CRANK 10

Before I could even open my mouth, Woo Dobin apologized. I was the one who ended up speechless at the unexpected reaction. Woo Dobin’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

“I didn’t even realize… you must have been taken aback. I’m sorry.”

Woo Dobin bowed his head in apology. The edges of his ears were slightly flushed. He covered his face with large, vein-protruding hands. I couldn’t tell if his face was small or his hands were huge, but his face was almost entirely hidden by one hand.

“Why on earth are you doing that?”

“Yes?”

The words just spilled out. It felt like something I had been suppressing was now running wild, beyond my control.

“You… was it true when you said in SAW that you were my fan?”

“Of course.”

“That album you shoved at me back then, that…”

It took a great deal of courage to say the group name.

“Sun… Set Beach Angel, that one.”

“Yes.”

“Are you serious? About wanting an autograph on that?”

Perhaps the question was unexpected, as Woo Dobin just cleared his throat and stayed silent.

“Did you… seriously want an autograph on that CD?”

“…Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I have everything else.”

“What?”

“I have the 2nd and 3rd Sun Set Beach Angel albums, and the Blu-rays of the dramas and movies you appeared in after that, all autographed and in my collection.”

“…What?”

“I entered prize giveaways, bought them secondhand…. I know I shouldn’t buy them at a premium, but they were too hard to find. Especially the Sun Set Beach Angel albums, there are hardly any sellers.”

“No, wait, hold on a second.”

I couldn’t keep up with what Woo Dobin was saying. What kind of nonsense was this? It felt like my mind was spinning.

“Are you saying the only reason is because you couldn’t get an autograph on the 1st one?”

“Yes.”

Woo Dobin tilted his head as if asking what the problem was.

“…I’m asking why it had to be Sun Set, that one.”

“Why ‘had to be’? Because you were there, Sunbae.”

“Why would you care about that flop…”

“What does it matter if it flopped or not? You were there.”

“Are you seriously saying it’s just because you like me?”

“Yes.”

With a clear face that showed no other intentions, Woo Dobin nodded vigorously.

All this time, I had been harboring some suspicion. The suspicion that he had brought that album on purpose just to grab my attention.

“Are you really my fan?”

“Yes, I’m a fan. I told you.”

Woo Dobin’s eyebrows drooped as if he felt wrongly accused.

“But don’t you know that I hate that stuff?”

“That… Sun Set Beach Angel?”

“Yeah, that. I’ve talked about it in interviews several times.”

“You never said you hated it…”

“Of course I couldn’t say I hated it! The fans were watching, how could I say that to their faces? But my fans all know. They pick up on it. That I hate talking about my idol days.”

“…”

Now, Woo Dobin was almost folding into himself, shoulders hunched.

“Did you really not know?”

“…I knew.”

This guy?

“But… I wanted to have it. The 2nd and 3rd albums were both autographed, but the 1st one was just left hanging there, empty…. I didn’t know you hated it that much. I’m sorry.”

At any rate, he was a guy who was quick to apologize.

“So you’re really a fan?”

“I’m telling you, I am.”

Despite my persistent questioning, Woo Dobin just met my gaze with a confident attitude. That he was a real fan, a fan… that there was no other hidden reason, just that he was a fan.

“Actually, I became a fan during the 3rd Sun Set Beach Angel album.”

“Became a… fan….”

“Don’t you know what that means? It means I fell for you.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t know; I said it because it was awkward to hear such a phrase coming from Woo Dobin’s mouth.

“Anyway, the concept back then was really good. The highlights you put in your hair and the goggles…”

“Aack!”

I shouted, covering my face without realizing it. It was because the turn-of-the-millennium concept we’d done in the name of ‘retro’ had come to mind.

“You must be a cool tone, Sunbae. Pink suited you better than yellow.”

Actually, it wasn’t yellow, it was platinum blonde. I was stunned, remembering the time I gave up because no matter how much I bleached it, it wouldn’t turn platinum.

“But of all times, you disbanded right after I became a fan… so I never even got to go to a fan signing or anything like that.”

“Wait, hold on.”

If it was during the 3rd album, I was twenty-four, and at the time of disbandment, I was around twenty-five, which meant Woo Dobin would have been twenty-two or twenty-three.

“In your early twenties… you intended to come to a male idol fan signing?”

“…Sunbae, you’re very narrow-minded.”

“That’s not it…”

I clamped my mouth shut, having nothing to say. Of course, that was possible, but it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence, was it?

“I was a sergeant right at that time. You watch a lot of music programs in the military, you know.”

“…You saw me… Sun Set… there?”

“Yes.”

My voice that must have rung out among those burly men… my aegyo… the lyrics that were unnecessarily futuristic despite the turn-of-the-millennium concept… my dark past….

“Back then, you were so cu… no, pret… I mean, you looked cool….”

Woo Dobin’s face flushed bright red.

“My heart ached when you disbanded, but I was so glad to see you transition into an actor shortly after.”

“By any chance, did you watch that from the beginning too…?”

I thought that if it was Woo Dobin, he might have even seen my very first ‘wooden’ acting.

“Of course. But the agency was so bad at their jobs, they didn’t even update the schedules properly. So I had to look them all up one by one.”

Even though it wasn’t the time for it, I nodded in empathy. Back then, I was a ‘discarded card’ to that agency. Even when they managed to squeeze me into a minor or extra role, in most cases, they didn’t even post the schedule.

“Honestly, I think your role as the part-time cafe worker in your second appearance had too little screen time. If they gave you that much narrative, they should have let you appear more.”

“…It was actually longer, but it got cut.”

“No, why?”

Woo Dobin shouted as if pouring out his indignation.

“That’s ridiculous. Why would they cut that?”

Woo Dobin was an actor in his own right. That meant he knew how the broadcasting world worked. Having pre-shot footage deleted wasn’t exactly an unusual event. A lot of things got cut for external reasons, like not fitting the flow during editing, being unnecessarily dragged out, or running out of time. But in my case, it was entirely my own fault.

“Because I couldn’t act…”

“Yes?”

Woo Dobin hissed as if he were hearing such nonsense for the first time in his life.

“Even to me, my acting up to the fourth one was unbearable to watch.”

“No, it wasn’t? It was acting full of personality, wasn’t it? Why are you saying things like that, Sunbae?”

“…Huh?”

“The acting I referred to when I first played a lead in a drama was your third minor role.”

“That psychopath?”

“Yes! The emotional line was so delicate.”

“Hey, that’s enough.”

My face flushed hot.

I hadn’t missed the fact that in the occasional fan meeting or on the internet, fans would pick apart my work from my debut project down to the nano-level and love it. They liked my raw acting and praised the decent acting that appeared by chance rather than the ten mistakes I made.

So, receiving praise wasn’t exactly such a shaming thing, but the problem was… it was coming from Woo Dobin’s mouth. I had just seen how well that bastard acted. To think he was praising a minor role from years ago, not even current ones.

Even when I waved my hand to stop him, Woo Dobin didn’t stop the praise.

I finally brought up another question to change the subject. The question the fans had asked during the live broadcast earlier. The question Woo Dobin had skillfully dodged.

“What on earth did you like about it?”

“Yes?”

“There are so many idols on music shows. Objectively speaking, our songs weren’t even that good.”

“I told you. Because you looked cool…”

“Honestly, wasn’t that concept not even that cool? Other idols were more…”

I thought of other idols who would rise to the number one candidate spot at every opportunity around that time. If we’re talking about looking cool, they were way cooler.

“But face-wise, you were the prettiest, no, the handsomest, Sunbae.”

“…So it’s because of my face?”

“That’s not the only reason, but.”

Woo Dobin made an awkward expression.

When I auditioned for acting roles, I was rejected for being ‘too handsome,’ and my eventual success was also thanks to the ‘face genius’ title. Since I had a 28-year track record of looking in the mirror, I understood. It wasn’t an incomprehensible reason.