SM Ch 1

I transferred subways once. It was ten o’clock when I arrived at the station where the hotel was located. There was still a whole hour left until the agreed-upon time.

So, I exited through the opposite side of the station and walked down the street lined with neon signs. I passed beneath the signboards of shops and cafes at a slow pace. Perhaps because it was Saturday night, many places were still open. In front of a basement entrance that looked like a club, college students were noisily blocking the street and standing in a long line.

Yellow light leaked out from a pub I passed by. On its glass door, large red lettering read, “Heating on, please make sure to close the door!” The large table by the window was oval-shaped, and the low-hanging lights were lampshade-shaped. Under the dim lights, people in comfortable attire were sitting so close together that their shoulders touched. They were flipping meat with tongs or clinking their glasses together. I watched their mouths moving soundlessly from beyond the glass from a distance, then turned my steps away. My fingertips, frozen by the cold wind, stung. The breath I exhaled gathered white in midair.

I entered the hotel lobby. The ceiling of the lobby, equipped with a chandelier, was high. The elevator was quiet, and no footsteps could be heard on the corridor covered with plush carpet. I checked the room number three times and took a step back. I brought my tightly clenched knuckles to the surface of the cold, hard wood.

The face that appeared through the gap in the door was a smiling one.

“It’s good to see you here again.”

The moment I saw him, as if breaking free from a trance, my arms and legs began to tremble uncontrollably. Even now, I wanted to turn around and run away, but he, still with a smile on his face, reached out his arm and grabbed my wrist. A force akin to a evil demon pulled me into the room.

∞ ∞ ∞

The potted plant on the desk was dying. In the autumn, it was about half the height of the monitor, but its height gradually shrank, and now its stem was tilting sideways at an angle. The once-plump leaves had shriveled thin, and a reddish tint, like frostbite, had formed at every pointed tip. Was it hard for it because it was winter, or was it too dry? Reaching out my hand, I pressed the soil; it was damp. Fine white roots were growing over the gravel.

From the adjacent desk, a half-sided phone conversation had been audible for a while now. Yeah, right, because it’s Sunday. Yeah, I’ll go during Lunar New Year, and this time just… Yeah, okay, call me later. Yeah, I won’t drink too much. You too… see you tomorrow.

The sound of a short kiss against the cell phone followed. It must have been a very personal call. Outside the window, it had long been dark, and quitting time had passed. The sound of a cell phone being set down with a click, and the sound of a bag zipper closing were heard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my senior co-worker pushing his chair in with a clatter.

I turned my body before his hand could drop onto my shoulder. Dropping his extended hand, the senior co-worker spoke with a deep furrow between his brows.

“Mr. Lee Seodan.”

“Assistant Manager.”

His eyes, which glanced past me, were wandering somewhere near the monitor behind my back. Waiting for his shut mouth to open, I gently touched the edge of the plant pot.

I thought I had taken good care of it. Should I have given it more water, or less? It would have been easier if plants could talk. If it could at least wag a tail or shake its head.

In the meantime, having finally made up his mind, the senior co-worker, adjusting his bag strap, looked at my chair and spoke.

“How about you come to the year-end party for now?”

“…No.”

“You know the department transfer was also due to the department head’s influence, right? Even if it’s the last time, why don’t you just endure a little and try to stay in his good graces? I’ll try talking to him once too…”

Before he could even finish speaking, I shook my head shortly. The expression of the man who was staring down at me gradually hardened. His uncomfortable and awkward demeanor was concealed, replaced by a smooth, expressionless face. It seemed he judged he had done as much as he could.

“Alright then. See you on Monday.”

“Have a good evening.”

I stood up and bowed my head in farewell. He was the senior co-worker who had been in charge of me since I finished my training and was assigned to the department. We ate meals together a few times, and I listened to minor complaints as we came and went. Quite a bit of personal talk was included as well. Family, cats, speaking ill of bosses. I knew he had a much younger brother, and I also knew his girlfriend particularly liked flowers.

Taking a step back, the senior co-worker said in a businesslike manner:

“Have a good weekend too, Mr. Lee Seodan… See you next year.”

And as he turned his back, he let out a laugh like air deflating.

“Yes.”

Only after the sound of his footsteps had completely faded away did I slump back down into the chair. The sound of the sensor lights turning on rang along the hallway. Like a screw turning, the fit of the words I had just heard slowly clicked into place. Today, Friday, was December 30th. Coming Monday was January 2nd.

I turned off the computer screen. There was nothing to pack, but I tidied up the top of the desk. I peeled off the colorful sticky notes stuck to the edge of the monitor and collected a few rolling pens. When it actually came down to packing, it didn’t seem like much would come out. A single pot, a few books, two mugs. A rabbit-shaped ornament with big eyes. That was all. I had worked at the same spot for almost a year, but looking at it now, it seemed packing would be over in a few minutes.

Opening the bottle cap, I poured the remaining few mouthfuls over the pot. I grabbed my bag and pushed the chair in. Just as I was about to take off the outerwear I had draped over and put it on, strength slipped smoothly out of my hands.

“…Ah.”

Leaving my bag dropped on the floor, I slowly walked up to the large window spanning across one wall of the office. Drizzling softly, snow that wouldn’t be able to accumulate was falling bit by bit. The windows of the company building across the street were stained black. On the first-floor cafe window, the unremoved Christmas decorations were colorful.

Behind my back, only the sound of the heating running resonated faintly in the office. On the road looking down, cars with their red taillights on were stopped at the traffic light. I quietly pressed my open palm against the cold glass. I took a deep breath and released it slowly.

I should turn around like this, put on my outerwear, pick up my bag, and leave the company. I should take the year-end subway, which would be crowded until late at night, and go home. Yet my feet simply wouldn’t budge. The process I repeated every day felt as distant as if it were my first time.

Mist settled cloudily on the window. I returned to my seat, pulled out the chair again, and sat down. I gave the mouse a light click toward the computer loading screen.

On the main portal site, snow was lightly falling over a snowman. Closing the window, I opened a folder. I pulled up the resignation letter I had left half-written. The cursor was blinking in the middle of a sentence.

I minimized the screen. Sitting with my chin rested on my hand, I slowly closed my eyes.

It was then. Ping! A small signal chime sounded. Opening my eyes, I checked the small pop-up window that appeared in the bottom right corner of the screen. It was a notification that a new post had been registered on the company intranet announcement board.

So there was still someone left at the company. Even when I looked behind me, the entire floor was dark and silent. It was about time the year-end party started. With my chin still rested on my hand, I clicked on the pop-up window that had begun to fade.

The message board opened in a new window. Mentoring system, year-end holidays… As I scanned the contents up from the bottom of the list of posts at the bottom of the screen, I stopped upon seeing the title placed at the very top in bold text.

[Job Posting] Recruitment Notice for First-Half Short-Term ITF

The view count was a clean 0. Even just looking at the title, I could tell it was a story completely unrelated to me, but I moved the mouse. I brought my face close to the bright screen.