Vol 3 Ch 13

Suddenly, I felt like my limbs were unbearably heavy. It was as if someone was stepping on my forehead with their foot and standing over me. At times, it even felt like they were running around playfully on top of my head. As a bonus, there was a headache, as if someone were gripping the back of my head tightly and then releasing it.
My consciousness returned, but my body wouldn’t move. I wondered if I was experiencing sleep paralysis. This often happened when I was physically drained. I endured the pain, biting down hard on my lower lip, and eventually managed to open my eyes.

“……”

It was dawn again.

A dawn so still that even if something curled up and hid in a dim corner, no one would notice. The thought sent a shiver down my spine. My senses were on high alert. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I scanned the room. In such moments, imagination only amplified fear. The coat hanging on the rack resembled a woman with disheveled hair, and the slightly ajar closet door looked like the entrance to a shadowy cave.

Being sleep-deprived was one thing, but these solitary dawns made me feel endlessly weak. The faint light of dawn still crouched below the horizon, hidden away. It meant I had to endure several more hours in this state before morning would arrive.

Suddenly, I noticed another breath in the room, apart from my own.

…Hoo, hoo. It was deeper and lower than mine. Instinctively curling up, I braced myself, only to realize it was CEO Jang.

Acknowledging that there was another breathing presence in the room made the silence feel slightly less terrifying. Gradually, my breathing calmed. I quietly took in CEO Jang’s profile from my view and then carefully turned my back to him, ensuring he wouldn’t notice.

“……”

I was suddenly gripped by fear—should I ask him to let me hold onto even just one of his arms? After all that had transpired between us, including him thrusting himself into me, it felt overwhelmingly difficult to ask for something as small as that.

In that moment, I couldn’t understand myself, finding reassurance in the mere presence of this man. Perhaps “couldn’t accept it” was a more fitting description.

I spent the rest of the dawn lying awake, avoiding him. Behind me, the man’s steady, rhythmic breathing continued to fill the same space.

When morning came, CEO Jang got ready and left the room. Through half-closed eyes, I caught a glimpse of his broad back as he exited and then buried my face deeper into the pillow.

I felt strange and empty. My discarded underwear and pants were probably still scattered carelessly around the dining table. The dinner I’d left half-prepared the previous evening would also still be there, its surface likely hardened like a sculpture by now.

…I need to clean it up soon.

But my body felt as limp as willow leaves. My entire body ached, from my waist to my knees, in an indescribable way. Most of it was due to absorbing the impact of his movements while lying prone on the marble floor.

Perhaps my body was demanding sleep now that it had run out of energy. Despite tossing and turning all dawn, I found myself dozing off after the sun had risen. It felt as though an invisible hand was brushing over my eyelids, lulling me to close them. Succumbing to that gentle touch, I intended to close my eyes for just a moment.

But I ended up slipping into a light sleep.

“……”

Noises came from the living room. The refrigerator door opened and closed, and occasionally, there were sounds of running water. The movements, discernible through sound alone, were efficient and unhurried. It was probably CEO Jang.

The man returned to the room. He entered the bathroom and soon came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Drops of water from his w** hair fell onto his shoulders, leaving damp spots.

I lay with my face buried in the pillow until I suddenly felt his gaze on me. Opening my eyes, I found myself locking eyes with him as he looked down at me. I quickly sat up, resting my back against the headboard.

CEO Jang buttoned his shirt as he glanced at me. His gaze landed on one side of my face, which was likely red and swollen from being pressed against the pillow. His eyes traveled from my neck to the buttons on my shirt, pausing briefly at each one, before settling on the blanket covering my lower body. I clutched the blanket tightly, terrified he might pull it away.

CEO Jang abruptly let out a faint chuckle.

“Does it hurt down there?”

“…Yes.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

Though his lips expressed sympathy, the man’s eyes, reflected in the mirror as he adjusted his tie, were undeniably smiling.

“I’ll be late today because I have a business meeting. After going to the hospital, stay home and behave.”

I nodded quietly, staring into space. Shortly after, he left the room. When I heard the soft thud of the front door closing, I emerged into the living room. I picked up my pants and started tidying up the table.

My pants and underwear were still where I’d left them, near the table legs. I quickly pulled them on to cover my exposed lower body, then reached for the dishes on the table.

That’s when something felt off, and I hesitated. The dishes, which should have been cold, still held some warmth. Their surfaces, which should have been hardened, glistened with moisture. Clearly, someone had prepared these anew.

For a moment, I tried to recall if anyone besides CEO Jang had entered the house. But no matter how hard I thought, there was no such memory.

This meant the man had prepared them.

I quietly set the dishes back on the table.

Without hesitation, I turned and returned to the room I had been staying in. A small lens embedded in the safe stared at me like an unblinking eye. I deliberately avoided it, positioning myself where my face couldn’t be seen by the lens.

***

Today, a different staff member drove me to the hospital. Worried about running into someone who might recognize me, I bought a hat from a nearby store and pulled it low over my eyes. I quietly entered the hospital room and sat in a chair by my mother’s side.

Beep, beep, beep. The sound of machines echoed through the private room. Compared to the crowded ward we used to stay in, this place was far better, with excellent facilities and medical staff. Yet, its overwhelming silence was the problem.

When I wasn’t there, my mom would have to endure lonely battles in this quiet space. I bit down on my lower lip, my mind filling with such thoughts, when there was a knock at the door. Startled, I flinched and curled up slightly.

A moment later, the door opened inward. A nurse in a crisp white uniform stepped inside. She glanced at me sitting by my mother’s bedside and gave a small nod of acknowledgment.

“Hello.”

Thankfully, she was just checking in. She seemed to think I was a relative and didn’t pay much attention to me. After noting the numbers displayed on the machines and recording them in her file, she nodded again before leaving the room.

Silence returned. I looked down at my mother again. The minute hand on my wristwatch had just started its climb toward the ‘9.’ It was almost time for me to leave.

I’ve returned to CEO Jang’s penthouse. I dumped the slightly cooled plates of untouched food directly into the trash. After washing the empty dishes and organizing them in the sink, I dried the remaining water from my hands.

Once again, silence enveloped the spacious house.

I needed something to kill time. After pondering for a moment, I suddenly remembered the bookshelf I’d seen in the man’s room and went there. Slowly, I scanned the books with my eyes. Most of them were about business and economics.

I picked a book with some familiar terms and returned to the room I had been staying in. At first, I had no idea what it was about, but as I kept reading, I found myself doing so out of habit.

A sudden thought struck me: I might suffocate from the silence. Holding the book, I headed to the living room.

I turned on the TV with the remote. Any program would do. I left it playing randomly, then started reading again with vacant eyes.
Placing the book briefly on my thigh, I leaned my cheek against the sofa. The sounds bursting from the screen gradually faded. The strength in my hand gripping the book cover slowly ebbed. I heard the soft thud of the book closing.

“……”

Beep. The sharp sound piercing my shallow slumber startled me awake. It was followed by three beeps from the keypad lock. Beep-beep-beep. The door opened with a sound. I quickly leaned my cheek back on the sofa and closed my eyes again.

I had no idea what I was thinking. I acted on impulse, instinctively pretending to sleep to avoid him. CEO Jang’s footsteps stopped abruptly in the living room. I felt his gaze on the side of my face. It seemed like he was standing there, looking down at me. As he remained still, the sensor lights in the hallway turned off.

Suddenly, I heard him approaching. Shortly after, the cushion beside me sank deeply. First came the scent of the wind clinging to his jacket, followed by a familiar mix of his unique smell and the pungent scent of alcohol.

The weight of the book on my thigh disappeared. I heard the soft rustle of pages turning nearby. It seemed like he was looking at the book I had been reading. Then, a sharp thud echoed. He had likely tossed the book onto the floor.

Beside me, I heard the faint sizzle of a lighter. He exhaled a puff of smoke. The acrid scent softly enveloped my face.

“……”

“……”

And then, silence.

Out of nowhere, I felt his hand touch my ankle. A chill ran down my spine, and I almost flinched. I clenched my teeth tighter to stay true to my act. His fingertips lingered around my ankle, slowly traveling up my calf and then to my thigh. His touch was featherlight yet left a sticky trace, like a snail’s trail.

The man smoking a cigarette while staring at my sleeping face—I wanted to dissect his mind. What could he possibly be thinking? If he were to just pull at my clothes, I could at least react. But his passive actions left me unsure of how to respond. An indescribable feeling cut through my chest.

“……”

“……”

As I struggled with my thoughts, his arm slipped beneath my back. A firm arm lifted me off the sofa, and another slipped under my knees, cradling me. My body floated in the air.

CEO Jang headed toward the room I was staying in but stopped mid-step. Then, he turned in the direction of his own room. I bit the inside of my cheek. His chest, pressed against my ribs, suddenly expanded deeply as he exhaled a heavy breath.

“…I wasn’t sure, but now I know.”

His deep voice brushed against my cheek. It wasn’t loud enough for someone else, yet it didn’t feel like a mutter meant for himself. I wondered if he had figured it out, my heart pounding nervously. Then, he muttered mockingly.

“If you’re pretending to sleep, you need to breathe. Unless you’re aiming to fake death instead.”

Startled, I momentarily forgot to breathe. Soon, he lowered me onto a soft bed. I slightly opened my eyes and faced the darkness. As time passed, my eyes adjusted. He pulled out a cigarette and wallet from his jacket, then tossed the jacket onto the side of the bed.

“You’re quite deceitful, Seo Yeowon.”

I stared into the air. The sensor lights near the dressing room turned on, casting deep shadows on his face. His tired expression met my gaze.

“Did you see your mother?”

“Yes.”

“Is she improving?”

Improving? For a moment, I was genuinely puzzled and almost asked why he was asking such a thing. Wouldn’t he typically just pull at my pants and satisfy himself?

When I didn’t respond, he raised an eyebrow in question. Then, he picked up the cigarette pack from the bed, pulling out a stick. As he reached for his lighter, I grabbed it first.

“What are you…?”

I rose from the bed and approached him. I stopped just short of touching him. Flicking the lighter’s wheel, I lit the end of the cigarette in his mouth. As he inhaled deeply, the orange ember flared, briefly illuminating the room.

He stared at me silently, then gripped my chin and tilted my face, s**king on my lips instead of the cigarette’s filter.

His fingers tangled in my hair, roughly combing through it. My breath hitched, muffled against his lips. In the only room of the house without CCTV, he beheld me.

The storm of passion subsided, leaving the room in heavy silence. The sticky atmosphere lingered. The odd scent drifted through the air.

I fell into a light sleep, only to wake shortly after, sweating and tossing my head. Even in those ten minutes of sleep, nightmares had haunted me.

“……”

I opened my eyes abruptly. My body shivered from the cold, the chill coursing through me. Fearing my trembling hands might seek warmth from him, I hugged myself tightly. The man, a light sleeper, groaned and shifted at even the slightest movement.

“…Mm.”

My gaze fell on the black leather wallet neatly placed on the nightstand. Staring at it blankly, I noticed him groping around in the mattress, as if searching for something. His hand eventually landed on me.

Frozen like a statue, I waited. He seemed to remain asleep, his breathing steadying once more. It appeared to be a reflexive action, like pulling a pillow closer in one’s sleep.

Watching his movements carefully, I turned back to the wallet. More precisely, I focused on the cold vial secured inside its buckle. Even this sharp man would fall into a deep sleep after using that small vial.

“……”

 “……”

Impulsively, I stretched my hand toward the nightstand. This time, with him pulling me back slightly, my fingertips barely brushed the wallet. Gritting my teeth, I extended my arm further, finally hooking the wallet with my fingers. I brought it toward me and carefully unclasped the buckle, retrieving the vial without a sound.

It was barely the length of my pinky, fitting snugly in my palm. I fiddled with it for a while before turning my gaze toward him. Beneath his prominent brow bone, his long, closed eyes remained still.

I cautiously peeled the blanket off and lowered my feet to the floor. Just as I lifted my hips from the mattress—

“…Ah!”

A hand suddenly shot out, grabbing my arm. Startled, I froze. His once-shut eyelids slowly lifted, revealing hazy eyes surveying the surroundings. Gradually, clarity returned to his gaze. His voice, hoarse and laden with suspicion, broke the silence.

“…Scurrying off like a rat, where to?”

“…To the bathroom.”

Though I gave a reason, his grip on my arm didn’t slacken. His wary eyes narrowed.

“Take it off.”

“…What?”

He repeated in a rough voice that carried the heat of dawn.

“Go n**ed.”

What escape was there from the penthouse, 50 floors high, for him to demand such a thing? Confronted with the cold command at my feet, I rose from the mattress and removed the shirt draped over me. The shirt slid down my body smoothly, landing on the floor with a soft rustle.

His eyes touched my bare body, not a single thread left on me. His gaze l**ked over every corner of my figure. A chill ran down my spine as if he might notice my trembling hands, and I clenched my fists even tighter.

Finally, I answered.

“…I’ll go.”

I turned and headed toward the bathroom. My bare feet softly slapped against the marble floor, the sound low and faint. I entered the bathroom attached to the room, turned on the sink, and let the water run. The stream of water roared as it gushed into the white porcelain basin.

After lowering the toilet lid, I sat down. Slowly, I opened my clenched fist and looked down at the small vial I had been holding onto. Tilting it slightly, white grains trickled softly to one side.

I couldn’t muster the courage to use it right away. Instead, I wrapped the vial in a towel after opening the cabinet and left the bathroom. Returning to the bed, I curled up on the edge of the mattress, in a precarious position, as if I might fall off.

Somehow, it felt like the kind of spot that suited me.