MAX 41

It was a very strange feeling. His stomach churned, and emotions that couldn’t be easily defined surged within his chest.

Confusion, surprise, joy, anger, sadness, fear, excitement…

It couldn’t be expressed by such simple words. It felt as if someone had firmly caught him just as he was falling off an endless cliff.

Because of that, Han Jiho felt like he wouldn’t be able to forget Chaehyun, who had grabbed his hand, for a long time. To him, Chaehyun was no longer just a simple existence under the name of ‘fan’ or ‘gaming friend.’

So, he launched E-Code again.

There were so many things he wanted to say to him. All sorts of ill-defined thoughts and emotions were swelling up randomly inside his chest.

But unfortunately, Chaehyun’s nickname had turned gray. He had logged off in the meantime.

“Ah…”

His heart, which had been swelling with anticipation, began to sink bit by bit.

However, the moment of sighing and feeling regretful was brief, as he noticed two messages had been left behind. They seemed to have been sent by 1Jiho and Chaehyun respectively, right before they logged off.

Han Jiho checked 1Jiho’s message first.

[1Jiho]

http://outven.co.kr/board/eoe/7532/29875

[1Jiho]

Chaehyun-hyung and I are going to beat the crap out of those bastards!

After sending a simple reply saying thank you, Han Jiho gripped his mouse again. Then, after taking a deep breath to compose his emotions, he clicked on Chaehyun’s message.

Han Jiho burst into laughter without realizing it. It was because he could somehow imagine Chaehyun’s face, eyes sparkling as he waited for praise.

[Chaehyun]

I hope that Hyung won’t be hurt by things like that anymore.

But that was also brief; Han Jiho’s smile slowly faded at the content of the last message. His message seemed to imply that he knew something.

Come to think of it, from a certain point, Chaehyun had naturally been calling him Hyung. It was a change that occurred over the last three days.

‘Did I tell him my age? Why is he calling me Hyung?’

But if his memory served him right, Han Jiho had never talked about personal matters like his age or occupation to Chaehyun or the clan members. It was because he had been as tight-lipped as possible, fearing his identity might be discovered.

Despite that, Chaehyun called him Hyung as if it were a matter of course.

As if he were someone who knew something.

…No way, did he figure it out?

For a moment, that thought crossed his mind, but as Han Jiho calmly retraced his memories, he shook his head, considering it an absurd thought. The probability of figuring out his identity from the meaningless small talk they shared was close to zero.

At the same time, on one hand, he felt frustrated by this situation and himself—reacting sensitively with a bout of paranoia over a mere title, and having to feel relieved that his identity hadn’t been exposed.

In the end, it was because he realized anew that he and Chaehyun were just ‘gaming friends’ playing together, and that they were in a relationship with a line drawn between them that couldn’t be easily crossed.

Such a relationship was certainly what Han Jiho had desperately wanted.

But actually feeling it firsthand left a bitter taste in his mouth. He even wondered what it would have been like if he weren’t a pro gamer.

If that were truly the case, he could have become closer to Chaehyun than he was now.

At that foolish thought, Han Jiho let out a self-deprecating laugh.

It was a relationship that started with a line drawn from the beginning. And the one who drew that line was neither Chaehyun nor the clan members, but himself. He couldn’t stand how pathetic he was for feeling regretful when he didn’t even have the courage to cross the line.

But what was even more pathetic was his own indecisiveness, unable to find his bearings even while knowing that.

“Whew…”

Letting out a short sigh of frustration, Han Jiho raised his hand and covered his forehead.

His mind was a mess. The deeper his thoughts and emotions went, the more he felt like he was floundering in an inescapable swamp.

Maybe that’s why. Han Jiho suddenly recalled the nagging of Seo Jaeyoon, who used to click his tongue at him.

‘Geez, man. Why do you live life so complicatedly? If you hate it, you hate it; if you like it, you like it. Just live a bit simply.’

He was right. He needed to live a bit more simply. Above all, the most important thing right now was the fact that there was someone cheering for him and believing in him. Even though that person didn’t know his true identity.

Anyway, as he pulled himself together and exhaled a sigh, Han Jiho slowly tapped on the keyboard to write a reply.

After that, Han Jiho shut down the computer but couldn’t leave the front of the turned-off monitor for a long time.

Living simply wasn’t as easy as he thought.

And that evening.

“…”

Under the dim light of the pendant lamp, Han Jiho quietly stared at Seo Jaeyoon, who was sitting across from him.

He must have rushed over as soon as he finished filming, as his makeup and outfit were very flashy. Even though he was his friend, the words “he’s really handsome” naturally came to mind.

But the problem was that it was currently late at night, past 2:34 AM.

Han Jiho, who had gone to bed early because he wasn’t gaming, had to greet him without even getting the sleep out of his eyes because Seo Jaeyoon had barged in without notice.

Seo Jaeyoon, who had barged into the house like that, opened the refrigerator and gulped down cold bottled water as if his insides were burning, and then began to fire words like a machine gun at Han Jiho, who was yawning while half-asleep.

“Hey. What’s with that post on Outven? Did you see it too? What the hell happened? Why is that bastard Hepari suddenly picking a fight and acting like a psycho? Isn’t he crazy? Ah, seriously, the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it is.”

I think you’re just as crazy…

Thinking that with a mind hazy from sleep, Han Jiho yawned deeply once more and spoke to Seo Jaeyoon, who was huffing with excitement on his own. His eyes were half-closed, unable to overcome his drowsiness.

“No… do you know what time it is, causing a fuss now? Let me— yawn, let’s sleep.”

Even as he spoke, a yawn burst out. However, the look in Seo Jaeyoon’s eyes as he watched Han Jiho was nothing but sharp.

“No, is sleep the problem right now? Aren’t you even angry?”

Aren’t I even angry?

But without even a moment to think about such a thing, Han Jiho began to doze off. Whether it was Hepari or whatever, right now he just wanted to lie back down on his bed and sleep.

Then, his head suddenly jerked forward, and Han Jiho woke up with a start. He reflexively wiped the corners of his mouth and looked at Seo Jaeyoon.

He was letting out a hollow laugh with an absurd expression, his left eyebrow arched.

“Uh… sorry.”

Feeling awkward for no reason, Han Jiho apologized and sneakily checked his palm. Fortunately, he hadn’t drooled.

Sighing as he watched Han Jiho, Seo Jaeyoon set down the water bottle with a thud. The 500ml water bottle, which had been new, was now empty.

“Sorry for waking you up.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Han Jiho nodded vaguely and stood up while rubbing his stiff eyes. Then, pointing to his room with the door halfway open, he said:

“Sleep in my room. Take out some clothes and wear them. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”

“Where are you going to sleep?”

“The small— yawn, room. Goodnight.”

Having coolly handed over his room, Han Jiho headed toward the small room with a staggering gait without even waiting for a greeting. Then, smelling the faint scent of fabric softener from long disuse, he collapsed onto the bed.

It was about nine hours later when he woke up again.

“Ugh…”

Han Jiho tossed and turned with a frown. Through the window, which had no curtains, bright sunlight was pouring down onto his face.

Because of that, he had a dream where he was branded a traitor and burned at the stake, and just as the flames reached his face, he sat bolt upright and woke up.

The first thing he saw upon opening his eyes was sunlight so bright it momentarily blinded him.