LLU 9

I tossed the workbook I was looking at aside without a care and, as if it were my own house, familiarly retrieved the first-aid kit. This kind of thing repeated itself without fail just when I was about to forget, so the series of actions flowed as naturally as water.

Gritting my teeth, I applied medicine to the buttocks and the back of the thighs of Junwoo, who was lying prone on the floor. With every touch of my fingers, his firm muscles twitched and spasmed. After putting a large hydrocolloid bandage over the wound, I patted his leg.

“You got hurt on the front, too. Turn over.”

“…”

“What are you doing? I said turn over.”

“Ah, fuck…, …hold on a moment.”

Kim Junwoo suddenly spat out a curse. Then, instead of turning over, he gestured urgently with a flushed face.

“Hey, Pioon. Get lost for a bit. Go for a smoke or something.”

“What’s with you all of a sudden?”

“Hurry!”

He even threw the cushion in front of him, making a scene, so I clicked my tongue in disbelief but put on my padded jacket anyway. …I think I had a slight idea why he was acting like that, but I didn’t particularly want to know the full details. At times like these, my job was always to pretend I didn’t know.

“…Then I’ll be back.”

Leaving him without a response, I ambled out into the alley. That guy, really. With a troubled heart, I rubbed one side of my face. I hadn’t been thinking of having a cigarette, but I was suddenly craving one intensely.

…Once he goes to college and meets some girls, Kim Junwoo will probably get a bit better.

I thought that blankly in the cold that froze both my cheeks. It might be an overly naive thought. But for me, it was a rather desperate wish, if you could call it that. Because Kim Junwoo is one of the few sources of warmth I hold onto.

I smiled as I heard the bell signaling the end of the last period.

My steps were light as I packed my bag and came out. The answer sheet, which I had checked over and over, carried the effort I had poured in and my unwavering conviction.

I exited the classroom along with the other kids dressed in colorful padded jackets. A light flurry of snow was falling from the ashen sky.

As I crossed the schoolyard, my eyes searched for my mother. Lately, my mother had become busier than when she used to work, so she would only come home late at night.

However, she had said she would be with me on the day of the exam and would buy me something delicious. I spotted my mother standing in front of the school gate without much difficulty and quickened my pace.

“Oon-ah, my baby! You worked so, so hard. Did you do well?”

“Yes.”

It was a short answer, but my mother read the ease in my face and smiled brightly. We met up with Kim Junwoo in front of the restaurant where we had made reservations in advance, and the three of us ate ribs until our stomachs were about to burst.

After the meal, my mother, with a relieved expression, went out to enjoy a night date, and I went to a PC bang with Kim Junwoo. We played games for over a few hours, ate a late-night snack, and laughed and chatted. It was time spent with a peaceful mind for the first time in a very long while.

The short peace was welcome. Time was given infinitely, to the point that the busy period when I’d been getting nosebleeds felt like a dream. The kids hung out in groups and roamed the streets, and a few among them started part-time jobs or registered at the gym to save money for trips.

I also started a part-time job. It was at a small, privately-owned cafe near my house, where I would make drinks or brew coffee with the owner for a few hours in the evening.

The money I received for working a couple of times a week was barely enough for pocket money, but I didn’t want to exhaust myself in advance.

I had no intention of being satisfied with the scholarship I would receive upon admission. My goal was to receive a full scholarship for the entire semester. To achieve that, I was prepared for the fact that college life would not be the liberation I was finally given, but rather the beginning of a long, long marathon for me.

In my spare time, I mostly read books or watched movies. Kim Junwoo was very busy preparing for his practical exam, so it was harder to see him than before.

I didn’t dislike this time that flowed by quietly and a bit tediously. The day I would leave this slum neighborhood where I had grown up my entire life was not far off. Thinking that, even the scenery that I had found so tiresome didn’t feel so bad.

It was last night that my mother made a proposition that was like a decisive battle, in her clear voice.

‘Oon-ah, the Chairman said that since your college entrance exam is over, he’d like to have a meal together sometime. What do you think?’

I nodded without hesitation. Now that the child with Chairman Choi was growing smoothly inside my mother’s womb, Choi Junghan was no longer a being I could easily avoid just because I wanted to.

So I had to confront him proactively. I had to show him that my mother and I were not mere pieces on a game board held in his palm. To do that, I had to jump into that house. I had to face the owner of the shadow that had been darkly cast over me for several weeks once again.

But I am not afraid. If Choi Junghan brandishes violence again, I just have to fight back in a different way than before. He was currently under the illusion that he was the only one sitting at the game board. Without even knowing that the person sitting opposite him was also racking his brain fiercely to defeat his opponent.

“Oon-ah! Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

I, who had been staring intensely into the mirror one last time, walked out of the bathroom. My mother was wearing a bright and warm-looking maternity dress. It was an outfit that perfectly and beautifully revealed her rounded curve.

Just as my mother no longer had to wear borrowed suits and the like, the same was true for me. I no longer had to laboriously choose clothes from among my worn-out ones, or choose my school uniform to avoid that trouble. The clothes my mother had bought in heaps for me at the department store a few days ago were all expensive and luxurious, so it didn’t matter which one I picked to wear. The me in the mirror wearing them looked quite unfamiliar.

“Let’s go.”

My mother smiled with an excited face. I, who was putting on a coat over my clothes while nodding, paused for a moment and studied my mother’s face. Inappropriately for the season, a thin sheen of sweat was beaded on her forehead.

Why is she like that?

However, my mother’s expression quickly became placid. Rather, she seemed excited from start to finish about having a meal with Chairman Choi and me after a long time. In the shoe cabinet, there were several pairs of shoes I hadn’t seen before. My mother chose the most glamorous and pretty, yet low-heeled, shoes among them and put them on.

A sedan was waiting in the alley in front of our house. My mother smiled elegantly upon seeing the car and headed for the back seat. I, who had stepped forward and extended a hand, opened the door for my mother and then got into the car with her.

At that moment, my mother gasped for breath and clutched her stomach.

“What’s wrong?”

A loud voice came out of me without me realizing. The driver, also startled, widened his eyes and looked at our faces one by one in the rearview mirror.

“No, strangely… ah… my stomach hurts a little.”

“Why does your stomach hurt? Shouldn’t we go to the hospital first?”

However, my mother shook her head and took a few deep breaths for a short while. How many minutes had passed? Her frowning expression had eased up considerably before I knew it.

“No… it’s like this sometimes. It was like this last time, so I asked the doctor. He said it can hurt a little as the baby grows and the womb gets bigger.”

“…Is that so?”

“Yes. It’s okay, I’d go to the hospital if it kept hurting, but it just happens once in a while and then stops, you know? It’s fine. Mister driver, please just go. We’ll be late.”

“Yes, I understand.”

At my mother’s urging, the driver started the car without delay. Indeed, my mother, who had been gasping for breath and wiping away cold sweat, now looked much more comfortable.

I thought about once again suggesting we stop by the hospital first to my mother, who was peacefully looking at the scenery outside the window, but then decided against it. I figured she probably knew her own body best.

The mansion, which had felt quite far when we had to transfer buses several times, was a short drive by car. Perhaps because it was a Saturday evening, the roads were somewhat congested, but once we entered the quiet residential area, a calm and tranquil atmosphere welcomed us as if that had never been the case.

The bright glare of the headlights unhesitatingly cut through the alley, which was already dim as twilight had fallen. When we reached the front of the house, the huge iron gate opened automatically, and the car slid into the garage. After getting out of the car, we exchanged greetings with Chairman Choi, who had come out to meet us at just the right time.

“Ms. Jeongin, welcome! Student Oon, welcome to you too.”

“Hello. Thank you for inviting us again today.”

My deliberately polite voice easily planted a favorable impression on him. As proof, I saw Chairman Choi’s face show a momentary look of surprise before breaking into a wide smile.

“My, my, you seem even more personable after not seeing you for a while? Now, it must be cold, so please come in, come in.”

In the dining room, the long dining table was once again laden with enough food to fill it completely. Things I hadn’t seen when I was steeped in humiliation the first time I was invited here were visible now. Looking at the exact same scene inside the house as that time, my heart naturally grew cold and my head became clear.

Instead of sitting at the head of the table, Chairman Choi sat next to my mother. My mother smiled leisurely, steadfastly enduring—or perhaps even enjoying—the furtive glances of the numerous employees.

Watching them sit together as naturally as if they were already a married couple, I sat on the opposite side. And after I did, one seat was empty.

“Where is the Executive Director?”

I was just asking Chairman Choi with a slight smile.

“Looks like Oon was looking out for me, too.”

Unfortunately, the answer came not from Chairman Choi, but from the man himself. He, who was entering the dining room, was dressed in a suit similar to the last time.

He sat down next to me with a detestable smile. I had expected it from the moment my mother and Chairman Choi sat together, but now that it actually happened, it was a very unpleasant seating arrangement. Perhaps he had just come from work, as a faint winter smell lingered on him along with that usual heavy scent of cologne.

“Oh my, Mr. Junghan! Welcome. It’s nice to see you again like this.”

“Yes.”

He smiled, feigning a kind face. His gaze toward my mother was filled with amusement, but it was rude in its directness. My mother, perhaps embarrassed, bit her lip and lowered her gaze.

Watching Choi Junghan, I snorted inwardly. From now on, I will not be swayed by every single one of those gazes. I was about to say, “I will eat well,” and take a spoonful of rice, watching Chairman Choi pick up his chopsticks.

“You must have missed me.”

A chilling sensation descended upon my ear along with a very quiet voice. A thick amusement was laced in his voice. I frowned at the overwhelming scent of cologne.

Cut the crap, I wanted to retort like that if I had my way, but I just snorted once and let it go, avoiding the adults’ eyes.

Having seen each other and eaten together a few times, the atmosphere was much more natural and gentle than before. The scene of a harmonious four-person family was perfect beyond compare. That is probably how it would have looked to people who didn’t know the situation.

Unlike before, when my nerves were on high alert, I acted quite obediently. I answered Chairman Choi’s questions with a smile and clear words, and did the same for Choi Junghan.

In Choi Junghan’s eyes as he looked at me, a peculiar light of a different quality from before was swirling. He probably didn’t expect me to bow down and come in like this. His gaze, observing me quietly with shining eyes, was like that of a reptile, completely unwavering.

Chairman Choi asked a question with a smiling face.

“Did you and Junghan get back from the hospital okay?”

“Yes. Thankfully, the Executive Director came to pick me up.”

After finishing my sentence kindly, I intentionally bit my lip. I hesitated and lowered my gaze to my rice bowl, then counted. One, two, three. In that state, I added one more phrase.

“But…”

“…?”

“…Ah, it’s nothing.”

When I lifted my eyes, Chairman Choi’s quizzical gaze was fixed on my face, just as I had expected.

“What’s the matter? It’s okay. Feel free to say whatever is on your mind.”

“It’s not that… it’s just… I was a bit worried that I might have troubled the Executive Director that day.”

I haltingly brought out an intimidated voice. It had just the right amount of weight, not too pitiful and not too blunt. The carefully thrown bomb exploded with the right amount of firepower.

“What happened, Oon-ah?”

“What do you mean?”

The two of them asked one after another. The dinner table, which had fallen silent for a moment, immediately became noisy. My mother and Chairman Choi were both looking this way with wide eyes.

“It’s just… the Executive Director’s expression didn’t seem too good that day, and it was bothering me.”

“Huh?”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I feel like I worried you for no reason…”

I deliberately refrained from giving detailed story, trailed off my words, and then shut my mouth.