OLP 8

I received the national flag that the coach handed me. It was only the preliminary round, but he was as happy as if we had already secured a medal. That’s how great our team’s performance was today. I could almost picture the caption that would be appearing on the news right now.

South Korea’s Men’s Short Track Relay Team Advances to Finals with a New Olympic Record… The Men’s Team Bounces Back with a Bright Smile After the 1,500-Meter Setback.

From now on, the screens of the three major broadcasting companies would show the team crossing the finish line in first place, instead of me tumbling unsightly. I was relieved to see that the eyes of the others I met were smiling. I did not make any mistakes today either. No, in fact, I did well. Surprisingly well.

I thought it was a bit of an overreaction to be doing a victory lap when it was just the preliminary round, but Seonho ran out first. I followed hesitantly. My butt, which had just finished the race, was tight. I twisted my waist, keenly aware of the heat rising. Every time I felt a stimulus between my legs, I reacted with twice, three times the intensity. As if someone’s lips were still there between my legs.

As I headed towards the audience with the national flag, another person’s hand overlapped with mine. A fresh scent came from the person who approached with a gust of wind. Startled, I pulled my hand away. The person who caught the falling flag held my stiff hand under his. Another person’s fingers dug into my pale fingers. Just like yesterday.

The person whispered.

“You have to smile.”

His whispering lips brushed past my ear as if by chance.

Our elbows, holding the single flag, were pressed tightly together. My lips quivered as I smiled at the audience. The warmth of the large hand covering mine showed no signs of cooling down, and our skin kept overlapping. Just like yesterday.

Seonho, oblivious, approached and draped the national flag over my head. ‘You did great!’ he shouted, grabbing my shoulders and putting me in front of the crowd. I naturally slipped away, pretending to be hugged by Seonho. I ignored the gaze I felt from behind. I wanted to take off my racing suit quickly. If I kept wearing these tight clothes and recalling yesterday’s events, I felt like something bad would happen.

‘That incident’ from yesterday was not a dream or a delusion. I did not have a habit of thrashing around in my sleep like that. My sleeping habits were so calm that my mom and dad would say, ‘He’s an angel when he’s asleep.’ I always slept with all my pajamas on, let alone taking off my clothes. The only time I had slept without clothes was when sunbae had suddenly returned to the room back in Jincheon, and that was just once. So, the crumpled sheets, the pillow that had flown off, and the underwear and pants thrown on the floor that I witnessed when I woke up this morning were clearly the traces of another person.

And no matter how much of an athlete I was… I did not have the skill to create such marks on the inside of my own thighs.

The problem was that sunbae, the one who had actually done such a thing, was completely unfazed.

Sunbae was not even awkward. The way he tapped my cheek as he came in, drying his hair with a towel, was the same as any other day, and his voice, as he said ‘You should wash up,’ was as languid as usual. When I stared at him in a daze, his voice was also casual as he joked, ‘Want me to wash you?’ Sunbae cleaned the room while I fled to the bathroom in surprise, and when my shower took too long, he even knocked on the bathroom door to rush me.

When I finally came out of the bathroom and faced sunbae, his expression was truly natural. Pale, cool, and a face that anyone would recognize as a skater’s. It was an expression that made it impossible to imagine that he had pinned down his junior and done such things… sucked him off… in a dorm where everyone else was. He had that same expression when we arrived at the rink, put on our racing suits, checked our skates, and warmed up. Only poor Seonho was restless, constantly pestering me with ‘What did hyung say yesterday?’, ‘Did you get scolded?’, ‘Hey, were you okay yesterday?’, ‘Lee Yeojun!’

I was so dumbfounded and bewildered that I even started to think that maybe the world we live in is a fantasy world, and just like a protagonist who lives in ignorance and suddenly gets caught up in an incident, I had met sunbae’s doppelgänger. Maybe the real sunbae was locked up somewhere in Jincheon, and a sinister monster had taken his place at the Olympics. And in order to maintain its transformed appearance, it had to periodically consume a man’s semen… otherwise, why would it do such a thing?

What was even more absurd was that ‘such a thing’ was effective.

In the relay, the push from behind during the baton touch provides a tremendous amount of momentum. It is no exaggeration to say that the ranking can change depending on how well the push is executed, to the point that athletes practice pushing well separately. In that relay, I would jump out in surprise every time someone’s hand even brushed against my butt. It was even more so because the hand that touched me from behind was sunbae’s.

Even with over ten skaters on the rink and in the midst of chaos, I could recognize sunbae’s hand. Because sunbae pushed right in the middle. Even though it was impossible, I felt like sunbae was going to put his finger between my legs like last night, and I had to shoot out like a popping popcorn kernel. According to the other skaters’ comments after the race, I was like a pheasant with its tail on fire. The head coach even said he regretted not putting me as the first skater, saying ‘If I had known Lee Yeojun’s start was that fast, I would have put him as number 1.’

‘I’ll get you a medal, no matter what it takes.’

To think that was what he meant.

I knew sunbae was obsessed with the gold medal… but I did not know he was a madman.

My steps were heavy as I left the drug testing room. I had already been tested after training, but right after the race, I was subjected to another unannounced test. It seems my performance today was strange to others as well. The AD card around my neck swayed listlessly. The area below, from which I had to squeeze out urine that was not even there, was sore. Why is everyone so intent on tormenting this part of me. I grumbled to myself as I dragged my feet.

The information robot at the plaza and the dancing tiger mascot, which would have normally caught my eye, did not register. As I was walking listlessly, someone put an arm around my shoulder. The smell of cologne. It was the Canadian retriever. Even though we had just competed in the same race a moment ago, I had completely forgotten about him. About his existence.

“Hi.”

Sunbae was right when he said it would be okay if something more worrying happened…

I did not want to, but I could not ignore him again, so I greeted him. The foreigner tilted his head, perhaps noticing the sullen look on my face. I wished he would just pass by, but he insisted on talking. The arm that was around my shoulder came down and now wrapped around my waist. Having become wary of everyone since yesterday, I was uncomfortable with such a friendly gesture.

“Don’t touch me.”

“You can talk? I thought you were mute because you always just look at Nam Jihoon whenever I try to talk to you.”

“…”

“Since you’ve opened your mouth, talk some more. Why were you so good today?”

Doping, perhaps? The retriever laughed. When he speaks, he only says things that are unpleasant. It was also unpleasant that he kept speaking to me in English without knowing whether I could speak English or not. I hate you. I was walking, ignoring him, when the retriever brought up sunbae. My ears perked up on their own.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen Jihoon care about someone else. Are you two brothers? You have different last names.”

“…”

“Are you two, like, a couple or something?”

“…No.”

“Really? Then I have a chance.”

That was pronounced so clearly that I could not pretend I did not hear it. I, have a, chance. I stopped.

At first, I thought he was after sunbae. But the retriever’s hand was still wrapped around my waist. Our bodies were so close that anyone who did not know us would think we were in some kind of relationship. When I looked at him, he smiled shamelessly. A smiling eye. His expression was suggestive. No, it was blatant.

“…”

Come to think of it, I think I once saw a video of him kissing a handsome reporter who was interviewing him. It has been a long time since a gay medalist came out, and it is not surprising for a gay athlete to participate in the Olympics, but surely you too…?

My mouth fell open like a cat that had smelled smelly feet. Startled, I pulled away from his arm. My face turned red. The retriever, who was watching me stammer, let out a deep sigh.

“Did I make a mistake? I thought you were on that side too.”

“Why… why?”

Even Seonho does not know I like sunbae! At my astonished question, the retriever held up his index finger. He spoke as if teaching a child.

“Because Yeojun, ah, is my pronunciation right?”

“It’s right, it’s right.”

Actually, it was wrong, but that did not matter.

“Yeojun, you look at Jihoon…”

“Lee Yeojun.”

A voice that cut in at that moment interrupted the conversation. A low voice that pronounced my name correctly, unlike the person in front of me. Sunbae, who had appeared out of nowhere, stood next to me. He was carrying the same bag as me and wearing the same white padded coat. A familiar scent emanated from him. In front of me was a person who wanted to pounce on me, and behind me was a person who had already pounced on me. Even if it’s the Olympics, there’s no need for every single minute to be this dynamic. The funny thing is that even in this situation, I felt a sense of relief when I saw sunbae. As I looked at sunbae with relief, the Canadian in front of me laughed. ‘Right, he looks at him just like that,’ he said.

Whether he laughed or not, sunbae only looked at me. His lips were pressed into a straight line. My wrist was immediately grabbed. He dragged me away without even glancing at the Canadian. The retriever did not try to stop us either. He just smiled and shouted. See you in the 1,000 meters! At those words, sunbae glared at me so fiercely that I did not even think of protesting.

The place sunbae dragged me to was the bathroom behind the operations area. Still holding my wrist, sunbae opened the doors, bang, bang, bang, to check if they were empty, and then click, he turned the doorknob of the entrance and locked it. The expression on his face as he turned around was terrifying. He pushed me down onto the sink and immediately started questioning me.

“What were you talking about?”

“Pardon?”

“What were you two talking about?”

Is that important? I was dumbfounded. Isn’t there something else we need to talk about? But sunbae was serious, as if this was the only thing we had to talk about, and I was bewildered. I did not know why he was asking such a thing, and I had even less of an idea why there was no explanation for his actions yesterday. A rebellious spirit I had never felt before welled up in me. I bit my lip and glared at him. By my standards, I was rebelling in a big way, but sunbae did not even flinch. Instead, he stared at me without even blinking, and I was intimidated.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

I retorted sharply. Perhaps it was an unexpected answer, because sunbae blinked. Looking at his long, narrow eyes, I told him clearly once more. I don’t want to.

“Why should I have to talk about that? I’m not going to.”

It was not a big deal, but I said that and kept it to myself. Sunbae twisted his lips.

“Didn’t I tell you?”

He murmured softly and took a step closer. His large hands rested on the sink.

“He’s gay.”

Sunbae’s thigh wedged between my legs. Just like yesterday. I scooted my butt back. My pants got soaked from the water on the not-yet-dry sink. Sunbae continued.

“He just hasn’t come out to the media, but everyone who needs to know knows. When he gets interested in a skater, he acts like that in races. He’s no different from an uneducated five-year-old who bullies the girl he likes. He did that to a sunbae who competed with me four years ago. This time, the target is you.”

He doesn’t treat the person he’s interested in well, he bullies them. Are you still interested? Sunbae sneered. He was making a ridiculous misunderstanding. I could not stand his gaze and turned my head away. Sunbae came closer as I moved back. I tried to avoid him, but our bodies kept touching.

“Why are you telling me that?”

“Don’t get close to him.”

“Are you worried I’ll neglect the competition if I get close to that skater?”

“What are you talking about?”

Sunbae frowned. I pushed his close shoulder with my hand. He did not move away, but instead grabbed my hand. I forcibly twisted it out and punched him in the chest. Why are you really doing this to me! I shouted, and he asked back, looking dumbfounded.

“What did I do?”

A fire of anger flared up, spreading like a wildfire in a dry forest.

“Don’t you remember? You sexually harassed me yesterday? To win a medal!”

“What? Hey, Lee Yeojun. Do you see me as a madman?”

“You are a madman! Forcing your junior to undress to win a medal! Making him spread his legs and… sucking him off!”

“Who said I do that to just anyone? I’m picky too!”

“That’s why you’re a pervert!”

“That’s not being a pervert… you really don’t know? How can you not know!”

“Know what!”

As my voice got louder, sunbae’s voice also got louder. Before we knew it, we were shouting at each other. Locking the door had been all for nothing. Our breathing became heavy and the air was thick with tension. At the climax of it all, sunbae shouted.

“That I’m interested in you!”

Thud, the sound stopped.

Only the sound of breathing echoed in the silent space. Haah, haah… Even though we were both athletes for whom such shouting would not even register, we were out of breath. My thoughts stopped at the words I had just heard. I gaped blankly. Haah… Sunbae, who had sighed and lowered and then raised his head, spoke with a space between us. He was glaring at me like someone who had been truly wronged.

“I’ve been thinking only of you since you said you were coming to Jincheon. I insisted to the head coach that I wanted to share a room with you instead of Song Seonho. You have no idea what kind of crap I pulled, chasing after the head coach before you came. I always kept you by my side and took care of you, and I told you all my know-how that I don’t tell anyone. Your training was more important than my training. Because I didn’t want to send you to the military. Because I wanted to be by your side next season and the season after that too. Who does that for someone they don’t even like? Touching your thigh in Jincheon? I did that on purpose. When I touched you then and saw you get hard, I thought there might be a chance, and when you started avoiding me, I thought maybe not. I’m at my wit’s end because of you several times a day. When I saw you leave the rink like that yesterday, I wanted to kill that bastard. I’m sorry for touching you without permission… but it’s too much to ask me to just keep enduring it while being by your side 24/7. I’m more nervous now than when I first went to the Olympics. Because of you.”

“…”

“So you really thought I did that for a medal? That’s ridiculous… Lee Yeojun, do you really see me as that kind of person?”

Sunbae, who approached me as if he were truly wronged, bit my jaw tightly. His ears were bright red. The fingers that held my hand were trembling. The tone of his voice was high. Like an adolescent boy whose voice was breaking.

“I was going to confess after winning a medal. After proving to the whole world that I’m the best… and that the best likes you.”

“…”

“Even a hummingbird offers food when it’s courting, so I have to offer something too. I wanted that to be a medal.”

‘I’ll get you a medal, no matter what it takes.’ To think that was what he meant. As I muttered ‘Pardon?’ in a daze, sunbae looked at me with resentful eyes.

“You always do that. ‘Pardon?’ with your eyes wide. Do you do it on purpose? To make me anxious.”

“That’s not it…”

“Come here.”

He pulled me into a hug with a sullen expression. Sunbae’s heart, pressed tightly against mine without a single gap, was beating as if it would collapse, and I knew that what he had just said was sincere. Our clasped hands were trembling. Sunbae, me.

“How can you not know that I like you. I showed it so much.”

“I didn’t know, really…”

“What is this, I confessed in a bathroom. With no style at all, just rambling on…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Accept me.”