TWENTY 8

He had naturally set his career path by following the person he liked, step-by-step achieving his goals while chasing a dream that had turned into true sincerity, but that was entirely separate from another goal.

Youngwon had resolved to work even harder instead of finding love early. It was a promise to himself, but it was also a promise whispered with multifold sincerity to the fans who loved him. It was a promise he intended to keep right up until the day he retired.

“The feeling changes even after just a year, so a whole ten years is literally throwing time away, you know?”

“…”

“If you take good care of yourself, your face will stay the same, but it can’t possibly be exactly identical. The charm of cuteness has to be enjoyed while you’re actually cute.”

“…”

“I hope Hyung feels that way too, but I want to possess that cuteness before it’s too late, as well.”

The phrase “before it’s too late” didn’t refer to the aging process catching up over time.

When you love someone, you inevitably look at them with the exact same gaze no matter how much time passes. Even so, he desperately wanted to possess Hyung’s cuteness, which would simply vanish if he couldn’t seize it right now.

It was true that he had waited to accommodate Hyung’s circumstances, so the cuteness of the past ten years could be dismissed as lost, even if it was regrettable. Well, what could he do? He hadn’t been able to have it. That was precisely why he wanted to grip it in his hands starting this year.

“Go find other cute things before it’s too late. There are so many things better than you think.”

“…”

“It’s too late for you, Youngwon.”

“I’m telling you it’s not too late! It’s just starting now.”

“…”

“I saw a video yesterday of Hyung acting all cute in front of the camera, too. He did even better than when he was younger, didn’t he?”

He had meant that Youngwon should look around since there would be plenty of cute, fresh things around him just like Youngwon himself, but it was an unexpected reply.

“Where on earth have you been looking at stuff like that?”

“Clumsiness is cute, of course. But honestly, watching people your own age do cute things is just meh when you’re the same age.”

“…”

“I started thinking Hyung was cute when I was ten and Hyung was twenty, so isn’t it only natural that my standards went up as I grew? I’ve experienced all of that, so how could I possibly look downward? It’s boring.”

He had already experienced the loveliness of youth for a long time, and it was finally time to transition to feeling a more mature kind of loveliness.

At a moment when he needed to feel a new kind of charm, returning to emotions that were already more than full of satisfaction naturally held zero interest for him.

Furthermore, with the loveliest person in the world right beside him, there was no way anyone else’s cuteness could catch his eye.

There was no reason to unnecessarily view the unique aura that came with age in a negative light. After all, he tended to hope that others would see him that way, too.

Besides, he didn’t even want people to think he was older than his age. He wanted to smoothly transition when the vibe changed, after pulling off roles that matched his image well.

He wanted his outward image to feel that way, but that didn’t mean he needed anyone to strictly decide which category he belonged in.

Jiseo’s arguments about age were just about his outward image, too. Deep down, Youngwon firmly believed that he and Jiseo were on equal footing.

He had fulfilled his physical age, while Jiseo had fulfilled his dream age. The promise to be together once they were all grown up had been tailored to their shared standard.

While Jiseo could win Youngwon over at any time by swallowing a little bit of pity, Youngwon, with his hands tied, had no choice but to endure the ten years it took to properly become an adult.

In that sense, the one who was overwhelmingly in a rush was Youngwon. Therefore, he inevitably had to adjust to Jiseo’s standards.

It was unfortunate that he could only give Jiseo ten years to chase his dreams, but getting married wouldn’t block Jiseo’s future path anyway.

“Even if we get married, I can understand Hyung being busy anytime. Once you go into a shoot, we practically live without seeing each other properly for months.”

“Why on earth would you try to marry someone like that?”

Youngwon let out an involuntary laugh at Jiseo’s immediate, counter-arguing remark. It seemed he had momentarily forgotten what Youngwon’s own profession was.

“I’m that kind of person too, so what of it?”

“…”

“It’d be the exact same even if I met an ordinary person, Hyung.”

“If people like us date, the three months we couldn’t see each other becomes six months. Is that good?”

“Yes! Because I’ll be able to understand it twice as well.”

It seemed Youngwon had his game face firmly on, as he batted back Jiseo’s words without conceding a single point. Then, at this juncture, he once again asked Jiseo in a serious tone.

“Is the reason Hyung won’t marry me because you don’t like me? I’m asking you properly one more time.”

“Because you’re young.”

“Then can we date? Or can we not even do that? Do you really only see me as a younger brother?”

At the whisper delivered as if he were dying of frustration, Jiseo let out a sigh mixed with a faint trace of a smile.

Lightly tapping the table, he reached out both hands and gently stroked Youngwon’s face. Then, he added in a soft but firm voice.

“I think we can when you’re around thirty.”

“…”

“Whether it’s dating or marriage.”

“Then let’s stamp the papers first. We can make the announcement later.”

“Even getting tangled up in any kind of relationship with Hyung is the problem. No.”

No matter how much he asked, Jiseo only put forward the sole excuse that Youngwon was young. Yet, faced with an assertive argument that couldn’t be ignored, Jiseo took a step back for a moment. Fine. Making a hundred concessions, he could stretch the boundary as far as dating.

“We can date. Though that will take a lot of time, too. But what you want is—”

“Getting married and dating.”

“We’re having a clash of opinions right from the start, aren’t we?”

“It’s not a clash. Hyung is just unilaterally breaking our promise.”

Failing to keep the promise with Youngwon was unmistakably Jiseo’s fault. It was also undeniably his fault that he hadn’t actively broken it off while assuming they could just brush it off as a childhood promise.

Of course, there were ways to apologize. Or he could just keep the promise. However, his protective affection for Youngwon flat-out refused to follow along, blocking his way.

Even so, he didn’t childishly say things like, “Why were you born later than me?” even as a joke. Even if he did, Youngwon would immediately fire back with the exact same logic, asking why he was born earlier than him.

“The reason I was born late is to give Hyung time.”

Though he didn’t know how he figured it out, Youngwon spoke the exact words Jiseo had been harboring solely in his own mind. It seemed it must have inadvertently shown in his gaze.

“Hyung is twenty and I’m twenty, too. But what if I ask you to get married right now? What would Hyung do? What if both of us had promised when we were equally young?”

“I’d have to do it. Because we made a promise.”

“If we had done that, I would truly become a cradle-robber, using an old promise to marry a twenty-year-old whose future is still wide open. Do you know how lucky you are that Hyung is older? Though I’m still a cradle-robber right now, of course, since I’m taking away a Hyung who is barely thirty.”

“…”

“Compared to that, right now I only have to feel a tiny pang of conscience.”

Hearing words imbued with genuine sincerity rather than just teasing, Jiseo ultimately had no choice but to shake his head and press a hand to his forehead.

Did Youngwon even know what he was saying? That he was blurting out exactly what he wanted to say, unfiltered.

“Are you telling me to be the cradle-robber?”

At the playful whisper, Youngwon furrowed his brow as if asking what on earth that meant. Seeing that, Jiseo let out another long sigh and shook his head.

He simply couldn’t bridge the gap in opinions between Youngwon and himself. Based purely on visible, objective facts, his own words were definitely correct, but Youngwon seemingly had no intention of accepting it.

His head understood it, but his heart didn’t. That was because the things Youngwon was reluctant to let slip away differed from the things Jiseo was reluctant to let go of.

“Everyone probably knows how much I like Hyung. I haven’t been asked about my ideal type very often, but I did say in interviews that I debuted as an actor because I was influenced by Hyung.”

“Everyone just thought it was because we’ve known each other since we were babies and were close?”

“They know I like you. I might not know if they think I like you because you’re an old marriage partner, but they know I like you with fan-like affection.”

“They only know it as fan-like affection.”

“The texture is the same. And the reason I couldn’t say it properly back then was because I didn’t have the qualifications.”

“Qualifications?”

As Youngwon spoke of liking him so blatantly, Jiseo found himself wondering what kind of qualifications he could possibly have lacked. Judging by his bold actions, it didn’t seem like he would ever hesitate to blurt out such words on his own.