SPW 82

Sarang’s rut period began as if he were suffering from a fever. It took exactly two days for the low-grade fever warming Florian’s palm to turn into a high fever. Sarang, for whom this was the first rut period without using suppressants, even felt a little afraid of the unfamiliar sensation.

“Rian.”

“Yes, Sarang.”

“I feel strange.”

“Is it just your mood that’s strange?”

“No… my body, too.”

Sarang, who had been sitting restlessly on the sofa, raised his gaze. Florian, who had been sitting opposite him, was now standing in front of Sarang. In the shadow cast over him, Sarang looked as if he could barely breathe. As if understanding such a Sarang, Florian, who cupped Sarang’s cheek with a warm palm, smiled.

“It reminds me of when you snuck into my heat like a thief, Sarang.”

From the smiling eyes and voice, Sarang realized it was a joke. Still, Sarang somehow felt resentful and took on a sullen look, and Florian’s palm, as he laughed out loud, caressed the jawline that had grown more defined in the past year.

“You were the one who only took care of my heat and ran away first.”

“That was…”

“So foolishly, even while firmly believing you would be hated by me.”

“…”

Sarang, whose eyes were stinging, quietly blinked his long eyes. As if everything would go back to normal if he did. As if this deepened heart of his would disappear.

“If I had known your first time would be spent in such a messy state.”

If I had.

Even if I had. Florian would never have let Sarang into his bedroom. That is why their relationship became what it is now.

It seems we had to go through a rut period together, one way or another.

Florian had never experienced a pheromone abnormality in his life. Far from an abnormality, he was known as a model omega with a perfect balance, and he actually was. But when that same Florian put not only a psychological but also a physical distance between himself and Sarang, a problem arose with his pheromones, as if it had been waiting.

That was probably not a coincidence.

Although Florian was more rational than anyone, there was a time in his early twenties when he worked in the field relying solely on his instincts. Sometimes instincts are more accurate than reason, and intuition more so than logic. Florian knew that in the end, it was up to him to either kill Sarang or save him.

At first. Yes, at first, he had interfered in Sarang’s life only out of interest. He could have just ignored that silly dream.

Twenty-four years old. He was bothered that a kid had ended his own life because of him, yet had been unable to reveal even a piece of his heart until the end. Florian admitted that he had jumped into something he could not handle.

“You said this was your first time going through a rut period without suppressants, right, Sarang?”

“…Yes.”

Sarang, whose eyes seemed to be growing moist and were now tinged with red, blinked slowly and added.

“I can… take suppressants even now.”

“You cannot do that.”

“…”

“You know too, Sarang. The pain when suppressant intake is delayed.”

The hand cupping his jaw lifted Sarang’s face. Blue eyes held Sarang without a waver.

“Have you already forgotten that pain?”

“…It’s because you don’t want to do it with me, Rian.”

“…”

“I know that if you didn’t have a problem with your heat, Rian, there would be no reason for you and me to spend a rut period together.”

Sarang’s gaze, as he unconsciously avoided the word ‘we’, was composed.

“It’s not too late even now, Rian.”

Sarang’s warning was closer to a plea than a threat.

“I don’t want to remain as a bad memory for you, Rian.”

Sarang’s palm, which covered the back of Rian’s hand cupping his face, was also hot with fever.

“We decided that in the year I turn twenty-five, you and I would go back to being guardian and ward instead of a married couple.”

Though it was a promise, no, a contract from just half a year ago, it felt like a very old promise.

“You said you would stay on good terms with me even after the divorce, Rian, but…”

Although he hesitated for a moment, Sarang did not stop the words he intended to say.

“I don’t want to do that.”

There was no hesitation in his black eyes.

“Like friends, like brothers, or truly like a guardian and a ward. I don’t want to know you like that for the rest of my life.”

“…”

“I… I just don’t have the confidence to do that.”

The reddened eyes were soaked with heat.

“Just the thought of someone else being by your side, Rian, makes my heart ache. Just the thought of you having another person’s child and becoming a family with another person, Rian, makes my heart ache as if it will break.”

Sarang, who had grown up so much in a few years, now had a voice that had also grown firm after passing through puberty.

“Yes, Rian. It’s not love. That’s why it’s more agonizing.”

Though his face was composed and his voice was calm, Florian could fully feel Sarang’s anguish.

“So, Rian…”

Sarang, who slid Florian’s cupping palm down below his chin and kissed it, whispered.

“After you and I break up, Rian, let’s live like people who have truly broken up.”

Florian, who had been unguardedly lost in the poignant confession, stroked Sarang’s head with his free hand. His white fingers buried themselves in the fine, thick hair. A sweet scent wafted from Sarang’s hair that wound softly around his fingers. It was the pheromone that had lost its restraint. However, Florian did not treat Sarang’s poignant confession as nonsense spouted while drunk on pheromones.

This was probably, no, this was certainly Sarang’s true heart.

“Sarang.”

“…”

Instead of answering, Sarang quietly blinked his feverish eyes. At their continued eye contact, Florian felt a pang in one side of his chest.

“You are truly ungrateful, Sarang.”

To suggest living like strangers for the rest of our lives just because we broke up.

“And I am shameless.”

Because I have no intention of granting that poignant confession of Sarang’s. Love me to your heart’s content, Sarang. Because if I don’t love you, it will lead to a different result than in the dream. But you cannot be separated from me forever. I intend to watch over you as you age naturally—twenty-five, twenty-six, thirty, forty—until you naturally stop breathing. I have to.

“…”

Because I think that’s the only way I can shake off this feeling of apology. No, it’s deeper than an apology, yes. I suppose it’s probably guilt. It seems the guilt I feel toward the Sarang who committed suicide because of me in the dream has carried over into reality. Of course, the Florian in the dream is not me, and the wrongs Florian committed in the dream are not my fault, but I feel a sense of responsibility.

I… want you to be happy, Sarang.

Preferably, beside someone better than me. Beside someone who will love you more than I do. I hope you live comfortably.

The palm that had been brushing against Sarang’s ear pressed firmly against the back of his round head. Florian’s lips touched the lips of Sarang, who obediently tilted his head back.

“Sarang.”

“…”

“Who am I.”

“…Rian.”

“That’s right, I am your spouse who will spend your rut periods with you from now on.”

“Rian…”

“Stop throwing a tantrum like a child, Sarang.”

“…”

“You need a rut partner, Sarang. To do this again after going through it so harshly last October is something only a fool would do.”

Every time Sarang breathed, hot breaths and thick pheromones were exhaled. Florian, an omega himself, also felt a momentary wetness below and slowly pushed open his tightly shut eyelids.

“You went through an early rut period because of me. You took suppressants belatedly, but you must have had a very hard time, Sarang. No, it must have been more painful than any rut period you had ever experienced.”

Florian’s words were true. The moment Florian’s heat ended, Sarang, who had run out of the mansion as if escaping, realized that a rut period had come for him as well. Four days until Florian found him and came. The overdosed suppressants managed to subdue the rut fever, allowing Sarang to endure the pain. Until the moment he discovered Florian standing outside his door, he thought he was holding up well. The moment he smelled his own pheromones wafting from the neat Florian, not the omega from a messy heat period, Sarang almost lost his reason. He had almost lunged at Florian right then and there.

It was a relief. Thanks to having downed all the suppressants he could find, Sarang was able to stop himself. Sarang truly thought it was a relief.

“How many suppressants did you take back then? What I confirmed was 3 boxes. 3 boxes of 8 pills each. You took more than 10 times the recommended dose, Sarang. And that’s only what I confirmed. You should consider yourself lucky that nothing happened back then. And you should also know that that luck may not continue.”

Thanks to fearlessly swallowing the suppressants, Sarang was able to endure for four days alone. The rut fever that had suddenly erupted, stimulated by the heat pheromones of an omega, and the delayed intake of suppressants brought a pain incomparable to anything he had ever suffered, but Sarang endured and bore it well. Even if Florian hadn’t come, he would have finished his rut period just fine. Florian, who read those inner thoughts, smiled.

“Fearless Kim Sarang.”

“…”

“Reckless Kim Sarang.”

If Florian had been even a little late, no one could guarantee what would have happened to Sarang.

“Back then, I was able to cool your rut fever just by draining your semen. I don’t know if you’re being this relaxed because of that, but.”

Florian, who had at some point knelt and climbed onto the sofa, looked down steadily at Sarang, who was now occupying the space between his legs.

“You are a different person from six months ago, Sarang. You have already gone through two heat periods with an omega in heat. No, if you count your rut period that ended with just a hand job, it’s three times. Pheromones that have tasted an omega are never satisfied. Suppressants will be useless for you now.”

“…”

“So either roll around with me, or bring another omega and roll around with them. Choose now.”

Florian, who had straddled Sarang’s thighs, said as he pulled at the tie that was tightly fastened around his neck.