PUPPY 76

“An explanation?”

An ice-cold voice flowed from Seowoo’s lips. Having left his family and Lee Yerin behind, Juwon called Seowoo’s name.

“Seowoo.”

“…You said you were on a business trip.”

Juwon’s steps, which had been moving toward Seowoo, came to a halt. As if his feet had taken root, Juwon stood in place, unable to move. It was because he fully understood how this situation must look to Seowoo.

“I’m truly sorry for not telling you the truth.”

“……”

At Juwon’s words, Seowoo didn’t answer, but simply looked back and forth between Lee Yerin and Juwon’s family, who were standing behind him. Juwon, noticing where Seowoo’s gaze was directed, spoke urgently.

“What you’re thinking right now. It’s a misunderstanding.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking.”

Seowoo wasn’t one to have a wide range of emotions, so he had never been this angry with someone close to him before. His voice grew steadily lower and colder, but his agitated heart was beyond his control, as his once-calm breathing became increasingly rough.

“…It was my fault, no excuses, for lying that my parents were on a business trip, but Yerin.”

Yerin.

At the name spoken without a surname, Seowoo bit his lip and glared resentfully at Juwon. He thought Juwon had called only him “Seowoo” so affectionately, but in truth, that had been his own delusion. He felt something hot surge up from the bottom of his throat. Seowoo, feeling not just sad but wronged, looked directly at Juwon and spoke.

“Did you just want my body?”

The eyes of Juwon’s family and Lee Yerin, who had been silently watching the two argue, widened into circles. Juwon’s parents called his name in a stern voice, “Cha Juwon.” But the two paid no attention to the others’ reactions.

“Don’t contact me.”

Seowoo said, averting his gaze from Juwon. His once-cold voice was now laced with moisture. His words, “don’t contact me,” sounded like a final goodbye.

“Seowoo, contact is….”

Before Juwon could finish his sentence, Seowoo abruptly held out both hands. Cupping Juwon’s cheeks, Seowoo stood on his tiptoes. Then, he tilted his head and pressed his lips to Juwon’s twice, making a smack—, smack—, sound.

“Today’s quota. All filled, right?”

Seowoo pulled his lips away without any lingering attachment and wiped them with his sleeve. Picking up the trash bag that had fallen to the ground, Seowoo left with the words, “Don’t follow me.” Then, he bowed his head deeply to Juwon’s parents before leaving the spot.

It was as if a fierce storm had just swept through. Lee Yerin, who was staring at the dazed Juwon, whispered to herself, “Holy crap, that was crazy….” In contrast, Juwon’s older sister, Cha Hyewon, crossed her arms and shook her head from side to side.

“So tired of this. Gay lovers’ quarrels.”

She looked quite accustomed to this kind of situation.

🦴

He wanted to just slam the trash on the ground, but he couldn’t. After properly disposing of the trash, Seowoo returned home with a tearful face. His grandfather, who was standing in the yard, looked at him with a puzzled expression, but Seowoo couldn’t even bring himself to say he was okay as a mere pleasantry.

Entering the small room, Seowoo couldn’t even make it to the bed and sank to the floor, whispering.

“My head hurts….”

It was a type of pain he was experiencing for the first time in his life. It was hard to tell if his head hurt or if his heart hurt. He had thought that a hurting heart was just a conceptual thing, but he felt an illusion of actual pain. As Seowoo sat curled up, he was needlessly tugging at the t-shirt near his chest.

Knock knock

A knocking sound came from the door he was leaning against. When Seowoo opened the door slightly, he could see his grandfather through the crack.

“Grandfather?”

As Seowoo answered, clearing his choked-up throat, his grandfather’s eyes wavered. When Seowoo properly lifted his head, he saw Juwon standing behind his grandfather.

“Seowoo, your friend….”

“My boyfriend….”

“Right, Seowoo, that… your boyfriend is here.”

Juwon’s voice was listless, as if he were repenting. Even so, he was correcting his grandfather, calling himself a “boyfriend” and not just a “friend.” Seowoo, who had been listening silently, frowned and looked at Juwon as he replied.

“I have nothing to say to Cha Juwon.”

Slam—, Seowoo’s bedroom door closed. A clear line had been drawn between the two.

“…Seowoo.”

Juwon, who had been standing behind the grandfather, quickly stepped forward. He then opened his palm and carefully placed it on the door. He felt as though he could sense Seowoo’s presence behind the thin door.

Next to Juwon stood Seowoo’s grandfather with a troubled expression. The situation between the two seemed serious, but seeing Juwon’s face, which looked like he was holding back tears, he couldn’t rashly ask any questions. Clicking his tongue briefly, Seowoo’s grandfather offered Juwon words of comfort.

“I think you should go. It seems Seowoo isn’t feeling well.”

At his grandfather’s words, Juwon just stared at Seowoo’s door. The firmly shut door showed no signs of opening.

“…Yes. I’m sorry for the late hour.”

Seowoo’s grandfather watched the back of the dejected Juwon as he walked away.

He was tall and his body was muscular like an athlete’s, but seeing him like this, it occurred to him that he was indeed the same age as Seowoo.

“Seowoo, get some good rest.”

After confirming that even his grandfather’s footsteps had completely faded away, Seowoo flopped face down onto the bed. When he squeezed his eyes shut, a tangled mass of complicated emotions surged up violently from within. Feeling a sting at the tip of his nose, Seowoo scrubbed at the corners of his eyes with his sleeve.

Lying curled up on the bed, Seowoo picked up his cell phone. When he tapped on the gallery, it was full of pictures of the two of them. He saw a selfie they had taken with their faces pressed so close together that their cheeks were squished. Swiping the screen to the side revealed a picture of Juwon kissing Seowoo’s cheek. Seowoo’s hand, which had been expressionlessly flipping through the photos, stopped at one picture.

It was a photo of him and Juwon holding hands. Juwon’s large hand, with veins bulging on the back, completely enveloped Seowoo’s slender, long fingers. It was a picture they had taken just a week ago after finishing a walk together, making a promise to ‘never let go of each other’s hands.’

‘Liar….’

Biting his lower lip hard, Seowoo opened an SNS app. He sat up properly and uploaded a photo. He changed a sparkling picture, taken on a sunny day, to black and white, and then left a meaningful caption.

The time we spent together was…?

As soon as he uploaded the photo, his friends started leaving comments like “???” He saw that a message had come from Juwon, but Seowoo just placed his phone face down. Right now, he didn’t have the energy to give any kind of reply, not only to Juwon but also to the lighthearted questions from his friends.

In the dark room, Seowoo’s eyes, as he lay on his side on the bed, instantly grew moist, and tears began to fall in drops.

The next day.

Seowoo woke up early in the morning. No, he hadn’t slept comfortably all night, and after tossing and turning, had merely forced his eyes open. After changing into his school uniform and finishing his preparations for school, Seowoo slung his bag over his shoulder and left the house. At this early hour, the dawn sky was still bluish. Seowoo, opening the main gate, looked toward Juwon’s house.

The image of Juwon’s parents and Lee Yerin standing together, talking cheerfully, came to mind again. Standing blankly in the alley, Seowoo erased the haunting afterimage in his head and started walking to school. He didn’t know how long he could avoid Juwon, but right now, he didn’t have the courage to face him.

Seowoo let out a small sigh. He knew it was a pathetic thing to do, but Seowoo kept comparing himself to Lee Yerin. He knew it was an act of self-deprecation, but he couldn’t stop the thoughts. Unlike Lee Yerin, who always seemed confident, Seowoo himself had a timid and avoidant personality.

Once again, the image of Yerin standing naturally among Juwon’s family surfaced in his mind. It hadn’t been long since he had been on a happy date with Juwon, but it felt like a distant, far-off past.

🦴

Arriving at school early in the dawn, Seowoo solved problems in his workbook, sighing deeply over and over. He couldn’t concentrate, so his pace was much slower than usual. Even while his friends arrived and joked around and chattered in the classroom, Seowoo continued to solve problems with a somber expression. Class was about to start, but Juwon had yet to show up.

Just then, the back door opened with a rough sound, and someone entered the classroom. Without turning around, Seowoo could tell who had come in. Juwon’s presence, now close by, weighed down on Seowoo. As Seowoo put down the pen he was holding with a clack, Juwon called his name.

“Seowoo.”

“……”

“Seowoo, talk to me for a bit.”

The cold air flowing between the two made even the friends nearby freeze as if they had broken down. With wavering eyes, Kim Dongwon and Yang Juhyeon looked back and forth between Seowoo and Juwon.

“…I have nothing to say to you.”

“Seowoo.”

As if he only knew how to say Seowoo’s name, Juwon called to Seowoo again. But Seowoo blatantly ignored his gaze.