CRANK 11

So, the reason you became a fan was just because of my face. Then, was everything just my misunderstanding? Was I mistaken because of the way your face would flush when you looked at me, or because of those intense gazes? The thought that you liked me was…

“So, you liking me means…”

“Yes?”

It was really fan adoration after all. You really were just… a male fan. As I realized that fact, my face brightened on its own. The discomfort I had felt because I had to be alone with Woo Dobin seemed to ease as well.

Right, I had a prejudice because he is an actor. There is no law saying an actor can’t be a fan. It’s the same as other fans. Come to think of it, didn’t the male fans I encountered at fan meetings or by chance on the street have similar reactions? Blushing, looking away.

“So that’s what it was.”

I felt sorry for having misunderstood Woo Dobin all this time. He was just a genuine fan!

The corners of my mouth curled up. Thinking about it again, it was a good thing. That Woo Dobin, the hottest star in all of Korea, is my fan. There was no reason to push him away.

In a way, I could think of it as my fan, who fostered his dreams while watching me, growing up well and rising to the same position. Is this the feeling of a mentor watching a student? — Even though I didn’t teach him anything — I patted Woo Dobin’s shoulder with a satisfied expression.

“I was the one who was misunderstanding things.”

“What misunderstanding?”

“I thought that because you said you liked me, and your face kept turning red, that ‘liking’ meant that kind of ‘liking’.”

“That kind of ‘liking’?”

“You know, the…”

I was too embarrassed to say out loud that I had such an absurd misunderstanding, so I just gave a sheepish laugh. Woo Dobin narrowed his eyes.

“It was an absurd misunderstanding.”

“What kind of ‘that kind’?”

“Huh?”

“Why does it not make sense?”

Woo Dobin poured out his words in a slightly aggressive tone. Why was he angry?

“The kind where you want to keep seeing them, they occupy your thoughts, they appear in your dreams, you want to hold their hand, want to kiss them, and want to have sex with them?”

“What?”

Ki, what? Sex, what? Since I had never even thought that far, I was struck dumb by the raw expression.

Woo Dobin grabbed my hand that was on his shoulder and brought it to his lips. With his gaze still fixed on me, Woo Dobin kissed the back of my hand intensely. Not understanding what kind of situation this was at all, I just stared with wide eyes.

“You saw it correctly.”

“…No, what?”

I didn’t even think to pull my hand away; I just asked back stupidly.

“It’s correct. Liking you like that.”

Something damp touched the back of my hand. Only then did I come to my senses and pull my hand away roughly— thwack. What the hell, what is all this nonsense?

Woo Dobin shrugged his shoulders and continued with a smooth tone. His face, which had been rigid, and his voice, which had sounded somehow angry, disappeared in an instant.

“I am a fan, and it is also true that I like you in that sense. I didn’t mean to tell you like this… but honestly, it was all obvious, right? That’s right. I like you, sunbae.”

I don’t know if the cameras were rolling again, but Woo Dobin spoke quite fluently. I wanted to believe it was a lie, I wanted to think that, but looking into Woo Dobin’s eyes as he stared at me, it was hard to rationalize it. No, I felt sorry for even trying to rationalize it.

Woo Dobin’s eyes were too straight. Even if he were good at acting, if this gaze was also acting… he should win a Best Actor award at Cannes.

“…I’m sorry.”

Woo Dobin spoke on behalf of me, who couldn’t say anything.

“I know you must feel uncomfortable. I have seen you many times, but you haven’t seen me. It must be sudden.”

“…”

“Let’s get to know each other gradually.”

“Hey.”

Isn’t it normal to say you give up at a time like this?

“We have to shoot the movie anyway. And we have to be stuck together during that time.”

Woo Dobin seemed to have decided to go for it completely shamelessly now.

“So, please get to know me a little.”

“Why should I have to do that?”

“…Do you really dislike me that much?”

Woo Dobin let his shoulders slump again. Is this bastard doing this pitiful act on purpose?

“It’s not about liking or disliking…”

“You don’t dislike me?”

“No…”

“If you get to know me a little, your heart will change.”

“Where on earth does that confidence come from?”

Woo Dobin crinkled his eyes into half-moons.

“I’m handsome, you know.”

I had nothing to say.

“I’m tall, too. And I have a lot of money. Obviously, you have a lot too, sunbae, but if you want, I can give you all of it.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. Should I give it to you?”

Woo Dobin’s eyes sparkled as if he were about to hand over his personal seal. My first impression was right. He was just a crazy guy.

“Forget it.”

“Right, you wouldn’t be swayed by money, would you?”

“You crazy bastard…”

“I’ve read every single one of your interviews, sunbae. About how you answer when asked about your ideal type.”

“What did I say?”

It was probably just some answer he made up on the spot.

“Four times, ‘an honest person’; twice, ‘someone who looks good in comfortable clothes’; twice, ‘someone who can understand everything about me’; once, ‘someone who will drink with me’; once, ‘someone who is good at cooking’; and once, ‘someone with whom I can communicate well’.”

Woo Dobin rattled off the list without even taking a breath, as if he had memorized it in advance. My jaw dropped.

“Since I confessed on the second meeting, I’m honest, and this outfit today is very comfortable. Understanding everything is a given. Besides, we are in the same profession.”

Woo Dobin cast a sidelong glance at the kitchen.

“I bought the sake you like, and if you want, we can drink it right now, and you saw the cooking earlier.”

So, was everything he did today a calculated move?

“As for whether we communicate well… that’s something only you can judge, so let’s leave that out for now. Everything else is correct, isn’t it?”

“So? What do you want to say?”

“It will be hard to meet someone who fits your ideal type as much as I do. So please, look at me kindly.”

Woo Dobin’s face was full of confidence, but he was gripping his two hands tightly together. Does he know that his hands are trembling? Does he know his eye corners are slightly flushed?

“Give me a chance.”

“A chance, of all things…”

“Just until the crank-up. Just watch me until then. Please, just don’t push me away.”

Woo Dobin said in a stifled voice. Even though he didn’t say it, I felt like I could hear a “Please.” Is this what acting with one’s eyes is? I thought blankly and shook my head.

“I’m sorry, but no matter how much you do that, there is no way I will ever ki… kiss you.”

“You never know.”

Woo Dobin’s gaze was desperate. He is incredibly handsome, tall, rich, a good actor, and the hottest actor in Korea right now. A Woo Dobin like that was clinging to me. A petty sense of superiority reared its head, only to disappear instantly, replaced by guilt.

“You like things to be efficient, sunbae.”

How did he know that, too?

“Think about it efficiently. We have to shoot the movie anyway. Wouldn’t you feel uncomfortable if you rejected me now?”

“So, if I give you a ‘chance’ as you say, what changes?”

“Then, until the movie ends, I will just be someone who likes you, and you will be in the position of testing me.”

“Testing you?”

The nuance felt really off.

“Shall we say ‘keeping me on the hook’?”

That was even worse.

“Anyway, isn’t a relationship like that better than one where I’ve confessed and been rejected?”

It was weird logic, but it seemed like it could be convincing. Either way, I am going to reject him. It was a question of whether I reject him now, or reject him after the crank-up as he said.

“If I get dumped now… my heart might hurt, and I might stop eating and… not be able to focus on the movie. Then in the end, all of that will affect the perfection of the movie and your career, too…”

“Are you threatening me right now?”

“Yes…”

Woo Dobin, having become sullen again, crept closer and touched my hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Just until the crank-up…”

Before I knew it, Woo Dobin was hooking his finger around my index finger. His touch was cautious.

“If you still say you dislike me then, I will leave without any regrets. I promise.”

Swish. I pulled away my captured hand. As my hand felt empty, Woo Dobin’s complexion darkened.