Vol 3 Ch 2

The faint consciousness that had drifted far away rose hazily to the surface. The first sensation I felt was…

…Suffocating.

Yes, it was suffocating. My body felt as heavy as if a boulder had been placed on my chest. I wondered if I was still in the middle of the construction site. It felt like the rebar that fell during the day had finally crashed onto my body, pressing down on my chest even now.

I had to open my eyes to confirm reality. My eyelids, heavy as lead, lifted with effort, and the moment I faced the darkness— Gasp!—I s**ked in a sharp breath.

In the pitch darkness, a beastly gleam of blue eyes shone. I was struck dumb with silent shock.

…CEO Jang, it’s him!

I twisted and writhed with every ounce of strength I could muster. Of course, to him, my movements were meaningless. He grabbed my wrists, which were trying to push him away, and pinned me firmly to the bed. His rock-solid thighs crushed my legs, ending all resistance in an instant. It looked as effortless as pressing an ant to death with a thumb.

A sharp scream burst from my mouth.

‘…Ahh!’

CEO Jang, with an expressionless face, raised his right hand. In his hand, he held a terrifying saw with jagged teeth. Without so much as a pause, he began speaking in a steady stream.

‘Human bones are tougher than you’d think, so even with a well-sharpened saw, you have to cut several times. That’s when my middle and ring fingers were severed together. The quack doctor stitched up the middle finger first and the ring finger next. It was so remote out there that they didn’t even have proper anesthesia, so I had to endure the stitching of my ring finger, almost fully conscious.’

A wave of dread washed over me. I shook my head and body like a madman. But no matter how much I resisted, I couldn’t escape, like a bird that spews feathers as it hits a power line. The most I could do was twitch pathetically, like a bird caught by the throat of a predator.

‘…Please, let me go!’

Save me! Somebody help me! Though I had no one to call out to, I screamed desperately. My pleas echoed emptily, with no one to hear them.

He gripped the saw tightly. The scars running across his middle and ring fingers stretched, rising an angry red.

‘…Those b**t**ds. I warned them so they wouldn’t dare even dream of running away.’

‘…Ugh, aaah!’

I was definitely screaming, but the space around me was eerily silent. That’s when I realized—no sound was coming from my mouth. A ball of terror was stuck in my throat, blocking everything from escaping.

The saw descended toward my hand with terrifying speed. I shook my head furiously, my body convulsing. I strained my throat, screaming for my life.

***

“…Ah, aaagh!”

I bolted upright in bed.

“…Huff, huff….”

Through my blurry vision, the rainbow-colored adjustment screen on the television came into view. Beep—. A sharp mechanical tone pierced my ears.

I curled up, burying my face in my palms. …It was just a dream.

Relief lasted only a moment. A strange dampness in my lower body gave me a sinking feeling. Hesitantly, I pulled back the blanket, and sure enough, my g**in was soaked. The quilt underneath was unnaturally damp as well.

My lower half was a mess, soaked through with a sticky liquid. The realization sent a chilling wave through my entire body. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sensation. It had happened, albeit rarely, when I was a teenager—on early mornings after seeing those magazines passed around by my peers for the first time.

…A f**king w** dream.

“…….”

I shoved the blanket and my clothes into the washing machine. The load was too heavy, the lid refusing to close, so I pressed down firmly with my palm, forcing it to shut.

Then I hurried to wash my body again. I grabbed the slippery, mushy bar of soap and scrubbed myself as if I were doing laundry. The thin skin under my hands reddened painfully.

I sat curled up in my room, staring blankly into space. The shame of soiling my pants as an adult and the lingering nightmare gnawed at me.

This useless reproductive organ swelled not only from sexual arousal but also under extreme anxiety and tension.

I thought I’d escaped him, but even now, he still haunted me in the depths of my unconscious. CEO Jang clung to my heels like a shadow.

I hugged my knees tightly, trapping myself in my own arms. My right fingertips were still trembling.

***

In the end, I couldn’t sleep again.

As dawn’s light filled the small house, I rose from where I’d been crouched like a ghost. If I wanted to make it to the assembly point on time, I had to get moving now.

I bit into a piece of bread as I opened the door to leave. That’s when I noticed the mailbox on the wall. It was overflowing with letters, the pile so massive that the mailbox seemed to be spitting them out.

The previous tenant still hadn’t updated their address, so letters kept arriving here. I paid my rent in cash directly to the landlord each month, so I didn’t even receive utility bills.

I’d been ignoring it out of laziness, but if I left it any longer, the whole pile would come crashing down. Sighing, I began pulling out the letters, checking the addressees one by one, and neatly stacking them on top of the mailbox. The pile of envelopes grew higher. Sure enough, all of them were addressed to the previous tenant.

“…Huh?”

That’s when I noticed a strange envelope. It was the kind you’d see anywhere, but there was no sender or recipient written on it.

I flipped it over, but there was nothing on the back either.

What is this? I couldn’t guess. The only thing I could tell without opening it was that it felt thick and surprisingly heavy in my hand. It made me uneasy, but I placed it at the top of the pile and dusted off my hands.

It’ll find its way to the right person eventually. Shrugging it off, I turned and stepped out through the door.

Another fifteen days passed like that.

Life remained monotonous, uneventful. Each dawn, I’d peel myself off a damp quilt, prepare to leave, spend the day working at the construction site, and return home after sunset to eat dinner. I’d then collapse on my blanket with the TV blaring in the background, falling asleep.

The only way I could mark the passage of time was by the state of my hair, which had grown unruly. It had been three months since I’d last gone to the barber. Now, my bangs nearly covered my eyes.

I clicked my tongue at my reflection in the mirror, brushing my hair back before shoving it under a cap.

Unlike the other workers who had actual skills, my job was usually to haul materials and do heavy lifting. Today, I expected more of the same, but the foreman unexpectedly handed me a wooden board and some sandpaper.

“Here, take it.”

I blinked in confusion, holding the items awkwardly. I glanced up at the foreman through the strands of hair stabbing at my eyes. His sharp voice cut through my hesitation.

“What are you waiting for? Get to work!”

There was no arguing with him. Resigned, I turned away and sat in a corner, placing the wood between my knees and scraping it with the sandpaper. Rough, unfinished edges crumbled into sawdust. My stomach turned, and just looking at it made my hands tingle.

Sanding was considered the crown jewel of the workshop, but I’d never been tasked to do it like this before. At most, I’d joined in during the finishing stages. Shhhk, shhhk. That grating sound sent chills crawling up my spine.

“…….”

It felt like my insides were being scraped raw along with the wood. A deep unease settled in my chest.

When the work finally ended, the foreman handed out envelopes to the workers.

“There’s no work tomorrow, so rest up until we resume.”

The workers tossed their sweat-soaked towels onto the ground, joking about drinking until they passed out on their rare day off. They left in groups, heading for the nearby bars.

The cold silence wrapped around me as I stood alone in the clearing. My gaze drifted downward. A scrap of sandpaper lay on the ground, leftover from my work. I glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then snatched it up and clenched it tightly in my fist, shoving my hand deep into my jacket pocket.

I turned and trudged toward home. I stopped by the supermarket across the street to grab a pack of cigarettes and something simple to eat. Then I headed toward the payphone next to it.

I picked up the receiver and mechanically dialed my uncle’s number. After calling every day for the past two weeks, my hands moved out of sheer habit. A familiar voice flowed into my ears.

 — The phone is turned off….

For the past few days, even his cell phone had been completely turned off. I walked slowly out of the telephone booth, framed in its dull sky-blue color.

Has there ever been such a long stretch of silence before?

The deeper I tried to think, the more my head hurt. At first, I forced myself not to dwell on it. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop my gaze from wandering toward the calendar stuck to the wall. My mouth would mutter that everything was fine, but my mind meticulously counted how many days my uncle had been absent.

And now a full month had passed. Sure, compared to the days when he’d only come home five or six times a year, this wasn’t much. But back then, he didn’t return home because there was nothing left to scrape from it. The house barely stood, held up by thin columns like chopsticks, supporting the slate roof. So, he roamed outside instead.

“…….”

I smoked anxiously, pacing in circles. …I need to pay the hospital bills. The due date for the fees was the end of each month. Tomorrow. Of course, it was possible to wire the money anonymously. But doing it that way would leave traces of having sent it from here.

I didn’t want to invite trouble for no reason. That’s why I had entrusted the matter to him.

I tossed the cigarette b**t to the ground and crushed it with my foot. Then I made up my mind. Just one more day. I’ll wait just one more day. No matter how worthless he was, someone you wouldn’t even bother tossing into a garbage dump, surely he wouldn’t abandon his own blood. There was still a chance he remembered the payment date and would answer the phone.

My legs trembled as I headed home.

After taking a shower, I filled a pot with water. I pre-peeled the plastic lid of the cup noodles, and once the water boiled, I poured the steaming hot liquid into the container.

The spicy scent hit my nose. I stirred the noodles inside the cup with wooden chopsticks. I’d only nibbled at lunch, and now my stomach felt like it was glued to my back. After days of stuffing my hunger with flour-based food, just the smell of it sickened me. I had no appetite. It didn’t even look like food to me anymore—just something lifeless, like rubber.

In the end, I put the lid back on before the water had even cooled. I shoved the table aside with my arms.

I lay down on the floor without even spreading out a blanket, curling my body tightly. Propping my arm under my head, I lay on my side, staring into space.

Whoosh, whoosh. A sound came from the old window, as the wind pounded against it. Other than that, there was no sound at all in this doghouse-sized room. The desolate silence wrapped around me like a blanket. Engulfed by that chilling quiet, my eyelids fluttered.

If I turned on the TV with the remote, I could chase away some of the silence. But somehow, it felt meaningless. The voices and faint signs of life from beyond that square screen seemed like illusions now.

This was the freedom I’d once so desperately wished for. Whoosh. The wind blew again. Then why couldn’t I go out and have a simple drink with others? My thoughts trailed here, and I let out a hollow laugh.

“…Ha.”

After doing what I’d done. After committing something so terrifying with my own hands. How laughable, that I dared wish for comfort.

The window rattled each time the wind hit it.

My blinks grew slower and slower. My eyelids closed as though someone had hung weights on them. Crushed under the floating chill in the air, I buried my face deeper into my arm. My fingertips twitched slightly, weakening.

It seemed I was about to fall asleep.

…Please, just let tonight pass quietly. With that final thought, I sank into a bottomless, unfathomably deep abyss—the depths of sleep.