IMPRINT 53

So, what exactly am I raising?

“I’ve… never raised an Esper before.”

“Then are you planning to bring an Esper other than me into this house? Did I do something wrong? Because I troubled Teacher last night… because I acted so pathetically, do you dislike me now?”

I couldn’t even respond to Kang Juha’s words, which poured out like rapid-fire. To Kang Juha… what exactly am I? What kind of existence?

A doctor who treats him, or a person in charge of protecting his sick self. Or perhaps the “Teacher” title he uses as he pleases… he was pulling vague titles from here and there to call me, but in truth, there was no word anywhere in this world that could be attached to this relationship.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. And I don’t dislike you.”

Just what were we talking about to end up here?

Tracing my thoughts back slowly, this conversation was triggered by the way Kang Juha snapped up and ate the food I gave him without a second thought.

“I just meant that I’d like Mr. Kang Juha to judge for himself a bit more and stay on guard. I have no intention of actually feeding Mr. Kang Juha poison.”

“…I wouldn’t want to eat it, but if Teacher told me to eat it, I think I would.”

“Poison?”

“Yes.”

No, this man is saying something truly dangerous.

“Are you serious?”

Even though I might have to live in prison for the rest of my life on charges of poisoning an existence called the very defense power of South Korea and South Korea’s Alpha?

“Yes. That is what I thought and judged.”

“This is driving me crazy.”

It seemed Kang Juha didn’t understand my words at all. I wondered if I should explain human dignity and the right to self-determination, but then I decided against it, wondering if this absurd thought would really last a lifetime.

Surely a day will come when he realizes it on his own. Right now, it’s just a mishap caused by him putting me into the gaps where his memories aren’t intact.

One day, the moment would surely come when Kang Juha recalls what he said and kicks his blankets in embarrassment. I won’t be by his side then anyway, and perhaps I might have lost all memories of him. Either way, I felt it wasn’t a problem for me to worry about right now.

Ding-dong, ding-dong—

Just then, the doorbell rang at the entrance. Simultaneously, Kang Juha’s face hardened fiercely, and he approached me, grabbing my shoulders with all his might. A small groan leaked from my lips at his grip strength.

“Ah… why all of a sudden?”

“By any chance, did I just eat poison? Is that why the color was like that? Because there was poison inside?”

“Yes? What are you talking about?”

“The one outside, is it the new Esper you’re bringing in after throwing me away?”

“…”

Just what kind of misunderstanding and delusion had he fallen into? I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t even manage my expression.

“It’s Secretary Park.”

“Ah.”

“I failed at making lunch, so I asked him to bring us some lunch.”

“…Ah.”

“And I want to ask one thing…”

There it was again. That face like a puppy that caused trouble.

On the only animal variety program I genuinely enjoy, big dogs would often make that kind of expression after stealing and eating sweet potatoes behind their owner’s back. That was the first time I learned that dogs have expressions too.

“Did you think my food was poisoned?”

“…”

“Was it that terrible? And yet you kept cramming it down?”

“…I’ll go get the lunch.”

Seeing the man who usually wouldn’t spare a glance whether Secretary Park called him or not now running to the entrance, claiming he’d take the lead in greeting him, a sigh escaped me involuntarily.

Setting aside that my food was that terrible, my mind became complicated at the fact that he had emptied more than half of such terrible-tasting food. Because the current Kang Juha really seemed like he would flip his belly over at a single word from me.

No, wait, he’s already done similar things a few times. He even did something similar at dawn, so moving on…

I was worried that at this rate, instead of just pretending to die when I tell him to, he might actually die.

When I went back out to the living room, Kang Juha was holding a paper bag containing porridge. Juyoung was nowhere to be seen.

“What about Secretary Park?”

“I sent him away immediately. Since you said he came to bring lunch.”

No, even if that was his business, Secretary Park isn’t a delivery driver. You just sent him away like that? Suddenly, I had become a wicked boss who recklessly orders around a subordinate.

…Well, is it that different from usual?

I took the paper bag and pulled out the packaged porridge. Meanwhile, Kang Juha disappeared into the kitchen to get bowls and spoons, saying he’d set the table.

I pulled out a bag of candy tucked under the container of porridge and set it roughly on the floor. Since my sense of taste was already dull, I couldn’t eat candy and then eat a meal.

“If your stomach feels uncomfortable or nauseous, tell me. I’ll get you some medicine or something.”

I’ve never heard of Espers suffering from indigestion either, but that’s strictly when eating normal food. There were no cases yet of eating something questionable as to whether it could even be called food.

In the past, I heard a story about an Esper who was isolated in a Gate and survived for 165 days by chewing and eating unidentified plants growing in the Gate. It was a record that remained like a legend because he showed amazing survivability even when his guiding was completely depleted.

At that time, when the Esper was rescued, a trace of a guiding component was detected in the plant he was clutching tightly in his hand, which caused a stir in the academic world.

Originally, opinions had been divided in various academic circles about whether the birth of Espers came first or the birth of Gates. Thanks to that case, the opinion that the birth of Gates came first gained a bit more weight.

There is also a survival biography written by that Esper himself, but it was used as an educational book in the past but is no longer used because it is a repetition of horrific content and reflects excessively depressed emotions.

Of course, I read it all.

While reading the 600-page book during my undergraduate years, I was appalled by the survivability of Espers, but on the other hand, I had this thought.

Ah, it’s not even easy for an Esper to die.

If it were me, even if I were isolated there for just a week, I would have thought, “Ah, I think I can die now,” but 165 days. Isn’t that nearly half a year? How on earth did he survive alone in a barren Gate for that time? There couldn’t be another person like that…

“There is.”

The legendary Esper who survived for half a year in a Gate and an Anti-Alliance base was right in front of my eyes.

“What is there?”

Kang Juha, who was naturally placing a side dish of braised beef on top of my spoon, tilted his head.

“I just realized anew how amazing Esper Kang Juha is for coming back alive after half a year.”

“It wasn’t particularly my will. I thought I was already dead. Ah, no. If it weren’t for Teacher, I really would have died.”

Hearing those words, I recalled his wretched appearance when he first arrived at the center, so disastrous that it wouldn’t have been strange if he died right then.

“You endured because it was you, Mr. Kang Juha. Other Espers couldn’t do that.”

It was a fact without the slightest exaggeration. Thinking back to how a surge of nausea hit me when I first looked into Kang Juha’s brain, I thought he had managed to hold onto his life quite well in that state.

If I had been in the same situation as him, I would have let go of my will to live in less than a week. Rather than suffering through pain of which the end was unknown in a place without hope or anything, I would have judged that ending my life would be more beneficial.

In that sense, a curiosity remained as to what made Kang Juha live. He has no family and no lover, so what made him want to live so much?

༘⋆

After finishing the meal, Kang Juha volunteered to do the dishes first. In fact, since coming here, simple dishwashing had all been his responsibility. Cleaning, too. Ah, and the laundry as well.

Come to think of it, I’ve been using him almost like a housekeeper.

My conscience pricked me a little, but I had never once asked or forced him. Kang Juha had stepped forward to do it all himself. And I had simply not declined it.

Honestly, there wouldn’t be a person in this world who would stop someone else from doing the housework for them.

For the record, the porridge—which was poison-free but also tasteless—was disposed of due to my strong insistence. I don’t know why I had to insist so strongly on something like that, but because Kang Juha kept saying he would eat it, we had an unwanted scuffle for over 10 minutes.

No, I really can’t understand why he would try to put this piece of junk in the refrigerator and then take it out to eat it later.

“No, are you really that disappointed? I just threw away something inedible!”

No matter what I said, Kang Juha didn’t even spare a glance and pulled the corners of his mouth downward. Yet, the sight of him faithfully putting on rubber gloves and doing the dishes was somehow absurd yet cute.

“…It’s the first food Teacher made for me.”

“I’m grateful you even call that food, but I don’t really want to acknowledge it as food. If there’s a chance, I’ll make you real food next time. Though I don’t know when that will be.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Really.”

In that instant, his hardened face melted away like a lie, and he smiled at me.

Huh?

“Your mood softened again just because of that?”

“Yes.”

“Sigh… I really can’t figure you out.”

I didn’t have the slightest clue what the point was.