SPW 16

Staring down at the black screen, Sarang covered his face with one hand and let out a small sigh.

‘Forget the identity verification and all that, the Football Association wants a picture of you and Florian returning to the country together. If this doesn’t work out properly, who knows what will happen with you joining the national team… I’m so sorry, Sarang.’

Sarang tried his best to respond calmly and bravely to the head coach’s apology, even though it wasn’t his fault. But for Sarang, things looked just as bleak. Sarang joining the national team had been a hot topic in Korea since he became eligible to participate in A-matches early this year. Collin had told him not to be swayed by the noisy chatter around him, that if he got the call, he’d go, and if he didn’t, he should just keep working hard until he did.

Half a year passed like that, and after Collin died from illness in July, from Matthew Kaia to Florian… in just a few days, Sarang’s life had been turned upside down. He barely managed to find his footing, but Sarang was still a child. A child dropped into the world all alone. Trying to calm his newly anxious heart, Sarang rolled a soccer ball around before looking down at his phone again.

‘The Football Association wants a picture of you and Florian returning to the country together.’

Would Florian allow himself to be used for something like that?

He probably wouldn’t like it.

Faced with a problem he didn’t even know existed when Collin was around, Sarang honestly didn’t know what to do. Originally, the Football Association was supposed to verify his identity, but he never expected them to change their minds like this. The same people who had argued for and against Sarang joining the age-group national teams were still not readily acknowledging him now that he was eligible for A-matches. Some criticized it as noise marketing, while others relentlessly condemned it as a premium given to an overseas league player.

Collin had told him to just let the winds blowing from the outside pass by. He said that the more you reacted, the stronger the wind would become, turning into a storm. And then, he had faced that wind himself.

‘Collin… I miss you.’

Muttering softly, Sarang tossed the soccer ball aside and touched his phone screen.

Florian Dietrich Wellington.

No order had been set for the new name in his contact list.

Number 1 was Collin.

From number 2 onwards, no one had been assigned.

‘Sarang, of course I’ll allow it. You can come find me anytime.’

But that permission probably wasn’t for something like this.

Sarang stared at Florian’s name for a long time, organizing his thoughts. Then he slowly began to compose a message.

Hello, Florian. It’s Sarang.

He wrote that much, then,

Hello, Florian.

He deleted the second line. Then again.

Hello, Florian. I’m sorry to contact you so late at night

He wrote that far and thought, ‘It’s only 7 p.m., it’s not late at night,’ so he deleted it again.

Hello, Florian. It’s Sarang. Excuse me, but could you spare a moment?

After writing that much, Sarang deleted it again and clutched his hair, letting out a groan.

No matter what he wrote, it felt awkward and embarrassing. Wouldn’t this kind of request be rude? If he committed a rude act, Florian would get angry. He didn’t seem like a person who was just kind, after all. If he got angry… it would be scary. No, what Sarang was afraid of wasn’t Florian getting angry.

It was Florian getting tired or annoyed with taking care of a child and abandoning him. Of course, with two contracts in place, he wouldn’t easily quit being his guardian, but being abandoned wasn’t just about that. It was about him remaining a guardian in name only, not giving Sarang a second glance or any attention. Then forgetting Sarang’s existence until the guardianship contract ended, and one day, randomly remembering and thinking, ‘Right, that happened,’ as a final word before completely erasing him from his life. That’s what being abandoned was.

Why am I afraid of being abandoned by Florian? Whenever this fear crept in, Sarang felt Collin’s absence even more acutely.

Why is it so hard to even send a single text message that I’m struggling like this?

This was the second time he was messaging him, but for some reason, it was harder than the first.

Probably because he had to ask for a favor. To Florian, it was something so trivial that being asked for it was probably rude in itself, but to Sarang, it was more important than anything.

‘Forget the identity verification and all that, the Football Association wants a picture of you and Florian returning to the country together. If this doesn’t work out properly, who knows what will happen with you joining the national team… I’m so sorry, Sarang.’

‘Sarang, of course I’ll allow it. You can come find me anytime.’

When he was playing soccer, Sarang didn’t think too much. If he lost, he lost, and if he won, he won. If he lost, he would monitor and review the game. If he won, he would still monitor it and research ways to do better. That was all. He tried not to carry the frustration of a loss or the feeling of having the world in his hands after a win into the next day.

It was Collin who had raised Sarang that way. He shouldered everything himself so that Sarang wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Only now realizing the extent of Collin’s sacrifice, Sarang rubbed his reddened eyes and started writing the message again.

Hello, Florian. It’s Sarang. Can I see you now?

He wrote and deleted it over and over again, but in the end, Sarang sent a message that hadn’t changed much and took a deep breath, feeling as if he couldn’t breathe for no reason.

“Huh.”

Even before he could finish his deep breath, his phone lit up, startling Sarang so much that he almost dropped it. Before Sarang could even think, the phone displayed a message in the middle of the screen.

If you call me Lian.

Is what he’s called that important to this person?

Stunned by the unexpected reply, Sarang stared blankly at the text and touched the screen before it went dark.

「If you call me Lian.」

Is this also a way to prevent the misunderstanding many people have that the guardianship is a smokescreen?

From Mr. Wellington to Florian. From Florian to Lian.

Changing what he was called didn’t make their relationship closer, but to outsiders, it would surely look close enough. But there was no need to do this in a private message between just the two of them… Thinking that, Sarang touched the screen as if possessed.

Lian.

After typing the single name, Sarang hesitated for a long time before composing the message again.

Lian. Can I see you now?

A reply came back right away again.

For some reason, Sarang’s heart pounded.

I’m in a meeting, so it’s a little difficult, Sarang.

Ah.

Only then did he remember Florian’s schedule, which was said to be so busy he couldn’t even imagine it.

Then when do you have time…

Before he could even finish composing the message, another one came from Florian.

Lisa will help you go out, Sarang. Dan will guide you to where I am.

“…”

Sarang, his eyes wide, stared at the text for a long while before firmly pressing the screen.

Now?

Yes, now.

Florian’s replies were very fast. Although they had only exchanged messages twice, he seemed to be the type to reply as soon as he checked a message. He didn’t know if it was because he was a businessman or if that was just his personality.

Thank you. Lian.

Anytime, Sarang.

After checking the message, Sarang unknowingly gripped his phone tightly and flopped—back onto the bed. When he pressed his clenched hands to his chest, he could feel his heart thumping, thumping, thumping, beating abnormally fast. As if he had just finished a sprint (a burst of speed, a technique where a soccer player uses sudden acceleration to participate in offense and defense).

What’s wrong with me?

Unable to calm his racing heart, Sarang turned onto his side and buried his now-warm face into the soft sheets. The sheets smelled of fabric softener. A scent. Florian… What scent would Lian’s pheromones have?

As a dominant omega, Florian was probably very skilled at controlling his pheromones. It wouldn’t have been difficult for him to find a partner for his heat, so he probably wouldn’t have let his pheromones leak in unwanted situations. As such, it was common sense to reveal one’s pheromone scent only in very intimate relationships. Therefore, imagining and being curious about another’s pheromone scent was a great rudeness.

Coming to his senses, Sarang shook his head, chasing the blossoming curiosity far out of his mind. In the meantime, Lisa knocked—knock, knock—and opened the door to enter. Without a hint of being bothered by the trouble this evening, she helped Sarang get ready to go out. Sarang was almost flustered by her enthusiasm as she so actively helped him prepare.