SWAP 54

The screen turned pitch black as the video finished playing. It felt exactly like the state of his own mind, and Saheon had to force himself to swallow his dry spit. He had seen it with his own eyes, yet he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know what on earth had happened during the year he was away from Korea.

Above all, he couldn’t understand the reactions of the people who watched this video and commented on how realistic it was.

Are their eyes just decorative holes?

He is falling while clearly paralyzed with terror; how could that possibly be acting?

Seo Saheon, who could guess everything correctly about Lee Seoul even with his eyes closed, dared to be certain. Someone had intentionally pushed him.

Once he reached that conclusion, his stomach turned in an instant. Sparks flew before his eyes at the thought of what kind of insane person would even think of dropping that tiny kid from a second floor.

Now that he understood the situation, Lee Seoul’s behavior—sobbing like a newborn just moments ago—started to make sense, piece by piece. Realizing how much the boy must have been suppressing and holding it all in for it to burst out just by seeing Saheon’s face once, Saheon bit back a rising sigh. He shouldn’t have gone to Australia. He should have stayed glued to his side instead of going. If he had known this would happen, he wouldn’t have been fooled by that face smiling brightly and telling him to go and take lots of pictures in his stead.

He regretted it like that, but it didn’t last even five seconds.

There was no point in digging up the past anyway; it was meaningless, and he couldn’t go back. Thinking about what use any of that was, Saheon, slowly holding his breath, turned his head. He knew exactly what action he had to take right now.

His eyes met Seo Suran’s, who was watching him cautiously.

Now, the burden of anxiety belonged to the unsuspecting Seo Suran.

It would be better if he threw a fit because he couldn’t control his temper or acted like an arrogant brat as usual; when his expression vanished completely like it did now, she was forced to realize—even if she didn’t want to—that her younger brother was actually not normal. How on earth was this dark, inscrutable guy the same age as Seoul?

Seo Suran, after tugging at her hair once, opened her mouth. Since there was only one thing he had been interested in since he was young, the subject was obvious.

So, what happened?

By the time Seoul, who had fallen asleep exhausted from crying, woke up after a full day had passed, most of the situation had already been settled. The Seo family, who had looked more than just haggard—they looked ten years older overnight—had been very busy because of him. Since they couldn’t exactly upend Lee Seoul’s house, this young madman had instead turned his own household into a complete shambles. His “disobedient son” stats, which were already overflowing, hit their peak, but the person in question didn’t feel much about it.

Seoul, who had been shivering in his sleep inside the eye of the storm without even knowing what kind of typhoon had passed through the previous night, checked his phone with a startled face as soon as he woke up. Today’s filming was supposed to start in the morning. He turned the power on with trembling hands, but strangely, no messages had arrived.

The moment he was about to toss the blanket aside and hurry out, Saheon, who entered the room right on time, approached and asked casually.

‘Where are you going?’

‘My filming… I heard it starts this morning, but I fell asleep without knowing.’

‘It’s fine. Sleep more. They said it was canceled today and they’ll film from tomorrow.’

‘…Huh?’

Saheon stood with a blank face for a moment under Seoul’s bewildered gaze, which seemed to ask how he knew that. Then, putting on his usual expression, he asked a question back. ‘What are you looking at? Don’t you have anything to say to me? Why didn’t you tell me you were filming a drama? There was no mention of that in the emails. You made me look like a fool and made my stomach turn.’ At that reproach, Seoul truly had nothing to say; after hesitating for a long time, he whispered in a crawling voice.

‘I was just worried you’d be concerned… and you wouldn’t be able to see it from there anyway, and you aren’t interested in dramas anyway.’

‘Me? Why wouldn’t I be interested?’

‘…….’

‘Hey, Lee Seoul. You aren’t going to quit anyway, are you? That’s why you didn’t tell me. Because you knew I’d throw a fit telling you not to do it if I found out. Am I wrong?’

‘…….’

‘Fine. Do it. That actor thing or whatever. But from tomorrow, I’m going with you. Just so you know.’

Seoul, who had his gaze fixed on the floor because he had nothing to say, snapped his head up. Staring with a dumbfounded expression as if wondering what he had just heard, Saheon, frowning as if there was nothing more to discuss, led Seoul—who was only halfway out of bed—toward the kitchen on the first floor.

Adding a bit of exaggeration by saying that Seoul’s wrists were nothing but bones because of how much he had been suffering alone, Saheon finally let Seoul go only after seeing him finish a whole bowl of rice that day.

And the next morning, Saheon was indeed already sitting in the back seat of the car heading to the filming set. Looking as if he wasn’t pleased.

The boy, who tapped the seat next to him with a somewhat grumpy expression, yanked Seoul’s wrist, asking what he was doing not getting in quickly. For some reason, not a single word was heard from the driver’s seat, and at the parking lot of the filming set where they arrived, Saheon said:

‘I’ll be right here, so come when filming is over. I have nothing to do anyway since it’s vacation. If anyone bullies you, come and tell me.’

Originally, Seoul was going to tell him to go back now.

However, knowing that no one could stop Saheon if he were being that stubborn, Seoul just let out a deep sigh and closed the door. He wished he would just go. Because he absolutely, definitely didn’t want to show Saheon his soaked appearance or his state after things turned into a mess.

It was just as Seoul, covering his mouth as he felt his stomach churning again, stepped onto the filming set. When he looked around to offer his greetings, he saw a familiar back in the distance. Seoul, dragging his legs that were reluctant to move, approached and gave a polite bow, saying “Hello.” Usually, the director would have just said “Yeah, yeah” half-heartedly and waved his hand for him to hurry to the set, but instead, he froze and looked at Seoul with a very stiff face.

He had a look as if there was something he wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth and just scratched his head or hands roughly. Then, with a dark face, he told Seoul that a new script had come out and he should go get it from the assistant director. Seoul was terrified of what content might be in it this time, but the situation began to flow in a completely different direction than what he had expected.

‘Heon!’

Tap, tap, his steps toward the parking lot were urgent. He flung open the familiar back door and called the name, and Saheon, who had been sleeping in an uncomfortable position, slightly opened his eyes and looked this way. He didn’t say anything, but his gaze was quiet, as if he already knew exactly what Seoul was going to say.

Then, young Seoul’s heart suddenly dropped with a thud.

You know everything.

You’re here because you know everything.

‘What. If you called me, say something. Did something good happen?’

That kind of person, that kind of face. How could he not love him?

Saheon, who kept pretending not to know until the very end even though he knew everything, waited for Seoul in that parking lot every single day until that drama finished filming. With a face that was a bit pouting and not very pleased, unlike his usual self. Yet, he looked as if he were worried that some other trace might be left on Seoul’s face.

ㄨ

“…I’m serious, that’s really how it was! When I’d open the back door after coming back to the car when the ‘cut’ was called, you were always there with exactly this expression. You were annoyed but couldn’t say anything… but then you were worried, so you’d only check my face.”

Unlike back then when he looked like he was about to burst into tears, Seoul was now chatting away to Saheon with a bright smile. Saheon, watching Seoul’s cheeks puffing up enthusiastically as if something was so funny despite it not being a particularly good memory, asked in a somewhat incredulous tone.

“Is it funny that I was annoyed?”

“Yeah.”

“What?”

“It’s really funny. You don’t get annoyed at other people. You’d rather just ignore them.”

Since it was the truth, Saheon had nothing to say. When Saheon, who hadn’t even broken even, shifted his gaze—which had been fixed straight ahead—downward, his eyes naturally met Seoul’s, who had been looking up at him this whole time.

“I know. You were putting up with me back then. In your heart, you wanted to tell me to quit, but you knew I wouldn’t be able to.”

The director, who started walking on eggshells around him from a certain point, and the script where the timing of meeting his biological mother was moved up rapidly. He couldn’t have known back then, but he can know now. What Saheon had been suppressing and what he had been holding back while his stomach was turning.

Because of that, those days weren’t entirely bad for Seoul.

If he had been alone, he would have surely been too scared to even look back, but in the end, they were together. So now, even when he climbed to high places, he wasn’t particularly scared. Because it felt like even if he were pushed, someone would catch him, just like then.

With their gazes still locked, Seoul spoke in a voice that had grown a bit stronger.

“I’m okay now. I’m not scared.”

“…….”

“Because you were always with me.”

So it’s okay.

Because every time I want to run away, I know you’ll be waiting there.