PAHO 54

After rinsing his mouth three or four times with cold water, the queasiness in his stomach finally subsided. The warm meal out, lavishly prepared with carefully selected, high-quality ingredients from tomatoes to cheese, tasted excellent, but it seemed to have been a wretched luxury for a throat accustomed to cheap fare.

He could have just pushed it away and said he wouldn’t eat, but because his life had been lived at the bottom, a pointless gluttony had become a habit for Nam Gyeonhwa, and he preferred not to leave any food that was portioned out for him, no matter the circumstances. On top of that, Nam Haejin was watching, so in an effort to not create a cold atmosphere, he had put whatever was placed on his plate, be it pizza or french fries, into his mouth, which seemed to have irritated his stomach.

Moreover, it was pizza. Unlike Nam Haejin, who loved anything made with bread, he was not particularly fond of Western food where flour was the main ingredient. The pizza or hamburgers he occasionally bought and ate like a special treat were only to suit Nam Haejin’s picky palate in an attempt to help him gain weight, and even sandwiches were just chosen for their price as a simple, decent meal. No matter how masterfully it was made, it only brought back memories of being force-fed expired manufactured hamburgers and frozen pizzas to the point of sickness during his training in Yanggang.

He was rubbing his bloated solar plexus alone when, by the time the long-awaited jelly-covered ice cream arrived, he had to get up from his seat to cool the cold sweat beading on the back of his neck.

“Ugh…”

Leaning his face close to the mirror and pulling down his lower lip, he saw a canker sore had broken out, red and raw, deep inside. No wonder it had stung when he brushed his teeth in the morning. It was the aftermath of forgoing sleep for nearly four nights, spending his time thoroughly exploring the nearby geography, including jogging.

When he was in Mangmae, he could manage with little sleep, but since coming to Nakdo, there were so many things to worry about that his stamina seemed to be dropping as well. He should have feigned ignorance and asked for an IV drip when Yeo Eunjae, who had noticed his pale complexion even while he was suffering from a hangover, had asked if he was sick. Who would have known that his stomach would turn just from forcing down a few slices of pizza? Even if he didn’t consciously recognize he was tired, his body was steadily proving he was overworked.

The one silver lining was Na Taebeom’s attitude, which was more affable than expected. Although he had been unreasonable and unilaterally forced into the meal, he had served the fresh food to Haejin first and, without being asked, ordered orange juice, sterilized milk, and sparkling water, letting him choose what to drink. Not only that, but he hadn’t frowned once upon seeing his mouth smeared with tomato sauce, and had even added a compliment about him eating better than he looked. He had the impression of someone who would find children annoying, if not outright dislike them, so it was an unexpected side to him.

Then again, a person couldn’t be entirely rough all the time. For him, that was a good thing. Nam Gyeonhwa, brushing back his damp hair, straightened up with a sigh. In the mirror before him, a figure was clearly reflected.

“What are you doing? The ice cream is going to melt.”

“…”

The moment he confirmed it was Na Taebeom, Nam Gyeonhwa swallowed a groan. His already startled stomach lurched, as he hadn’t sensed his presence, but not a single trace of it showed on his face.

“You two eat. I don’t need to have any ice cream.”

“Why?”

“…I’m not a big fan of sweets.”

It wasn’t that he hated them, but his mouth was thoroughly sensitive from having thrown up just a moment ago.

The space between the luxurious dark brown wooden floor and the unremarkable white-tiled entryway was like a boundary dividing territories. Na Taebeom, who had been leaning against the doorway, crossed that thin gap in a single stride. Nam Gyeonhwa, feigning ignorance of his approaching footsteps, pulled out a paper towel.

Despite there being four empty spots, Na Taebeom deliberately chose to stand next to Nam Gyeonhwa and turned on the water. The sound of water gushing from the faucet filled the void of silence. It felt like a distant, alien noise, and his body grew inexplicably chilly, causing him to rub his arms without realizing it.

Wait a minute. If Na Taebeom was away from the table too, then Haejin must be alone right now. Nam Gyeonhwa, who had been standing blankly, turned to look outside. Suddenly, Na Taebeom’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm as it moved impatiently. The force was brutish, like snatching a falling object.

“If you’re worried about the kid, Mason is taking good care of him. That guy, despite how he looks, has four kids, so he’s good at watching them.”

The voice that informed him of the situation outside was leisurely, yet it sounded like a command restricting his actions. Na Taebeom pulled the arm he held and turned him back to his original spot. Nam Gyeonhwa pulled his wrist free and looked at the carefree face reflected in the mirror.

“…Why did you come here?”

“Do I need some grand reason to come into a bathroom?”

As he said, one didn’t need a grand reason to go in and out of a bathroom. However, he could at least tell that this wasn’t the look of someone who had just come to wash his hands and casually fix his hair.

“You have something to say.”

That must be why he was blocking his way out and standing stubbornly beside him. Na Taebeom, who had smirked, filled a paper cup to the brim with the provided mouthwash, gargled noisily, and spit it out with gusto. Perhaps due to the minty sensation, his wet lips were red.

“Are you always such a light eater, or is the food I buy you not to your liking?”

“What…?”

“What’s with the dumb ‘what’? I’m asking if you’re a light eater.”

“…I’m not.”

“If you’re not, then why can’t you even properly eat what I give you and throw it all up?”

Leaning on the sink, he straightened his back and stared intently at Nam Gyeonhwa. His face was chillingly cold, something more eerie than simple annoyance. Nam Gyeonhwa took a breath against the uncomfortable tension and opened his mouth.

“I’ve never thought it wasn’t to my liking. I threw up just because my stomach was a little upset.”

Seeing his still-displeased face, he swallowed a sigh and spat out the words he had been holding back and mumbling.

“…Thank you.”

At those words, the frown on Na Taebeom’s face faded.

“I’m grateful, sincerely. It would be more than enough for me if you just did what I asked, but you gave me a place to live, and taking Haejin out to eat like you did just now, I’m grateful for all of it.”

It wasn’t just empty words made up to please him. Nam Gyeonhwa was clearly aware that he was indebted to Na Taebeom for at least a few things. Although there was a bit of coercion involved, he had objectively provided a decent living environment, and he had also arranged for someone to look after Nam Haejin in Nam Gyeonhwa’s absence. Even beasts know to repay kindness, and he had no intention whatsoever of ignoring each and every one of those acts of help.

“What else? Anything else?”

“Else…?”

“Just saying thank you with words is a bit… it’s all just empty words, it’s not very moving.”

Na Taebeom, who wiped his mouth with a paper towel, straightened his slanted posture.

“It doesn’t have to be anything grand, but shouldn’t you show some kind of sincerity to build mutual trust?”

“What kind of sincerity are you looking for?”

“You know, what you’re good at.”

Even with the vague designation “what you’re good at,” Nam Gyeonhwa instantly read the implied meaning. No, he couldn’t avoid the gaze glinting with unholy interest, even if he pretended not to know.

Haejin, who had been dozing off in the car from a food coma, couldn’t be easily woken even when they arrived in front of the house. Nam Gyeonhwa soothed the whining Haejin, who insisted he wasn’t sleepy, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and changed him into his pajamas.

“I’m really not sleepy…”

“If you’re still not sleepy after counting to one hundred, you can come out and read a book.”

At those words, Haejin finally crawled quietly under the covers and, while yawning, chattered about the fun things he did that day. He said the house where cowboys live was amazing, the pizza was delicious, and the ice cream looked exactly like the picture, which was fascinating. Mason, the owner of the pizza parlor, was moved by his enthusiastic reaction and showed Haejin pictures of the three cats he raised at home, promising to let him play with them if he came to visit. The child, steeped in simple happiness, coughed lightly for a moment but didn’t seem to be in pain.

As soon as he had carefully drawn the blackout curtains, the sound of soft, even breathing began to flow out. Nam Gyeonhwa took one look around the dark house and then slowly went outside. His face, as he walked through the alley bathed in a hazy light like the evening glow, was pale as if tinged with melancholy.

Nam Gyeonhwa descended the quiet slope and finally stopped in front of a car standing steadfast under a streetlight. The car door was open. Na Taebeom, who was leaning deep into the seatback and fiddling with his phone, raised his head, and their eyes met.

“Did you get him to sleep well?”

“…”

Without another word, Nam Gyeonhwa got into the car. At the gesture that seemed to be an effort to appear composed, Na Taebeom tossed his phone toward the passenger seat, got out of the car, and sat down in the back. Even though the wide, spacious seat could comfortably fit about three adult men, his vision immediately felt cramped as the rock-like body entered his direct line of sight.

“Aren’t you going… to the Uiyeonggwan?”

“No need to go far. Just do it here.”

Na Taebeom pointed downward with his eyes, designating ‘here’. At the expressed intention to do it in the car, Nam Gyeonhwa bit his lip. Na Taebeom, letting out a smirk, shrugged.

“Aren’t you all prepared anyway? It took quite a while for you to just put the kid to bed.”

It was an accurate guess.

“And besides, I prefer doing it in a car over a bed.”

He himself couldn’t tell whether he should consider it a misjudgment to have washed up beforehand just in case, or if he should be relieved. Na Taebeom, watching his heavy expression, moved closer. His hand touched the tip of his chin, and his thumb gently pressed down on his lower lip.

“I’ve been curious for a while, are you a good kisser too?”