HACKED 104

“Me? Why are you buying a headset for me?”

Lee Jaeyoung lowered his head and habitually scratched the back of his head. Then, as if he had accidentally touched a spot where he was injured, he swallowed a scream and trembled. Watching him look like that, a sigh escaped me naturally.

“It’s your birthday soon, isn’t it? August 8th.”

“…….”

“In my own way, I looked up some equipment for composing on the internet. But most of it was incredibly expensive. The only price range I could manage was for things like a headset, a microphone, and speakers.”

“…….”

“Even if you had other large equipment, you wouldn’t be able to use it properly anyway. There’s no place to put it in our room, and you’d need a soundproof studio too. So for now, I decided on a headset.”

I wondered why he was trying to buy me another headset when I already had one, but it seemed it was the result of much agonizing in his own way. The inside of my mouth felt even more bitter.

Why did you even work part-time under a boss like that? Instead of suffering like a dog, having your wages stolen, and getting beaten like a dog by the director, you shouldn’t have done it at all.

No, it wasn’t his fault. I simply shouldn’t have started composing.

I’m not even some great genius…. Even the talent I do have is so mediocre that it’s only worth a few tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of won on the internet, yet I went around acting like I was doing art, and that’s why things ended up like this.

It’s all wrong. I shouldn’t have become close with Lee Jaeyoung in the first place. Lee Jaeyoung is unnecessarily kind, so even if it wasn’t a headset, he would have tried to press some kind of gift into my hands. So, so….

“You son of a bitch. When did I ever ask you to buy me a headset? Did I ask you?”

My emotions suddenly surged. I didn’t want to be like this, but the only things coming out were sharp rebukes that seemed to blame Lee Jaeyoung.

“I didn’t even ask you to buy it, so why did you buy it and go through all that trouble? Who am I that you spent months…”

“Myeong hyung, don’t talk like that. You aren’t a ‘who am I’ person.”

The kid spoke as clearly as possible. It must have been difficult to say even a single syllable because the inside of his mouth was all torn and swollen, yet he was actually more calm and mature than I was.

Instead of being calmed by those words, I became even angrier. My vision was nearly turning blood-red.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. A gift bought by a kid two years younger than me working himself to the bone? Fuck, even if you give me something like that, I won’t take it.”

“…….”

“Until now, we got along just fine without giving or receiving gifts. But suddenly, what got into you!”

Lee Jaeyoung stared at me blankly without a word. In his face, which was stained with all sorts of horrific injuries, the only parts that remained intact were his two eyes.

That child’s clever and clear eyes always stared straight at me. In those eyes, there was no disgust, no prejudice, no rebellious phase, and no hatred toward the world. Unlike a child who spent his entire childhood in an underprivileged environment.

I breathed in and out deeply. The violent anger that had risen to the top of my head, not knowing who it was directed at, gradually subsided. Bitterness filled the gap.

“Jaeyoung. Thank you for trying to give me a gift. Thank you, but… hyung hates you suffering that much. You’re still young.”

“…….”

“If you were twenty years old, I would have received it happily. But not now. No hyung would want his dongsaeng, who is a student who can’t even get proper allowance, to save money while not being able to sleep or eat.”

“…….”

“As for the gift, when you and I get out of here… then, I’ll receive it then. I told you. When I leave this place, I’m going to take you with me too. Even so, I still earn more than a full-time part-time job at minimum wage right now. Do you think I can’t support just one of you?”

Lee Jaeyoung was in a huddling posture, hugging his knees. In that state, he quietly lowered his head. His silence was longer than expected.

‘Is he crying?’

Did I speak too harshly in the heat of the moment? Again, because of this desperate sociability, I couldn’t distinguish between what should and shouldn’t be said….

“Myeong hyung.”

Before my thoughts could stretch toward the worst, he finally opened his mouth. His voice was slightly damp, but not to the point of being tearful.

“Hyung and I… we can get out of here, right? We don’t have to endure it anymore, right?”

‘Endure’.

Every child here was “enduring” life here in their own way. Whether they had the realization that they were enduring it or not, whether they seemed dissatisfied on the surface or not, everyone was the same in that one thing.

As for the adolescence that had to be “endured,” I had only a few months left until the point where I turned 18, and Lee Jaeyoung had about two more years. It was only that much of a difference.

“Of course. When I turn 18, I’ll get the self-reliance settlement fund. I’ll get a room with that first.”

If it’s not enough, I can add the money I saved separately. The location doesn’t matter. Since I already dropped out of school long ago, there’s no need to worry about commuting issues.

“And I’ll pull you out right away. Just wait a little.”

In principle, Lee Jaeyoung is at an age where he still must continue to receive the protection of the facility. If Lee Jaeyoung leaves the facility without permission before turning 18, it becomes a “runaway” rather than a “midway discharge.”

However, the director was extremely negligent in managing the orphanage students. There was a curfew, but he didn’t enforce it particularly strictly, and there were no headcounts or roll calls in the first place.

If we coordinated with the guys using the same living room and showed our faces formally once every few days, it would be fine. There was more than one or two guys who practically lived outside in that way.

Of course, if we were unlucky and got caught, we’d be screwed.

The director was always like that. Whether he knew about the numerous misdeeds and delinquencies of the orphanage students or not, he would just let them slide, but if one person got caught in the wrong way, he would give a punishment that was more harsh than necessary as if holding that one person accountable for all the responsibility accumulated until now.

The assault Lee Jaeyoung suffered this time must have been in that context. Even though he knew other kids earned money through part-time jobs healthily, or through compensation meetings, second-hand transaction scams, or private gambling unhealthily, he overlooked it… and then he caught Lee Jaeyoung, who reported himself, like catching a rat to make an example of him.

The structure where the more shameless you are, the more you benefit, and the more conscientious you are, the more you lose, was incredibly irrational. But because of that, this place actually felt like a microcosm of society.

“Yeah. You know… hyung. I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while.”

Lee Jaeyoung slowly raised his head. His clear eyes, which had been consistent since the time we first shared a conversation-like conversation, and had never faded.

Something like an intuition flashed through my mind. For some reason, the words that would follow seemed like they would be very important words… it was an intuition close to a premonition.

However, I couldn’t judge whether it was in a good or bad way. My heart began to beat anxiously. I answered half a beat late.

“…Yeah, why.”

Blink, and then blink again. His eyes blinked slowly twice. And the words that followed were.

“I like you.”

His words fell into my ears. Like a judge sentencing in a courtroom.

This time, the one who fell into an endless silence was not him, but me. I slowly opened my mouth and asked back.

“…As a brother?”

It was a considerably stupid question. Lee Jaeyoung let out a chuckle with his torn and blood-scabbed lips.

“No.”

“…….”

“We’ve never been brothers. Not for a single moment.”

What was the first emotion that arose as soon as I heard those words?

It wasn’t a feeling of rejection toward hearing “I like you” from someone of the same sex. Of course, at that time, I had never dated anyone, and I had never harbored romantic feelings for anyone. But it was clear that I didn’t dislike a specific gender or orientation.

Through puberty, I vaguely felt that I was a bit different from many boys who acted as if they were crazy about girls. It didn’t particularly matter to me whether the other person was a woman or a man, gay or straight or bisexual.

The possibility would be slim, but… I even thought that if I became an adult and entered a special relationship with someone, whether that relationship was platonic, romantic, or sexual, it wouldn’t matter what kind of person they were.

Then what is this feeling? Is it the surprise of receiving a confession from an entirely unexpected person?

Even I don’t understand it, but that wasn’t it either. From the very first moment he smiled and spoke to me, perhaps, I might have already been sensing this situation just a little bit from deep within my subconscious.

If it wasn’t that, then what on earth was the feeling?

“What?”

It was exactly this.

“You’re saying we were never… brothers for a single moment?”

It was a very strong sense of betrayal, as if I had been hit hard on the head.