SWAP 7

I opened my eyes feeling as though I had woken from a very old dream.

I couldn’t even remember how I had fallen asleep, so I rubbed my stiff eyelids firmly with the back of my hand. What time is it? The bedroom, with its blackout curtains drawn, let in not a single point of light, making it difficult to gauge the time. I flailed my hand around, fumbling to find my phone, but instead of a hard device, I caught something else.

Before I could properly figure out what it was, fingers intertwined with mine as if playing a prank, and I realized it was someone’s hand.

Startled, I looked to my side and saw Seo Saheon sitting hunched in the darkness, though I had no idea how long he had been there.

“…What are you doing here?”

As I asked, barely returning my heart to its proper place after it nearly dropped, Saheon asked back with a nonchalant face.

“Why do you sleep so long?”

“Me…? What time is it now?”

“5:12.”

Unlike Saheon, Seoul was someone whose sleeping hours were relatively regular. Since it was his routine to wake up at 6:00 AM if he fell asleep around midnight, he blinked blankly.

I slept that long?

If he had come all the way into the bedroom, it meant it was 5:00 PM now, but unless there were back-to-back overnight filmings, this sort of thing rarely happened. As I sat up in a fluster, I felt a gaze following me silently. Since when had he been in here? I was worried that I might have talked in my sleep or something.

“You should have woken me. I guess I was tired; I slept like the dead.”

“If you’re tired, sleep more.”

For having slept so long, my fatigue didn’t feel particularly relieved. Still, since it was a common occurrence, I let it pass as no big deal.

“Mmm, it’s okay. What about your food?”

“Not yet.”

At the answer that he still hadn’t eaten even though a whole day had passed, Seoul’s eyes turned round. Since Saheon originally hated eating alone, I wondered if he had been waiting for me to wake up, and I started to feel rushed.

Without even having time to straighten the bedding, I jumped up and pulled the hand that was holding mine. My only thought was that I had to feed him something for now.

“You weren’t waiting for me to wake up, were you? How many times do I have to tell you to make sure you eat well.”

“We can just eat together.”

“No, I mean even if we can’t eat together…”

You have to take care of yourself now.

It was just as I burst the bedroom door open, pouring out the nagging words that came out unintentionally.

Facing the living room landscape, which was no different from the darkened bedroom, Seoul paused right where he was. No matter how early the sun set, it made no sense for it to be this dark. This was surely, rather than five in the afternoon, like the sun hadn’t even risen yet….

Surely not.

“…By any chance, is it five in the morning right now?”

“Yeah.”

I asked with a heart hoping it wasn’t true, but the answer that came back was brazen.

I looked back with a feeling of what on earth is this behavior at dawn, but Saheon, who was being dragged along by Seoul’s hand, had an unbothered expression.

He wasn’t a troublesome five-year-old, and since I couldn’t understand why he would tell a lie that was bound to be caught anyway, I pressed my hand to my forehead.

“Then it’s not that I slept long, but that I woke up early. Why are you saying things to confuse a person….”

“Just because. I waited, but you wouldn’t wake up.”

So just since when have you been waiting.

While swallowing the sigh that felt like it would leak out, Seoul narrowed his eyes at a sudden question. Come to think of it, even the fact that Seo Saheon was awake this early was suspicious. Why would a guy who always had to be prodded by me to slowly get out of bed be awake at this hour? Even thinking back on his schedule, there was nothing special.

“What time did you wake up?”

“But it’s true that I’m hungry.”

It was an irrelevant answer given without much thought. Still, I was a bit swayed by the word “hungry,” and my body gradually leaned toward the kitchen. What was in the fridge?

“I asked since when you’ve been waiting.”

“Don’t know. Shall we eat scrambled eggs? With shrimp in them.”

“Shrimp? Ah, but we used up all the butter. I have to go buy some.”

“I already bought it.”

“…Did you wake up early because you wanted to eat this by any chance?”

It was a reasonably valid guess. For Saheon, appetite came after the desire for sleep, but couldn’t the order be reversed occasionally?

When I asked with a face that had barely approached the correct answer, Saheon, who was staring down at Seoul, nodded moderately. It was an atmosphere where anything was fine, but fortunately, Seoul didn’t notice.

“Yes. I’m hungry.”

“Honestly, you’re not a child….”

I don’t know why he’s doing things he didn’t even do back during kindergarten picnics now. While grumbling as if it were absurd, Seoul’s footsteps were already heading toward the refrigerator. It is often the case that it is scarier when someone does things they never used to do.

After turning on the lights and trying to take out the frozen shrimp first, I suddenly realized my hand was still caught. I tried to release it naturally, but I failed because he held on tighter.

“Hey… you said you wanted scrambled eggs. Let go of this and go to the sofa.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t just say ‘okay’.”

“Yes.”

“Why does he keep making me mad since morning…?”

He answers perfectly well, yet he makes no move to actually move. I imagined getting angry, but knowing myself unable to do so, a deep sigh leaked out. Giving meaning to this kind of skinship one by one toward Seo Saheon was a pointless act. Since I’d be the only one whose heart wouldn’t remain intact, there was no chance of winning anyway.

Out of necessity, I went as far as the dining table with him and sat him down.

Only after throwing out a threatening remark that I wouldn’t make the scrambled eggs if he interfered any further did Saheon barely become well-behaved; glancing at him, I hurried to open the freezer door. Throughout the time I spent taking out and preparing the necessary ingredients, the back of my head felt stinging.

After dicing the vegetables while trying to ignore it, I removed the moisture from the thawed shrimp. After seasoning them and whisking the eggs through a sieve, I realized I was cooking in a state where I hadn’t even washed properly. Ashamed of my face which was surely a mess, my hands gradually became faster.

I stir-fried the shrimp and vegetables in the pan and put them on a plate, followed by finishing the scrambled eggs with butter. The moist yellow glow looked appetizing at a glance. I carefully moved them next to the shrimp and finished with parsley and pepper.

Is this okay?

Because it was a menu he wanted to eat even while losing sleep, I felt worried for no reason.

I had never once heard a complaint about the taste until now, but… while I was worrying that you never know, the plate in front of me disappeared.

“Oh….”

“Why, do you want to add something more?”

It was Saheon. Having approached the side at some point and lifted the two plates, he asked briefly while looking at the hesitating Seoul. When I shook my head saying it wasn’t that, he turned around and set the table. If cooking was Seoul’s share, this side was Saheon’s share, so it was a familiar situation.

Seeing the cutlery placed side by side, I finally felt at ease.

Eating while it was warm would be best, but the desire to wash even simply came before the appetite, so I spoke toward Saheon who was sitting in his seat.

“Eat first, I’m going to go wash up.”

Without even waiting to hear an answer, I turned around and headed for the bathroom.

Looking into the mirror, fortunately, except for my hair being a bit disheveled, it was similar to usual.

I wanted to take a shower, but I felt strangely concerned about Saheon left alone at the table. I picked up one of the toothbrushes placed side by side and squeezed out the toothpaste. Since there were no schedules starting today anyway, it wouldn’t matter if I postponed the shower until later, would it? I acted leisurely for a moment and then burst into a hollow laugh.

Leisurely, my foot.

I have to look for a house starting this very day, yet I’m being incredibly peaceful.

Even though I had been in such a rush until yesterday, it seemed I was indeed out of it because it was dawn. After brushing my teeth thoroughly to the back and rinsing, I splashed my face with cold water. It was meant to help me come to my senses.

“……. Good.”

Only after my cheeks felt stinging as if I’d been slapped did the things I had to do finally come to mind. I should visit the real estate offices in the morning first. If there’s a good property, I’ll sign the contract immediately, and then the moving center….

Applying for a full-service move would be simple, but since I was the only one moving out, it was ambiguous in many ways. Both of our professions were what they were, and since Saheon had to continue living here even if I weren’t there, I was reluctant to bring in other people recklessly. Since Saheon originally hated anyone coming into his space, it seemed better to pack the luggage myself. Since there were many items we used together, there was also a need to categorize them.

Organizing things step by step like that made me feel like my head was getting a bit clearer.

I was flustered, but perhaps waking up early was actually a good thing.

Seoul, having wiped his wet face clean with a towel, took a deep breath. I tried to steady my sinking heart, telling myself I should have done this long ago.

It was the same for Seo Saheon. Even if he acts like that right now, he will eventually get used to it if we stay apart for a bit. It’s a foolish thing to be scared without even trying. Just how many years have I been doing this, I was mocking myself anew when I turned the handle.

“Whoa, you scared me…!”

Because of Saheon, who appeared right before my eyes the moment the door opened, Seoul had no choice but to reflexively take a step backward.