CRANK 36

Even when I tried not to think about it, thoughts kept creeping up. Thoughts I had never once had in my life. Thoughts that made me realize once again how narrow-minded I was.

The thought that the reason I had no sexual desire until now might be because the partner was wrong. That maybe, just maybe… I might be gay.

“…Fuck….”

I buried my face in my hands. How did it come to this? I shouldn’t have let Woo Dobin into my house in the first place. I shouldn’t have said I’d let him stay until the crank-up. No, I should have ignored whatever happened when I met him at the awards ceremony. I shouldn’t have given him my number from the start.

…If only Woo Dobin had been a little less handsome, if only the salmon sushi had been a little less delicious. Even if Lim Han hadn’t been booked for drunk driving, none of this would have happened.

As I was letting out a low groan while holding my head, something cold suddenly touched the nape of my neck.

“Ah!”

I jumped up from my seat, startled.

“Hoyoon-ssi.”

When I turned around at the familiar, gentle voice, Kang Leehyun was holding a canned coffee and smiling brightly.

“Hyung-nim?”

Kang Leehyun sat down beside me naturally. We were at the edge of the old corridor-style apartment complex where filming was underway. With my feelings half-confused and half-glad, I asked Kang Leehyun.

“Hyung-nim, did you have filming today?”

It was a question to which I already knew the answer. As far as I knew, the last scene Kang Leehyun appeared in was that park back then. That made sense, as he was playing the role of a homeless person who loses that fight and leaves the park forever.

Furthermore, today’s filming was a flashback scene, and only the family of Yeo Hajin, who had died long ago, appeared. This meant there was no reason for Kang Leehyun to be there.

“No. I don’t have any filming.”

Kang Leehyun took something out of the paper bag he was holding and handed it to me.

“What is this?”

“Your meal. You liked sushi, didn’t you?”

“…Huh?”

What Kang Leehyun handed to me was salmon sushi. No…. Is salmon sushi a trend around me lately?

“Salmon sushi was your favorite. I remembered that I couldn’t afford to buy it for you in the past, so I bought it.”

Kang Leehyun stared at me as if asking, Did I do something wrong? It was surprising that he even remembered my eating habits from several years ago.

“Th-thank you. But… why?”

“Huh?”

Something felt fishy. A guy who doesn’t even have filming today comes to the set to look after my meal? Kang Leehyun wasn’t my manager, nor was he a crazy guy like Woo Dobin. Sure, we had memories from being together for years, but aren’t we just slightly awkward former colleagues now?

“Well….”

Kang Leehyun scratched the nape of his neck.

“I was wondering if I could… land a small role or something.”

“…Huh?”

“It’s good to be noticed, right? I can help the staff out here and there, and then, well… you never know.”

“Ahhh….”

So Kang Leehyun was saying he was there to see if he could appear as a replacement or even just a passing extra if the opportunity arose. It wasn’t my fault that Kang Leehyun didn’t succeed as an actor, or conversely, that I did, but…. I couldn’t help but look away.

“Actually, it was awkward coming here just like that, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Uh, uh….”

“Can I… come by often from now on?”

“…Sure. Of course. You don’t have to buy me meals, just…. I just like having you around too, Hyung-nim.”

“Really?”

Kang Leehyun opened his mouth wide and laughed. He looked so happy that it was bewildering.

“I’m thankful you said that.”

“Don’t be thankful…. I’m the one who’s more thankful.”

I opened the lid of the sushi I had placed on my knees and smiled awkwardly.

“I’ll eat well.”

“Yeah, enjoy it.”

I snapped the chopsticks in half. Woo Dobin used to cut them so neatly, but the shape I made was pathetic. I picked up a piece of salmon sushi and put it in my mouth.

“How is it? Is it okay?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah, it’s delicious.”

Kang Leehyun was watching me eat from right in front of my face. It was an intense gaze, from an uncomfortably close distance.

“Th-then… Hyung-nim? Aren’t you going to eat?”

“I already ate before I came.”