SIWALL Ch 40

The father completely flustered, soothed, patted, and watched over young Lim Seongsik as he wept, saying, “I miss Mom, I really, truly miss Mom….”

Up until that point, the father had been the greatest dad to Lim Seongsik. He was truly deserving of receiving a carnation every year, and someone worthy of being named by Lim Seongsik as a person he respected. That is to say, back when he was a child.

“Didn’t you say that so-called father abandoned you?”

Arzen asked quietly once more. Elliot nodded silently while gazing into Arzen’s eyes, which resembled shards of ice.

“It must have been tough.”

“…Yes.”

The final word slipped out almost like the screech of metal. His throat tightened, making it difficult for him to force his voice out. As he felt a sense of embarrassment, thinking Arzen might sneer at him, Arzen didn’t care about that at all.

“Frankly, a total scumbag would have been better. Like my uncle.”

“….”

Come to think of it, the only family Arzen had was his uncle, the Emperor.

He had lost his father before he was born, and lost his mother the moment he was born. He grew up entirely alone amidst relatives indifferent to him and enemy forces trying to kill him.

Later on, assassins dispatched by that very relative would pounce on him, preventing him from sleeping properly at night, while his days were spent continuously slashing, stabbing, and shattering people.

Could killing people have been easy just because they were enemies? Was Arzen truly alright after having witnessed scenes of people’s lives snuffing out ever since he was a child?

The only ones who had stayed by his side until he fell asleep were the bedchamber attendants who had passed through Elliot’s post until now. Days and nights of tossing and turning with no effect whatsoever, accompanied by commonplace, disposable people.

“Grand Duke.”

Elliot whispered.

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

“No, you should sleep tonight. I’ll take the bedchamber attendant shift tonight.”

“Not as a bedchamber attendant… I’ll just watch over you. As Elliot Brown.”

Elliot took off the glasses he had been wearing up until then, placed them at the head of the bed, and turned his face toward Arzen once again.

“You can think of it as a friend, or if you prefer, you can think of it as family.”

“…You are neither my friend nor my family. Simply an attendant.”

“I know. But… even though I hate my father, the good things my father did remain within me, giving me a bit of… the strength to endure living.”

Elliot felt even more embarrassed talking about this now than when his voice had cracked with metallic tension in his throat. So, casting his gaze downward, he forced his words to continue.

“Even a father I hate like that could give me the strength to go on living, and though we have a superior-subordinate relationship, you don’t hate me, Grand Duke. Even if you try to kill me from time to time….”

Arzen let out a soft huff of laughter.

“So you wish to give me the strength to live?”

“Uh… It’s not quite that grand. Just….”

“You pitied me.”

What kind of twisted bastard is this?

Elliot initiated his covert middle-finger gesture under the blanket once again.

“It’s not bad.”

However, Arzen’s tone was unexpectedly light. He seemed quite pleased. Elliot slowly lowered the middle finger he had been readying.

“Elliot Brown. Did you know that among your predecessors, there were some who tried to sleep with me?”

“Pardon? Suddenly, w-what on earth…”

“Those fellows put on an act of taking pity on me in order to win my heart. Some even shed tears. It was truly cheap pity.”

“I, I’m not doing that…!”

“I know.”

Without his glasses, Elliot’s eyes possessed a warm, deep brown hue. The tiny laugh wrinkles around the corners of his eyes and his eyelashes—things previously hidden behind his lenses—were all captured within Arzen’s gaze.

“Now I know. That pity isn’t exclusively a bad thing.”

There was a certain charisma to Arzen as he spoke while gazing into Elliot’s eyes. An intense, undeniable intangible force gripped Elliot’s line of sight and held it fast.

“That some forms of pity are noble and sacred.”

With those words, Arzen slowly closed his eyes. No further words followed, but Elliot fought off his drowsiness and quietly watched over Arzen.

Quietly, until Arzen’s breathing gradually grew rhythmic and slow.

Strangely enough, with each lengthening of that breath, the hatred residing inside Elliot seemed to melt away and vanish.

He could finally understand why his father had watched over him while he slept. His father hadn’t merely stayed by his side until Lim Seongsik fell asleep for the boy’s sake; he had guarded that spot for his own sake as well.

The act of gazing upon someone sleeping so peacefully as if nothing terrible could ever happen in this world.

“This feels much better….”

Elliot closed his eyes, breathing in time with Arzen’s rhythm.

When Elliot woke up the next day, Arzen was already gone. It seemed Elliot had overslept. However, sitting in the spot where Arzen had lain was a single envelope.

In his half-asleep daze, wondering if it was a letter for Loran, Elliot opened the envelope, and his eyes immediately grew wide.

{ To Elliot Brown,

I hope your mood has improved.

I will prepare something other than a sapling for you by today.

See you tonight.

Arzen Teron }

It was a note far too short to be called a letter. But it was unquestionably tucked inside the envelope and written in Arzen’s exceptionally exquisite signature handwriting.

The corners of Elliot’s lips twitched and shot upward. A flush began to spread across his rounded cheeks, and the tips of his ears turned as red as if they had caught the sunlight.

His eyes remained fixed on the final sentence.

See you tonight.

It sounded less like something spoken to a bedchamber attendant and more like words meant for a friend or family member. Or perhaps, a lover.

Elliot took a long breath in and let it out, then folded the letter back up and tucked it neatly inside the envelope. Afterward, finding the jacket draped over his chair, he slid it deep into his inner chest pocket.

By now, even the single grain of lingering resentment toward Arzen had completely vanished without a trace of pride.

Even later that afternoon, after stopping by Cafe Seiren and seeing Arzen’s reply that had arrived for Loran, Elliot’s mood reached its absolute peak.

{ To Loran Pedet,

No veterinarian known.

Heal it yourself.

Arzen Teron }

It was a thoughtless, insincere reply where he couldn’t even fathom why Arzen had bothered writing it in the first place.

‘The reply sent to the letter I wrote turns out like this, yet why am I in such a good mood….’

Elliot pulled out the letter he had stashed in his inner chest pocket. That letter, too, was brief in content, but it held a distinctly different emotion compared to the one sent to Loran.

Smiling to himself and about to slide the letter back into his pocket, Elliot felt something bulky brush against his hand beneath the letter, prompting him to pull it out. What he drew out from his inner chest pocket with his hand was a dirty, crumpled handkerchief.

Elliot stared at that handkerchief for a moment before making up his mind.

He resolved to wash it clean and, this time without fail, hand it directly over to Arzen.

For some reason, it felt as though the current Arzen would gladly accept this gift.

“Today’s choice is a lemon tea made from lemons famous in the Kosas region.”

Slide.

“Since you enjoyed it so deliciously at Cafe Seiren the other day, I prepared it as lemon tea today.”

Slide.

“It’s hot, so please drink carefully~”

Slide.

“What is it?”

“Pardon?”

“You’ve been glancing sideways at me this whole time.”

At Arzen’s pointed remark, Elliot flinched and lowered his gaze.

“A-Apologies.”

“It’s not an apology I’m asking for….”

Arzen let out a short sigh and flicked his finger.

“Speak.”

“W-What might you be referring to, Grand Duke?”

“The reason you keep spying on me.”

Arzen acted like a man who already knew the correct answer. A shadow fell across his silvery-gray eyes.

That expression was quite familiar to Elliot as well. Whenever Lim Seongsik would tentatively start with, “Boss, there’s something I’d like to tell you….,” it was the exact expression bosses would momentarily wear. It seemed Arzen was worried that Elliot might announce he was quitting his job.

Oh well, screw it.

Elliot drew out a neatly folded white handkerchief from his inner chest pocket. It was a handkerchief reborn after Elliot hand-washed it, dried it in the sunlight, and starched and ironed it himself. It was also a luxury handkerchief worth thirty gold coins.

“Here….”

Since he had always lived with nothing and this was his first time giving someone a proper gift like this, Elliot stammered and trailed off at the end.

Arzen looked down at the handkerchief Elliot was holding out as if finding it unexpected. By the time he finally accepted the handkerchief, Elliot’s entire face was burning hot.

“Is this for me?”

“Yes, yes.”

Elliot fixed his gaze on the tips of Arzen’s shoes and bobbed his head up and down rapidly. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to look Arzen straight in the eye.

A lukewarm silence hung in the air for a moment. Arzen rubbed the textured embroidered portion of the handkerchief with his thumb.

“A spell-bound handkerchief, I see.”

“Yes, yes… pardon?”

Though he had bought it at an illegal magic shop on hemp street, he had assumed it was just an ordinary handkerchief. Given the circumstances, though, assuming it had magic woven into it was the normal train of thought—why on earth hadn’t that thought crossed his mind?

“Seeing as you bought it without knowing a thing, you must have been forced into a purchase by that old hag.”

“It’s not like that, but….”

“It’s a handkerchief meant to invoke the safety of the person carrying it. While there isn’t any actual protective magic woven into it, it’s infused with a touch of simple luck magic, making it a quite popular item among lovers.”

“L-L-Lo-Lo…!”

It was a word shocking enough to make the world go white. Elliot quickly corrected himself.

“I, I was forced into the purchase, Grand Duke! I positively did not buy it of my own volition!”