THM Ch 14

The luggage placed in a corner of the room that had not yet been tidied up stared quietly at Taegyuk. They were things he had bought at the shop after going with Team Leader Kang Sanggoo. Several suits and coats, several pairs of dress shoes, ties, belts. The sweatpants, underwear, socks, and such that he had hastily stuffed into a gym bag from home and brought along were also placed lying beside them as if collapsing. Things that sparkled and things that were shabby. Joo Nando and Goo Taegyuk.

Taegyuk closed his eyes while recalling the last appearance of Nando he had seen. When he closed his eyes, he appeared in an even clearer form. At the voice flowing along his lips, his head became dizzy once again.

‘Just shaking it is good, you like it so much that you just burst and ejaculate all over. Right?’

Is it good fortune, or bad fortune? Is this the end, or will there be a next time?

He didn’t know where his hand was going down. He didn’t know that what had been shaken was being shaken again. Though they were all things attached to his own body, Taegyuk didn’t know. He decided not to know.

∞ ∞ ∞

Time flowed at a steady speed. Every day the date changed, and every day a new day arrived. While mornings and nights that seemed the same as yesterday but could never be the same flowed continuously, the hitting and getting hit were also steadily repeated.

For the past week, Nando spent a very pleasant daily life. It was no exaggeration to say that a new world had unfolded. It was all thanks to Goo Taegyuk. The effect obtained by bringing that bastard in was as immense as an addiction. There was never a time when he failed to resolve the rage he obtained all at once or accumulated bit by bit over the course of a day, on that very day. There was also no day he didn’t go to sleep with a lightened chest. He was a frightening guy. Now I won’t be able to quit, he didn’t know how many times he had such thoughts.

Get hit. Endure. Be patient. Accept anything. That is, strictly limited to Joo Nando.

As if engineered that way, he was so diligent in his work that one might wonder if he held some mission in his heart that even death could not overcome.

Every time he saw him, admiration came out, and every time he touched him, exclamations flowed. The bastard’s face becoming completely fine the next day was the icing on the cake. His cheeks, where faint handprints were the entirety of the traces, always put Nando’s mind at ease. The bastard’s body with its fast recovery was now not only the bastard’s own, but also Nando’s asset. Since he bought it with money, it would be fair to view Nando as the owner of that body.

Every time he saw the monster-like recovery power, he was uselessly amazed and excited, so he would stroke the bastard’s head or tap his cheek.

“Taegyuk is amazing. It makes me want to keep hitting you.”

Then the bastard would acquiesce to the touch and offer a greeting, “Thank you.” He truly liked Goo Taegyuk. Day by day he took a liking to him, and day by day he looked pretty. This would be the case for anyone with a normal brain.

In Nando’s eyes, Taegyuk was very talkative. Before being asked, he never opened his mouth first to say a word, but he was by no means a quiet bastard. He was noisy with his whole body. Even with only one mouth attached, and while keeping even that tightly shut, he constantly babbled something. Since what he was saying wasn’t real words, he couldn’t understand it, but it was an undeniable fact that he was shouting something.

He interpreted it in his own way. He translated, fabricated, and inflated it in his imagination as he pleased.

Stale anger is not needed in your world.

That, I will make into an illusion without fail.

Without allowing even a dust-sized piece, I will lead you with a lightened heart to the bed every night.

Forget the taste of anger and frustration that grow larger at dawn, thanks to me.

Strip me, hit me, and shake me.

So don’t know, to the point of missing it.

“Taegyuk-ah.”

“Yes.”

“What should I do if I really come to miss it like that?”

“…What.”

“Mm, no. You just keep taking off your clothes.”

“…Yes.”

It was an interpretation that was satisfying even to think about by himself. Even if a little exaggeration was mixed in, he considered that it wasn’t a complete lie. Because it was content he had personally experienced through the bastard, after all.

However, unlike how he fiercely accepted it in his own way, the bastard’s erection ended as a one-time thing. Getting hit didn’t make his penis shrink either. It maintained the form of a large, thick, yet soft lump of flesh until the violence ended.

After that kind of thing happened that day, he treated the bastard in only one place in the office, so he wondered if that might be the reason. In broad daylight with the sun shining brightly, in a space where subordinates were plentiful, with Sanggoo watching, Minchul watching, and Yeongsik watching, touching him while keeping an appropriate distance without clinging like that day—could that really be the reason?

It was not that he tried to live according to the rule and creed he had established for himself not to get sexually involved with a son of a bitch. It was simply because he didn’t need the bastard to that extent. Not only were there no big incidents, but even simply hitting him during the day melted away the anger in his heart like snow, so why would he call him to his house, is what he meant.

However.

“…”

“…”

“…”

However.

“…”

When a moment suddenly arrived at dawn where his eyes opened, his heart pounded, and he couldn’t fall asleep, the story changed. The depression that crawled inside every moment was truly second to none. There was nothing that could handle the nature of that which swallowed his body like the ocean water at high tide. Waiting helplessly until the time of the tide draining returned was all there was. The sex and violence he received help from every time merely acted as a mere mirages, and just as Goo Taegyuk endured his fists, he also had no choice but to endure.

How long this phenomenon would persist, even he himself did not know. If it ended with this single moment, it would be a miracle, and if it stopped with today, it would be a blessing. If it crossed over to tomorrow…

Trapped in a death-like depression with only his neck barely sticking out, he had a hunch. My mother must be awake like me as well. Arming her whole body with a marsh-like sadness, she must be vomiting blood onto my father’s chest.

Another year had passed again. He had finally entered the month in which the anniversary of Nansung hyung’s death lay.

Five days left. Many things would happen during these five days. Father would visit this house in person, and Mother would visit the office without notice and chop his heart into pieces.

I am also your child, Mother. I was also just like your eldest son, Mother. I didn’t kill him. Even now, you should hate someone other than me. Your husband, and the father of the sons you gave birth to…

─Would he be able to scream it out of his mouth this time?

He thought. While violence was useless, as what should Goo Taegyuk exist by his side?

He wanted to touch the bastard. He wanted to trace as if scratching the giant body equipped with a solid frame. He wanted to slap his cheek and crush his jawbone. Against that body, he wanted to pant and shed sweat. So he wanted to be confirmed. Your thought is wrong, and there are means and methods.

So Nando. Call him right away and tear his clothes.

The maternal uncle who was leaving was not alone. By around this day he should have returned, but there was no news, so when he wondered why that was, there was a woman he was taking with him. She was not the Japanese restaurant manager. She was a young and lively woman who always carried a smile on her face, the woman who waved her palm at Nando through the closing elevator doors.

‘Director, bye.’

The lively personality that Nando could not enjoy no matter what, maternal uncle seemed to like very much. Seeing how he tried to leave her in his empty space even while taking her to a far place. The reason he didn’t look for Nando while enjoying his vacation in Korea must be here as well. If Mother knew, her disappointment might be great. But thanks to that young woman, Nando was able to experience a new world without a crisis. Although right now the good days have all set, and he is submerged in darkness to the point where even his own existence is erased…

“I could hardly recognize Nanbaek. Now he’s really showing signs of an adult. They say he’s already turning twenty next year, right? Which university is he going to? Still not interested in company work?”

“…I am not sure.”

“Is it because the kid grew up receiving a lot of a mother’s love? He’s different in color from you. Must feel a bit complicated, huh?”

“…Toward Nanbaek, I only have feelings of gratitude and apology.”

“Is that so-o?”

Holding the hand of a woman old enough to be his daughter all along, maternal uncle’s hand, covered in moisture, crossed over to Nando’s cheek. Not tap-tap, but tap, tap, tap. It meant he didn’t like the attitude of answering.

“Looking at your condition, you’re almost at your end as well. Where are these the eyes of a living person? They’re eyes right before dying.”

“…”

“How come you’re going to die even earlier than me.”