SLDS 89

Cecil was dragged away indiscriminately, his wrist held fast. He did not even know where they were going. It was more than enough of a struggle just to keep up with Alexis’s fast pace.

The place they entered after opening the door was one of the many private meeting rooms within the main palace.

Only after entering the secret room was Cecil’s wrist freed. Alexis had gripped it so forcefully that even the bones in his wrist ached, and marks in the shape of his fingers were left on the white skin.

But Cecil could not check his wrist. His entire body had frozen like a wooden doll in the suffocating tension. His trembling gaze was simply fixed on Alexis’s back.

He stood with his back to Cecil, looking only at the window. A long silence followed, and Cecil could not know what he was thinking.

“…This morning.”

The wait, which felt like a punishment, ended, and Alexis opened his mouth. His low voice, very slow and deliberate, began to recall the earlier situation.

“I heard the news that you had dealt with Count Lawrence. I also heard that the Empress went to see you. I went to check, just in case you were being harassed, but…”

Alexis slowly turned around. His face was full of questions.

“You… love me?”

Ah… so he really heard everything. Cecil could not hide his troubled feelings. His frozen features would not move as he willed them.

“If not for that, I would have had no reason to help Your Highness.”

It was no use lying. Even if this confession made him push Cecil away, it couldn’t be helped.

“……”

However, Alexis’s reaction was ambiguous. It was difficult to tell whether he was angry or not.

He covered his mouth with his palm, so it was not fully revealed what expression he was making. The only visible part, his eyes, had been staring fixedly only at Cecil from the start.

“Since when, exactly?”

“I do not know either.”

“If you don’t know, who does?”

“Is that important?”

Cecil let out an empty laugh. With the successive questions, he felt as if he had become a criminal. Although, from Alexis’s perspective, he would probably feel betrayed.

“It is important. So you had better answer properly.”

“I was planning to sort out my feelings anyway. Your Highness can just consider it as having heard something dirty. Nothing will change. I will make absolutely sure no harm comes to you.”

“……”

“I know you are displeased. But I am also in agony…!”

Cecil could not finish his sentence. As he backpedaled to avoid the suddenly approaching Alexis, he soon hit a wall. He was trapped, unable to move forward or back because of the body blocking his way like an iron wall, and he faced Alexis.

“Not just that you like me, but that you love me?”

“……”

“Me, of all people.”

Alexis asked again several times, as if for reconfirmation. There was no reply, but he seemed to have already found his certainty. He had already heard the answer in Cecil’s expression, which was contorted with despair and fear.

“And you had the nerve to tell me to get married.”

“…Then what should I have done?”

Cecil gently bit the flesh of his lip. Having his one-sided love discovered was like standing naked in front of the other person. Moreover, this was not a situation he had wanted.

“What can I do? Are you telling me I should have confessed to Your Highness?”

“……”

“And could you have accepted it?”

He gathered all the petty pride he had and asked back fiercely. This was all he could muster.

Cecil could not bring himself to face him and turned his head away. His cheeks were soaked, and he didn’t know when he had started crying.

Cecil was dumbfounded at his own state and rubbed his eyes furiously with his sleeve. As he tried to hide his unseemly appearance, Alexis grabbed Cecil’s hand and pulled it down.

“Don’t. You’ll scratch yourself on the button.”

The gentle voice toyed with Cecil’s weakened heart. Honestly, he had thought he might get grabbed by the collar or even hit.

But when he, far from getting angry, worried about him, the sorrow he had been forcibly holding back burst out.

No matter how much he bit his lip, he could not control his heated eyes. As tears that had been clinging to the corners of his eyes dripped down, Alexis could no longer just watch and pulled Cecil into an embrace.

The trembling of the body that came into his arms was transmitted in its entirety, showing just how scared he had been.

“I heard you didn’t even bat an eye after executing the count… why are you trembling like this? Don’t tell me it’s because you think I’ll do something to you?”

“……”

He asked while stroking the round head with his palm. When Cecil hesitated and then nodded, Alexis let out a laugh mixed with a sigh.

He held him for a long time. Cecil finally composed himself and lifted his head.

“I am not asking for anything grand. It is true that I have feelings for Your Highness, but… nothing will change from before. Please, just let me continue as we are now.”

“Are you really satisfied with that?”

“It is enough for me.”

Though his eyes were red and wet, and he was sniffling, Cecil tried to put on his usual resolute expression.

“……”

Alexis looked down at that pitiful face and was lost in thought for a moment.

If Cecil had asked him for something in return for his affection, how far could he have gone?

He could willingly hold him and kiss him. What if he asked to spend the night? Of course, he had no interest in men, but for Cecil’s sake, it was something he could consider.

But Cecil asked for nothing. He just wanted to stay as they were before, for him to pretend not to know about his one-sided love. It was a rather deflating request. He even felt a sense of emptiness for some reason.

Alexis pulled Cecil into another embrace.

Is this a dream, or is it reality? He held the slender body tightly, as if to confirm its substance.

“Cecil, say it with your own mouth. Is it true that you love me?”

“……”

“Hurry.”

When he pressed him, Cecil, buried in his chest, blushed to the nape of his neck and muttered something.

It was a faint voice that seemed like it could die out at any moment, but the sentence declaring his love flowed clearly into Alexis’s ears.

I can’t hear you. One more time. Again.

Alexis heard Cecil’s confession several more times. Each time, his arms holding Cecil tightened.

Warmth filled his empty heart. It was a different kind of fulfillment from when he had achieved victory in war.

✽ ✽ ✽

The battles continued one after another. It was a repetition of winning and losing after close fights.

Alexis wanted to end this tedious war. There was nothing to be gained. Rather, as the fighting continued, both countries were only saddled with losses from the war.

Just in time, Claude, who had returned from negotiations with Kazanjan’s envoy as the empire’s representative, came to the strategy meeting room.

Claude announced the results of the negotiations in his characteristically resolute voice.

“Fortunately, their intentions align with ours.”

At the news that Kazanjan had also expressed its will to end this war, everyone’s faces brightened.

“The other side proposed first that in return for giving up the war, we should exchange hostages as a token of the treaty.”

“Hostages? Who did they want?”

“Kazanjan’s side is demanding Mr. Cecil…”

Thwack, the table shook from a slamming fist.

“Shut your mouth.”

“Your Highness.”

“You’re saying something not even worth discussing.”

Alexis revealed his displeasure in its entirety. An icy tension instantly took over the meeting room. The advisors gathered in the same place had to hold their breath, watching the Crown Prince’s mood.

Cecil was just as surprised. He was honestly flustered by the unexpected demand.

Originally, he and the Empress were supposed to have strongly insisted on taking Yuria as a hostage to end the war.

So this is how it changes.

Cecil clenched his fists tightly under the table.

“I will go.”

“I will never permit it.”

“It is not a bad proposal. Did Your Highness not also wish to end the war? The empire will not suffer a great loss just by handing me over.”

“I clearly said I cannot permit it.”

Alexis said in an icy voice.

He glanced around at all the advisors present, including Cecil and Claude, and then twisted his lips. It seemed he was the only one who objected. He roughly pushed the table and stood up.

“There will be no negotiations. It seems Killian still hasn’t come to his senses, so I’ll have to crush him decisively to teach him a lesson.”

A shadow fell over everyone’s faces. Alexis’s will was so firm that no one dared to voice an opposing opinion.

As Alexis left the meeting room just like that, murmuring voices began to pop out one by one. What should they do? Was there no way to persuade him? They put their heads together and discussed.

“Um… what does Mr. Cecil think?”

The gazes gradually gathered on Cecil. They could not bring themselves to tell the person designated as the hostage to take responsibility, but the meaning in their intense gazes was clear.

Screech, the chair was pushed back. Cecil met the gazes gathered on him and said with a detached expression.

“There is no need to ask my opinion. I know what you all want anyway, and I feel the same.”

In the end, he had to persuade Alexis.

The room attached to the strategy meeting room was also a place where Alexis stayed by himself.

The only furniture was a bed where he could catch a wink of sleep, an elegantly shaped sofa, and a large desk.

As if to prove how much time he had spent here, the room was thoroughly steeped in Alexis’s scent.

Alexis was just as exhausted as anyone else. Continuing a war is not an easy task. He had to be on edge all day long, unable to sleep for even a few hours a day.

As the lives of countless imperial soldiers depended on his every decision, the mental burden Alexis was experiencing grew heavier day by day.

Seeing Alexis sitting in the hard desk chair with his eyes closed, Cecil carefully closed the door and entered.

He had minimized his presence as much as possible, but he had already noticed Cecil’s entry.

Alexis spoke with his eyes still closed.

“I’m warning you in advance, if you’re going to ask me to send you as a hostage, get out.”