TCGAD 9

“Grrrr.”

The male beast bared its jaws and growled at me. The reins were clearly tied to the carriage, but I couldn’t tell when they had come loose. Seeing one of the heads biting a muzzle in its mouth, it seemed they had torn at each other’s with their teeth. Given Cerberus’s intelligence, it didn’t seem like a calculated move—more like a stroke of luck from thrashing about in frustration.

The important thing, though, was that I was completely screwed.

Sticky saliva dripped through the muzzle. With three mouths secreting at once, the amount was no joke.

If it were just trying to bite me, that would be better, but…

“…Don’t come closer.”

The dripping organ told a different story. It was a horrifying sight.

“I said don’t come!”

A massive front paw closed the distance without hesitation. I glared at the pooling saliva and stepped back. Soon, my back hit a hard wall.

A brief silence followed. The tense quiet, ready to snap at any moment, was broken by me first. I widened my eyes, looking over the beast’s heads.

“Huh?”

The beast whipped its head around, following my gaze. While it was distracted, I quickly scraped the ground. The moment it looked back at me, I flung sand into its face.

“Argh!”

One of the heads flinched. As the two heads lunging at me tangled with the third, I bolted into the cave entrance. The winding passage twisted like intestines.

“Hah, huff…!”

The growling grew closer. Goosebumps prickled up my neck. At this rate, I’d be caught soon.

“Le…!”

Pushed to the edge, my mouth called for Lemon on its own. But realizing I couldn’t cause her more trouble, I quickly clamped it shut with a gasp.

Besides, that beast might be too much even for Lemon. I couldn’t put her in danger too.

Then, my mind flashed to the king of this land, who handled that hellhound like its master.

“Bul… kan…”

I called softly, my breath heated. As if in answer, a pitch-black silhouette stood at the far end.

A figure taller than most men by a head, with coarse, lusterless black hair messily covering his thick neck, and shoulders as wide as a doorframe. It was Bulkan…!

My heart raced forward. I kicked off the ground and threw myself into his arms.

“Bulkan!”

Bulkan caught me effortlessly without so much as a flinch. Gasping for breath, I stammered out words.

“…The dog, it’s chasing me…”

The beast pursuing me soon poked its heads in. Spotting Bulkan, Cerberus screeched to a halt, its front paws digging into the ground. I flinched, trembling in fear.

“What’s this?”

When Bulkan glanced at it, Cerberus yelped and s**ked in a breath. Wagging its rear frantically, it shot out of the cave like a bullet.

The aftermath left my arms trembling.

“Why was it chasing you?”

The question came from above my head. I bit my lower lip hard. Admitting that the dog was in heat for me felt like a blow to my pride. It was like my human dignity was crumbling.

“Just… I teased it a bit.”

I made up an excuse on the spot. Bulkan chuckled, his body shaking. It was a laugh that seemed thrilled by the situation. His sharp canines glinted menacingly.

“You threw yourself into my arms.”

Heat rushed to my forehead in an instant. I tried to pull away, but my waist was grabbed and pulled back. I collided with his rock-hard body with a thud, my head ringing.

“Your eyes are red.”

His thick tongue l**ked around my eyes. It was relentless, as if it would s**k up every last tear. The bumpy taste buds felt like needles, prickling painfully.

“They’re w**.”

The force of his s**king made it feel like my eyeballs would pop out.

“You’re carrying my child, aren’t you?”

My heart plummeted to my stomach. Bulkan narrowed his eyes, looking as if he were listening intently to something.

“…Thump.”

He muttered, matching the heavy pounding of my heartbeat.

“Thump, thump, thump, thump. Your heart’s racing.”

I heard him murmur, asking if I was scared.

“What are you afraid of?”

For a normal person, this would obviously be terrifying. In this crazy world, something unthinkable has taken root in my belly. I can barely manage my own body right now…

One step outside this cave, and I might just get devoured. Yet, this pathetic me has a life clinging to me like a tumor.

“…Why did it have to be me?”

Unconsciously, I muttered the question. I was desperately curious about the deeper reason. Why, out of so many people, did it have to be me?

“I don’t know. Just one moment, a scent brushed my nose.”

Bulkan tilted his jaw, poking my cheek with his prominent nose.

“After winning the war, an oracle came down.”

His earlier words echoed in my mind. He’d said I was born where the earthly land splits in two…

There was a sinkhole in the village where I lived. It left a huge hole in the ground, and since the area was geologically weak, property values plummeted. It was only natural that my grandmother and I, the poorest in that town, settled there.

In the end, it was that d**ned poverty again.

“Yeah, this scent.”

I felt his breath inhaling my scent.

“It smells like flowers, like grass floating on a pond. A forest scent. I was born in a place like that.”

“…….”

“Odor. You smell delicious.”

It was a strangely evocative phrase.

Bulkan’s essence is a dog. When he says I smell delicious, it means a significant part of his senses is fixated on me. Dogs practically see the world through their noses, so he must be quite taken with me.

“I’m a man. My name is Gu Myeongha, not Odor or whatever.”

Bulkan’s lips moved stubbornly.

“Odor. That’s the name I gave you. You’re mine.”

I closed my mouth. We were clearly speaking the same language, but we weren’t communicating at all.

“Didn’t you say you don’t like weak partners? Wouldn’t Empusa, who’s stronger than me, be better?”

…Didn’t you once say I was too weak, you d**n dog?

“I’m drawn to your fur, so I must mate with you. Empusa isn’t my bride.”

My heart grew anxious. I added, like someone being chased.

“All I see here every day is Lemon. There are so many people out there, so many potential mates.”

His response was a short sentence, but it left no room for argument.

“Smelling your c**tch while mating makes my brain boil.”

A large hand rested on my belly. Startled, I covered his hand with mine, terrified he might press down.

“You’re pregnant, so we need to stretch your belly. I’ll hunt the deer you’re raising.”

“Please don’t…”

I shook my head weakly. Bulkan tilted his head.

“Didn’t you say you’d fatten it to fill your belly?”

He’d taken it literally. I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head frantically.

“That’s not what I meant. That’s not it.”

My body trembled. Something felt like it was surging up my throat like a fountain.

“She lost her mother.”

The image of the mother deer from my dream settled hazily on my retina. How much pain she must’ve felt when hunted. Pregnant, she probably couldn’t even run properly. She knew she’d be caught eventually, but for her fawn, she couldn’t give up on life easily.

“But letting it go into the forest like that, it’s obvious it’ll die.”

It wasn’t some sudden surge of paternal instinct. It was just…

“I feel guilty. How could I want to eat that young fawn?”

The sad voice kept echoing in my head.

<<You’re now like me.>>

“Now do you get it? I’m no different from the deer you killed. I have no strength, and now I have something to protect.”

<<There’s something you must protect, your offspring.>>

<<It’s truly a painful thing.>>

Was that the deer’s curse on me? Because of me, Bulkan hunted her while she carried her fawn. Because of me, Lemon slit her belly.

But if that were true, her eyes looked too sorrowful. Perhaps it was sympathy for someone in a similar plight. Or maybe it was just my imagination.

“I’ll kill them all.”

Bulkan spat out the words like a growl. It sounded deeply sinister.

“My bride has nothing to fear on this land.”

The words stuck in my throat rolled down like a ball, past my esophagus, my heart, my belly, my knees, pooling at my feet.

‘The one I fear most is you….’

One moment, you appeared and shattered everything I had. The house I lived in burned down. It was a dilapidated place that could’ve collapsed any day, but it was still what sustained my life.

And yet, it burned so fiercely. By now, it’s probably just ashes. And my grandmother, right now…

I was suddenly overwhelmed with confusion. What was I running from? What was I hiding from?

The Cerberus that got aroused by me or the beast standing before me on two legs—they weren’t much different to me.

“I can smash, crush, and tear apart everything on this land.”

His black eyes stared straight at me. I saw my face reflected in those dark pupils. Yes, there was one difference.

Cerberus threatened me, but the beast in front of me said he’d kill anything that threatened me. The words that fell on my forehead were oppressively unyielding.

“So you’d better curl your tail and submit before me.”

This ironic situation was suffocating, like an invisible hand tightly gripping my throat.

I want to escape. I want to vanish from this world without a trace. But it’s impossible. All a powerless person like me can do is submit to the situation.

“Uh, …okay.”

So I gave a faint smile. My facial muscles twitched like a fish caught on a hook.

The beast stared at me quietly. His eyes were dark and sinister.

☀️

The next day, Bulkan left the cave. By the entrance, another new animal lay. It was a massive black bull.

“Oh my, a bull this time?”

He usually brought only females, but nestled under the thick belly fat was clearly a male organ.

“It’ll provide plenty of nourishment!”

Looking at the heap of meat that seemed like a mountain of work, Lemon feigned excitement. I hesitated for a moment before quietly calling her.

“Um, Lemon…”

She looked at me with curious eyes. I rarely called her, so it was understandable.

“Yes, Priest nim.”

“Um, about ‘Happiness.’ Is it doing okay?”

When I cautiously spoke, Lemon’s face lit up.

“Shall I bring it right away?”

I nodded calmly. Lemon, excited, hurried out, saying she’d be back soon. I sat in the quiet room, waiting. The sun was tilting through the window.

“Priest nim.”

At Lemon’s voice, I whipped my head around. Beside her stood a small fawn. Its eyes were brimming with tears.

“Whine, …whimper.”

It pawed at my knees, urging me to hold it. It had grown a bit since I last saw it, but as Lemon said, it must not have eaten well—it was still so small it barely reached my waist. When I bent down, it snuggled into me, l**king my cheeks.

“…Sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around the fawn’s back. Hungry, it s**ked on my fingers. I took milk from Lemon, fed it well, and patted its back. It fell asleep in my arms, breathing softly.

“It wouldn’t eat or sleep before. It must feel at ease.”

It must’ve missed being held.

“It’s totally spoiled. It needs Priest nim by its side.”

Lemon’s words gave me a bit of strength. Though I’m powerless, maybe I could feed and care for this little fawn until its legs are strong enough to return to the forest—a small spark of courage.

I quietly hoped this would repay even a fraction of the debt I owed its mother.

I dozed off briefly. When I opened my eyes, my arms were empty. Happiness had disappeared.

“Happiness.”

Hearing a whimper, I looked under the bed. I met its clear eyes. Its small muzzle was smeared with white milk, its front paws and body covered in it.

“Why’s your body like that?”

It must’ve been playing, dipping its paws in the milk bowl.

“Oh…”

I felt a pang of pity. In this gloomy cave, the only play a baby deer could manage was something like that. With nothing to do, it must’ve resorted to such mischief out of boredom.

“It’d be nice if you could play outside.”

I muttered with a worried heart. At my sigh, the fawn’s eyes grew dejected, thinking I was scolding it.

“No, I wasn’t saying anything bad…”

I quickly got off the bed and picked up the crestfallen fawn.

“Were you playing by yourself?”

I patted its head, praising its cleverness. I felt Happiness relax, happily nuzzling my chest with affection.

It’d be nice to go outside, smell flowers and grass, dip its toes in the water by the stream… but not too deep, since it’s dangerous.

Lemon tried taking it for walks several times, but the problem was Happiness. It refused to leave my side for a moment.

…It must think it was abandoned. My heart stung as if pricked by a needle.

“That’s not true at all.”

L**k, l**k, its small tongue brushed my eyes. The smell of milk wafted to my nose. Its fur was white in patches and needed washing.

“Let’s get up together.”

Holding the fawn, I entered the bath. The green water rippled slowly. I dipped my hand in, and the water, slightly warmer than body temperature, welcomed me.

It’s warm… A smile spread across my face.

“I’ll wash you in warm water.”

As I tried to set it down, Happiness whined and scratched at my hand. No, don’t leave me, keep holding me… It fussed, poking my neck with its nose.

“No, I’m just trying to wash you.”

Its innocent eyes were filled with hurt. It didn’t understand at all. Since we couldn’t really communicate, there was no helping it.

“Then let’s go in together.”

I set aside the cloth wrapped around me. As I sank into the water, the warm water enveloped my skin.

“You’re enjoying this.”

Happiness’s small triangular ears twitched. It seemed to find the soft ripples fun, gently rolling its front paws.

“Want to swim?”

The water wasn’t very deep. It shouldn’t be too dangerous. I carefully set down its small, ball-like body, and the fawn eagerly kicked its legs.

Splash, splash. The soft sound of water echoed in the cave. When it felt it had gone too far, it turned back to look at me, as if checking I was still there.

“I’m here.”

I smiled softly, waving my hand. Reassured, the fawn resumed splashing through the bath with its tiny hooves. The splashing filled the silence.

I followed the drifting mist with my eyes. Aimless thoughts floated.

Unconsciously, my palm covered the area around my navel. It seemed slightly more rounded than before, but still very subtle. It was far different from the pregnant women I’d imagined.

To think a new life was nestled here… It feels like too small a vessel to hold something.

“…Huff.”

It felt like floating in a dreadful illusion. It’s absurd and unbelievable, but… somehow, this meant my grandmother could go to a better place.

The question was how long it would take for whatever’s in my belly to come out. Surely it wouldn’t take a full ten months like a human, right?

My grandmother is already so old… How hard must it be for her? The thought alone made waves churn in my stomach.

Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly snapped awake, like someone dragged out of water.

“…!”

A chill ran through me. My elbows twitched, and my toes curled. I felt a piercing gaze from somewhere.

Carefully, I slid my eyes sideways. Through the door’s crack, black eyes were watching me. Bulkan, cloaked in darkness, was staring.

I swallowed dryly. He didn’t seem to know I’d noticed, so I quietly turned my head.

“Come here, and I’ll hold you.”

I reached out toward Happiness. The fawn rolled its soft, cotton-like hooves. Patter, patter, patter, the small creature drew closer to me. From behind, I could hear the heavy steps of a massive figure approaching.

Hurry, come here, hurry… before the monster arrives. I urged it silently in my mind. Finally, the fawn’s cheek brushed against my arms. At the same moment, the turmoil in my chest calmed considerably.

I glimpsed a dark silhouette behind me. Still, I pretended not to notice. Clank, clank. Even as he shed his armor, even as the clattering sound echoed from the edge of the tub, I kept my eyes stubbornly fixed on the bathwater.

Completely defenseless, not even a scrap of cloth covering my body. I could feel his damp gaze trailing over me. A strange tension crept in.

Gulp. I swallowed dryly. For some reason, it felt hard to breathe comfortably. I deliberately tightened my thighs, pressing my knees together.

His face, reflected in the rippling water, wavered. His eyes were watching me. When our eyes met, my hair was suddenly grabbed.

“Ugh.”

My vision was forcibly turned, and a sharp jaw thrust into view.

“Why aren’t you looking at me?”

“I didn’t know you were here…”

The beast stared through my chest. His eyes narrowed further. It was as if he were counting my heartbeats again.

“Your muzzle lied.”

His cold words allowed no hint of deceit. My insides jolted, and I bit my lower lip.

“When you’re scared or lying, your teats tremble.”

Teats… At the vulgar word, I pressed the fawn’s face closer with both arms. I could feel it squirming in my embrace.

“I have… something to ask.”

“What is it?”

His slow gaze landed on my face. His eyes gleamed darkly, brimming with curiosity. As I tried to continue, a small sensation brushed my fingertips.

“Ah…”

Thinking Happiness was playing, it lightly nipped my hand. Then, it flapped its ears excitedly. It didn’t seem like a conversation to have with the fawn nearby, so I quietly called for Lemon.

“Lemon.”

Lemon, standing beyond the door, approached. She had her usual bright eyes.

“Yes, Priest nim, Lemon’s here!”

When I held out my arms, Happiness looked up at me plaintively, as if reluctant to go, squirming slightly.

“Could you take Happiness for a bit?”

Lemon folded the fawn like origami, tucking it under her arm, and quickly disappeared. Waaah, Happiness’s cries faded into the distance. Silence settled in the cave. I slowly parted my lips.

“How long does it take to give birth?”

“Usually sixty days.”

Compared to the ten months humans typically wait, it was far shorter. But time is relative. The more pain you’re in, the more it stretches like taffy.

For those two months, my grandmother would have to endure a living h**l.

“…My grandmother.”

Hiding my hands in the water, I fumbled to continue.

“What about her?”

“Go on, say it,” he goaded, spreading his arms wide to encircle the tub. His lats, stretching from his waist to his armpits, flexed menacingly, as if proclaiming everything here was his.

“Now that it’s true something’s in my belly, can you let my grandmother go to a better place…”

“No way.”

I’d barely managed to speak, but he snorted dismissively, as if I’d said something absurd.

“What if you run away again? Then I’d have no hostage.”

Like a chicken’s neck being wrung, my waist was roughly grabbed. Startled by the feeling of being pinned by his thick arms, Bulkan chuckled, his chest shaking. Unable to resist his grip, I was dragged along and forced to sit on his thigh. His scarred chest, marked with large and small wounds, came into view.

“But my grandmother’s already bound to h**l. I can’t escape.”

I was trying to have a serious conversation, but Bulkan spouted nonsense. “You love baths!” he yapped, nibbling my ear. Even now, he was fooling around. He didn’t seem much different in mental age from the fawn I’d just sent away.

“Please…”

I asked again, earnestly, for him to listen.

“Hmm.”

Bulkan slowly tilted his head. His slanted eyes narrowed further.

“Then what will you give me?”

He pressed his nose hard against my neck. I shrank back like a turtle under attack.

“What will you give me?”

“…I don’t have anything to give.”

When I was dragged to h**l, all I had was my pajamas. Worn and tattered pajamas, at that. What could he possibly want from me? All I have left are functioning limbs and organs. I didn’t understand why he was staring at me so intently, as if he expected something. My racing thoughts hit a point, and a deeply strange feeling washed over me.

‘…He wants something from me?’

It was laughable. Could there be anyone in this world with less than me? No connections, no job, certainly no money. My strength was barely above that of a fawn.

Yet this ruler of the land wanted something from me? It was the height of self-absorption. I was drowning in self-reproach for losing objectivity when…

“Then give me all your memories.”

Defying my expectations, he bared his fangs and grinned.

“…What?”

He was demanding something unimaginable. I was dumbfounded. What did he just ask for… Memories aren’t balloons you can just hand over, are they? The question lingered briefly, but so many unbelievable things had happened here already.

“Give me your memories!”

“Then what happens to me?”

When I asked nervously, a cheerful reply came back.

“You’ll forget everything from the world above. You’ll become a real idiot.”

Forget everything? It felt like my skull was emptying out. I thought I had nothing left to lose, but I still had my memories.

“No way.”

I shook my head. I’d probably end up buried in this place anyway, so losing my memories might be less painful emotionally.

But what’s the point of living like that? Would a me without memories still be me? It was no different from asking me to throw away my entire self.

“Anything else? I’ll give you anything else… just not my memories.”

Bulkan clicked his tongue.

“Nothing to give, you worthless bug? I took your first, didn’t I?”

He said that, but his eyes diligently scanned my body. From the crown of my head to my toes. A chill ran down my spine.

As if weighing what to take, his gaze lingered on my ankle. He glanced between his wrist and mine, snorting as if amused by the difference in size.

“I like your ankle.”

His next words were a bit suspicious. Why bring that up now?

“S-seriously, you want that?”

“Yeah!”

His grin resembled a gambling addict who’d hit an unexpected jackpot. A heavy feeling settled in my chest. Obsessed with bones, and now ankles?

“I’ll leave one leg. It’s pretty attached, after all.”

He buried his face in my neck. His damp breath scattered over my sensitive skin. I couldn’t respond.

The ripples in the bath churned chaotically. I couldn’t tell if it was my mind or the fog in the tub that was unraveling.

Two choices lay before me.

First, become an empty shell with nothing inside. Second, keep what fills me but damage the shell.

Why does every situation push me to such extremes? Could I endure the pain of losing an ankle?

…On the other hand, this useless body can’t go far outside the cave anyway. Maybe losing one ankle wouldn’t be so bad.

“…Ankle.”

Bulkan, crawling under my thigh, looked up. His lips, w** from l**king, glistened.

“What did you say?”

Some might say, hasn’t your grandmother endured there all this time? Two more months won’t change much. Just ignore it.

Sixty days. It could be considered short. But looking back at the time I’d spent here, it was absurdly long.

Barely two months. In that time, I’d rolled through a living h**l over and over. Carrying a ticking time bomb in my chest, I’d struggled through each day, shoving all my anger and sorrow into a corner of my throat.

I wouldn’t have been dragged into this world if not for my grandmother. She protected me. That sacrifice led to this horrific outcome.

Some might call me foolish. Still, this was the most voluntary choice I’d ever made.

“…I choose my ankle over my memories.”

Pfft, the monster burst into laughter. Gleefully, he rubbed his cheek against my foot. His sharp jaw grazed my toes and pressed hard on my instep.

“It’s mine now. I’ll take all of you!”

It felt like I’d swallowed a handful of sand; my throat was rough and tight. I bit my tongue hard to quell the crushing feeling. The sharp pain stung my tender flesh, but it was far milder than the agony of reality.

After that, Bulkan smirked whenever he got the chance, his long eyes crinkling. He seemed in high spirits, his mouth stretched ear to ear.

What he brought back tucked under his arm was a jewelry box.

“Bulkan nim is here!”

Lemon, holding the fawn, rushed to open it. For a moment, I was nearly blinded. A dazzling light poured out.

“Goodness, it’s so beautiful.”

Bulkan rummaged through it without hesitation. From the chaotic mess, he picked something up. It was a bit large for a bracelet…

“Come to me.”

Bulkan dragged me over and sat me on the table. Then he fastened something on my ankle. For a moment, I thought it was a shackle.

“Oh my, ankle accessories are trendy these days. Bulkan nim’s taste is impeccable.”

As always, Lemon praised him tirelessly, as if she had a daily quota.

“Of course. I picked it myself.”

Bulkan puffed out his shoulders proudly, like a boasting crow. The muscles clinging to his skin like feathers gleamed with a menacing black sheen.

“You promised to give it to me soon.”

Bulkan’s lips curved deeply. Boasting about something so absurd. I ignored the ridiculous situation, but Lemon beamed.

“What?”

“My ankle.”

Lemon’s fingers twitched. Her gaze, questioning what he meant, turned to me. I gave an awkward smile.

“I agreed to let him take one ankle. So he decorated it nicely.”

Behind Bulkan, whose eyes gleamed like a madman, Lemon briefly touched her temple. She seemed troubled by her extraordinary master.

They say joy doubles when shared, and sorrow halves. From dealing with a lunatic, I’d learned something new: sharing an irrational person doubles the stress.

There was no need for Lemon to feel this pressure too.

‘It’s okay.’

I mouthed silently. Meanwhile, the accessories on my ankle were steadily increasing.

“Hmph, the merchant said this jewel would make you more beautiful than the goddess of beauty.”

He slipped a ring-like piece onto my big toe, growling low. It was probably like a human humming.

“It’s worse than nothing. Next time I see him, I’ll rip his eyes out. They’re too pathetic for a sweet taste, haha!”

Despite his words, he kept fondling my foot, sniffing it. He even swallowed, his mouth watering. He clearly loved it.

Was this really something to be so thrilled about? You’d think my ankle was gilded. I looked down at it weakly.

It was so pale it resembled bone, and being so thin, my ankle bone protruded sharply. The skin was so thin that blue veins showed through my calf.

It didn’t seem like something to covet. Yet Bulkan was obsessed, nibbling my ankle and l**king the bone. Even now, bite marks covered my ankle, instep, and toes. I was too embarrassed to show my bare feet to others.

“Please… stop it.”

I glanced at Lemon. To act so shamelessly in front of others, my thoughts felt like they’d crashed.

“Why?”

“There’s someone else here, not just you and me.”

As I spoke faintly, Bulkan’s expression turned ferocious like a demon.

“So why does that matter?”

This world distinguishes formal and informal speech. He didn’t care much if I spoke casually, but he got extremely violent if I said anything negative or showed refusal.

“It’ll be mine soon anyway!”

He pressed his nose hard against my instep. The blue veins were crushed painfully.

“You don’t get a say. It’s mine now. And so are you.”

His lips curved like a crescent moon, but his eyes held no trace of a smile. The icy gaze was terrifying. I quietly lowered my eyes.

☀️

I paced anxiously in a corner of the audience chamber. The clinking sound rang out continuously. The anklet brushed my ankle up and down vividly.

“Are you itching to go somewhere?”

I turned along the long red carpet. Bulkan was on the throne two steps up, lounging like a sated lion, chuckling darkly.

“If it’s bothersome, come lie here. You can mark my leg instead.”

It was nonsense that didn’t add up. If it was such a need, I’d handle it privately—why go to him for it?

“My bride lifts one leg to pee, still insisting he’s a male.”

Bulkan whispered to a servant fanning him, as if it were a secret. His words made no sense, and wearing a black bear fur cloak only made him look more sinister.

“Priest nim, the one you were waiting for is here.”

At Lemon’s words, the door opened. I spun around. Compared to the massive door, the figure looked even smaller. Bent like a pine tree, thin and aged like an old branch…

“Grandmother.”

I rushed forward.

“Myeongha?”

Grandmother flailed her hands in the air, searching for me. Her eyes were covered with a tattered cloth.

“Myeongha?”

I hurried to her, grasping her small, frail shoulders.

“Grandmother, why are your eyes like this…”

From behind, I heard a presence. In a ruthlessly emotionless tone, Bulkan stated the facts.

“She saw the future with her eyes and mocked the gods. So she was blinded and made to walk in darkness.”

I cautiously reached forward, pulling down the worn strap covering her eyes.

“Oh my…”

As light flooded her closed eyes, Grandmother squinted. Wrinkles creased around her eyes.

“Myeongha, my dear.”

And then, she pulled me into her arms.

“When did you grow so much, my dear?”

Her words, stroking my back, were soaked with emotion.

“It feels like just yesterday you were crying in my arms with a fever.”

A well of deep emotions surged, bubbling up. My vision blurred. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

“I still regret not feeding you well. I thought you wouldn’t grow much because you ate so little, but you’ve grown so splendidly.”

I’d never been treated as precious in my life, but Grandmother always caressed me like I was. She stroked me like fine porcelain, saying, “My dear, you’re beautiful, the best.”

“Grandmother, no, you fed me well, raised me with good things.”

Sobbing, I pieced together words. Thinking this might be the last time, my heart raced.

“When spring came, we picked mugwort to make rice cakes, and in autumn, we boiled chestnuts to share. Don’t you remember?”

I stammered. I had so much to say, but my emotions made my thoughts sluggish. Everything was a mess.

“And, and also… ah.”

Perhaps sensing my sudden emotional shift, my lower belly twitched. Startled, I clutched it, and Grandmother’s eyes turned to my stomach.

She seemed to realize something, her eyes widening. A glint shone in her cloudy, grayed pupils.

“There’s something in your belly.”

I flinched with an “ah.” I’d worn loose clothes to hide it, but I couldn’t fool Grandmother’s eyes.

“It’s come to this.”

“Grandmother, it’s…”

I didn’t want to worry her until the day she left. I opened my mouth to make an excuse, but a voice echoed from the door.

<<Human, it is now time to go.>>

From the urging words, I could feel a sense of intimidation that seemed impossible to refuse. My heart raced frantically.

“Grandma…”

I acutely felt that the time to part was approaching. I squeezed her hand, which was wrinkled and shriveled without moisture like a dried persimmon, even tighter.

“It will be difficult and very arduous, but,”

Grandma gave me a gentle smile. Tears welled up in my eyes at the sight of her smile, which I hadn’t seen in a long time.

“will you live happily and well.”

“Yes.”

I will, I promised, nodding my head up and down vigorously.

A being with black wings on his back came inside. Seeing the black light pouring out around his body, he seemed to be a god of some sort. Grandma took a step to follow him. It was now Grandma’s turn to go to a good place. A place where she could lay down all her hardships and rest her heart in peace, and when the time came, even reincarnate and live a new life. But I could not let go of Grandma’s hand and foolishly followed her all the way to the door.

“Let’s meet again on a fine day in the future.”

I nodded my head vigorously at her smiling face. The next moment, thud, the door closed. I stared blankly at the door until not even a sliver of the bright light remained. Tears formed and beaded up on my eyelashes.

“Hic…”

I felt like I would go crazy from sadness. I wanted to just hide in a small space for a moment, have some time to myself, and then come out.

A large hand that appeared from behind grabbed my face. Such a rude touch, as always.

“Why are you crying?”

He turned my chin this way and that, examining me as if I were a spectacle.

“When I see your crying face, my lower abdomen tightens.”

His tongue slipped out from between his wantonly moving lips. He rudely made s**king noises, repulsively l**king the corners of my eyes.

“Were you also born from a womb?”

He kept scratching my hypersensitive eyeball with his tongue. The corners of my eyes grew hot, as if seared.

“Unlike humans, I was born as a monster dog without a mother. I was born from the blood of a monster whose neck was struck off by Hades.”

I stared at him without a word. Tears were welling up, making it feel as if I were facing him through a transparent curtain.

“This body clearly asked if you were also born from a womb and crawled out from between two legs.”

I nodded my head like a listless chicken.

“Yes, I had a mother, but she passed away while giving birth to me.”

As I spoke, I thought of the white deer. It felt as if someone was breathing life into that thought. Was I projecting myself onto that deer?

“Then what about the one who shared the seed?”

“That is…”

I bit my lower lip.

“There must have been a male who mated with your mother, no?”

Avoiding his piercing gaze, I chose my words carefully.

It was incredibly difficult to talk about my father in front of Bulkan, who said his original form was a dog. Because the man they call my father, who gave birth to me….

“He was no different than a stranger.”

Because he was a gambler who frequented dogfighting rings.

Whenever Grandma went to another town to perform a shamanistic ritual, I was left in the hands of the man they called my father. He would abandon me in a corner of the dogfighting ring. Everything there was a pandemonium. …The creaking iron cages, the adults yelling to kill it quickly, the dogs thrown into a fighting pit after being injected with pig estrus inducers, forced to bite and tear at their own kind.

At that time, I was only seven years old.

“He’s a human who wouldn’t even bat an eye if he heard I had died.”

Even at the very end, he came to the house, demanding money. To think that even a human like that has such a long lifeline…. There was nothing as ironic and unfair as life.

“He was just a trash-like human. A person not worth associating with. I don’t even want to remember him.”

While I was reminiscing about the past, unexpected words flowed sinuously from Bulkan’s mouth.

“You lived in a rabbit hole that looked like it would collapse if you punched it.”

Why is he suddenly talking about that? I stared at him, dumbfounded.

“You filled your belly with stuff like gruel that even pig b**t**ds eat, and you wore scavenged clothes that were no better than weeds.”

The sentences that followed all spoke of my poverty. I was confused, unable to grasp the intention of these words, but soon, his speech stopped its meandering and ended with a question.

“Then what was it that you were trying to protect?”

Thump. I felt a heavy blow, as if he had punched me in the heart. My eyes flew open wide. My swollen eyelids sluggishly pressed down on my pupils. My vision blurred into a white haze.

“That kind of thing is called a filth pit.”

A filth pit…. I moved my stiff tongue to murmur the words. It was the life I had managed to patch together, however clumsily. Under the stigma of filth, it had been degraded into something of low quality, something cheap.

“Your memory is filled with nothing but trash, so it’s better to throw something like that away. It is better not to dare keep it in even a corner of your head!”

Unlike his hot body, his eyes were coldly chilled. And just as coldly, each and every word flowed out.

“From the moment you were born, no, from long before you were born, you were mine. From the very beginning, this was where you were meant to be.”

A fishy sensation swirled in my empty stomach. It felt as though blood was pouring out from the gashes torn open by his sharp words.

“So give me your memories. Don’t think about anything from the past.”

He held both my arms tightly, pouring out the last sentence without any filter. Like a punctured water balloon, whoosh, anger erupted like a fountain. Why you, with what right do you say such things?

“…You ruined everything.”

Unable to overcome the overflowing emotions, I pulled on his arms in return.

“Me and my grandma, we may not have lived as splendidly as others, but it was bearable. We were happy.”

Bulkan’s black eyes gleamed. I was someone who always suppressed and hid my emotions, but every time I erupted in anger like this, he would look at me as if he were observing me, piercing right through me.

“…Until you appeared before me.”

Liquid flowed from my eyes and pooled at the corners of my moving mouth. He was still a fearsome opponent to me, but I could no longer hold it in.

No matter what anyone said, Bulkan was the one who had shattered my life. And yet, for him to mock me, saying my life was trash and that it would be better to forget such things, was a sight I could absolutely not bear to watch.

I would often ruminate on the bitter taste of that day, rethinking that day over and over again. If only I hadn’t taken cold medicine and fallen asleep that day, if only I had woken up earlier, no, if only I had reported it to the fire station a little sooner….

Would that day have been different? A terrible delusion and self-reproach. I was trapped by vile imaginings, constantly tormenting and whipping myself. In every moment, I realized I was a powerless human, often blaming myself for being a useless cripple, and sometimes, I would turn the arrowhead of blame toward Bulkan.

“If only you hadn’t broken into our house and set that fire…!”

I muttered, almost spitting the words out with my chin raised high.

“You foolish bride.”

At that, Bulkan’s eyes glinted grimly as he sneered.

“I did not set the fire.”

I was looking straight into his two eyes. The pupils that held me captive were blazing fiercely.

“That day, I was also following your scent.”

My eyes widened. Until then, I still did not believe his words. But his next words made me frown instinctively.

“But on that day, your name came up on the register of the dead.”

“…What?”

Don’t you understand, he murmured. He leaned his lips against my ear and whispered lowly.

“You were fated to die that day.”

The surrounding air froze solid in an instant. The eyes I faced were cold, yet settled low. It seemed he was telling the truth. It felt as if my peripheral nerves, standing on end like ice picks, were all rushing toward me at once. My hair stood on end.

“Then who on earth,”

…who set the fire?