MBL 18

Joonwon quietly glanced at Joonyoung. The younger brother met his eyes, asking why with a look.

“You’re acting cocky.”

“It’s my heart, so what.”

“Everyone, look here. Oh, mister, madam, please hug each other tightly.”

The guy said it playfully. As if to match the mood today, Father followed along, and Ms. Yoon’s boisterous laughter rang out once. At the same time, the younger brother tightly wrapped his arms around Joonwon’s waist.

“One, two, great, that’s good! Three!”

The sound of the shutter trapping the moment echoed in the space.

On the screen, Joonwon placed his hand on the arm of his younger brother, who was hugging his waist, and smiled faintly, almost blurrily.

∞ ∞ ∞

Father seemed quite shocked by the announcement that his two sons would move out independently without any help. He stared at Joonwon with eyes that seemed to say he couldn’t quite understand. As always, Joonwon pretended not to notice the gaze scratching at his forehead.

“We’ve just started getting close, and now this. Who am I going to order chicken with now?”

Ms. Yoon looked at the younger brother with a regretful expression upon hearing the news of their independence.

When Joonyoung met Ms. Yoon’s eyes, he gave her a smile only they understood. Unlike Father or Joonwon, who never ate late-night snacks, she and Joonyoung loved ordering something to eat right before bed.

There was a time when, late at night while holding his younger brother, a message from Ms. Yoon came asking, “Chicken call? Tteokbokki call?”

“That’s what I’m saying. Hyung hates ordering late-night snacks too. He always nags me about eating late.”

“Oh my, Father used to say the same thing.”

Unlike Father, who was frowning in disapproval, Ms. Yoon and Joonyoung continued their cheerful conversation, facing each other.

During dinner, Joonwon informed Father and Ms. Yoon that they would move out over the weekend.

Ms. Yoon had been careful not to raise her voice even once because of Joonyoung, the examinee, and had worried constantly. It was fortunate that the results were good, but if they hadn’t been, Ms. Yoon would likely have blamed herself.

Considering her position, Joonwon had expected Father to welcome their independence, but contrary to his expectations, Father’s expression was not good.

After dinner, Joonwon went out to the garden to smoke. The snow that had been falling until late afternoon had stopped, and everything had settled into a quiet stillness.

Looking at it now, it was a spacious house. It seemed a bit lonely for just two people to live in. Also, unlike before, the relationship between Joonyoung and Ms. Yoon wasn’t awkward anymore. With the family now harmonious, their independence wasn’t exactly welcome, and in truth, it wasn’t necessary.

Gazing at the snowy field, Joonwon tried to understand Father’s feelings.

“That’s a fine thing to do in front of an elder.”

Turning at the sound, he saw Father coming out to the outdoor terrace, holding a pack of cigarettes.

He put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Joonwon turned his head away to avoid him and exhaled smoke.

Father and son stood side by side, overlooking the snow-covered garden, smoking their cigarettes.

“Did I ever do anything to upset you?”

“…….”

“Isn’t this a bit harsh? Just deciding on your own like this out of nowhere?”

“…….”

Joonwon never responded when Father spoke to him like this. As usual, he just lowered his gaze and remained silent, as if lost in other thoughts.

“I know you can handle things on your own. I know it’s not a big deal. But isn’t this a bit much?”

“I’m sorry.”

Joonwon mumbled without even knowing what he was saying.

“Not discussing it with you before bringing Ms. Yoon into the house…, well, that was my mistake. I was busy, and you were busy too, weren’t you? With Joonyoung entering his third year, I thought someone needed to take care of him, so I made that choice.”

It seemed he thought their sudden independence was a rebellion against him bringing a woman into the house.

Joonwon didn’t care who Father brought into the house. Like when he was younger, he just wished Father would focus on his own affairs and not meddle with them. Father’s constant interference with Joonyoung, saying this and that, gave Joonwon a clear sense of displeasure.

“But leaving so suddenly like this, preparing everything on your own and just informing us before going, is that all there is to it? Is it all so easy and simple?”

“…….”

“Joonyoung too. Once he becomes a freshman, he’ll be drinking more, and an adult needs to keep an eye on him. Are you two really going to be okay living alone? The house isn’t far from school, so is there really a need to move out?”

Even though he had promised to let Joonyoung live separately if he got into college, Father was now flipping his stance. That aside, Joonwon was deeply irritated by Father speaking as if he had some right or responsibility over Joonyoung.

“Ms. Yoon said it would be good if we lived separately.”

“…That’s.”

Father’s expression showed he realized his mistake.

“Joonyoung told me.”

“That was when Joonyoung and Ms. Yoon were still awkward with each other, not now. Ms. Yoon loves Joonyoung so much now. You’re misunderstanding, Kang Joonwon. It was natural for her to feel uncomfortable at first, so she complained a bit.”

“…….”

“Sigh…”

He exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke with a sigh. Joonwon kept his eyes down, staring at Father’s chest. The cigarette in Father’s fingers sent up a thin wisp of smoke.

“Prepare well for the move. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Yes.”

Father stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray set up in the garden and turned away. White breath spread around his face.

Joonwon flicked off the long ash and put the cigarette back in his mouth.

He didn’t want anyone else in the new space he was starting with Joonyoung. That was why he deliberately planned the move for a weekend when Father had a golfing appointment.

Ms. Yoon found Joonwon intimidating. She seemed to want to come along, perhaps to help with cleaning, but after hearing from Father that they were moving out because of her, she only looked at them regretfully as they loaded their things and left, not following.

The furniture they had ordered in advance had already arrived, and they only needed to unpack what they brought.

It was a small apartment Joonwon had rented within his budget after much effort.

Though small in size, it was newly built and clean, and the school was a ten-minute walk away.

Joonwon gave the larger room to Joonyoung. It faced south, getting good sunlight.

They ate a quick lunch with food ordered from a Chinese restaurant and unpacked until late at night. It was close to midnight when they finally finished, though not everything was done.

Joonwon and Joonyoung sat on the living room sofa, surrounded by scattered furniture and books, eating chicken and drinking beer, which Joonyoung loved.

After carrying and moving things all day, their bodies ached with muscle soreness.

“If we just organize the wardrobe, we’re done. I don’t think I can do it. I didn’t know moving was this hard. It’s exhausting.”

Joonyoung gulped down his beer, muttering awkwardly that it was refreshing.

“I told you I’d do it, so why did you insist on doing everything? It was tough, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s more heavy labor than I thought.”

Joonwon gently massaged the younger brother’s hands, which were clasped together.

“Now we don’t have to worry about sounds at night, right?”

“…….”

“Do you know where I went earlier?”

As he massaged his hands, Joonyoung asked. While unpacking, Joonyoung had said he’d be back and disappeared for about thirty minutes.

“Where did you go?”

“…I went to buy condoms and lube.”

“…….”

“They say… you need those. I looked it up online.”

“Are you… always like this?”

Joonwon couldn’t lift his head and just pressed Joonyoung’s hands firmly, speaking.

He was afraid of crossing the line. As Joonyoung said, they were already doing every reckless thing possible except for that, but he couldn’t bring himself to go that far.

Losing his rationality was frightening, but if he did that to his younger brother, it would be irreversible. He wasn’t in his right mind, but Joonwon couldn’t cross that line.

“Isn’t it natural to want to do it with someone you love…?”

Joonyoung, reacting to Joonwon’s awkward response, asked as if it was strange. Joonwon looked up at Joonyoung.

“Don’t you love me?”

“…I do.”

“I love you too, hyung.”

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t want to make a mistake with you.”

“…How is that a mistake?”

“No, I mean, it’s not that, what I’m saying is… I mean.”

“…….”

Unable to explain his filthy desires to the younger brother looking at him in bewilderment, Joonwon bit his lip.

Joonwon wanted to undress his younger brother, to leave clear marks on his lips, neck, and chest. He wanted to taste his skin. He wanted to bury his face in his intimate places and suck greedily until they were drenched.

How could he say that… Joonwon felt wretched about his own impurity.

Joonyoung spoke as if it was no big deal, but it wasn’t.

It wasn’t just morally wrong; it was defiling his younger brother.

Joonwon wanted to thrust his filthy organ into his younger brother’s tender flesh and reach climax. He had even imagined defiling him with impure lust, but there was a huge gap between imagining and acting on it.

When Joonwon was younger, one day while holding his sleeping younger brother, he felt strange. He wanted to hold him more preciously. No, a stronger emotion surged, and he wanted to touch him.

The day that desire first arose, Joonwon held a knife in his hand. It was the first day he came to hate himself. That was ten years ago.

For ten years, he had been steeped in that thought. His brain couldn’t think properly, and Joonwon kept swallowing dryly. Joonyoung stared at his trembling throat.

“I’m still… not ready.”

“…….”

Joonyoung looked at him with incredulous eyes. Eyes that didn’t understand and didn’t want to.

“Then I’ll do it.”

“…What?”

“I’ll do it.”

“…Do what?”

“You just stay still. I’ll take care of it.”

“What do you mean, take care of it?”

“Just lie there and stay still, and I’ll handle it.”

“What are you talking about handling?”

Joonwon shook his head, trying to erase the image that had just popped into his mind, and asked.

“If you can’t do it, just stay still. I’ll do it.”

“…What kind of nonsense is that?”

“I’m going to shower. Want to shower together?”

“…….”

Joonyoung tapped Joonwon’s shoulder, who was sitting there stunned, and stood up. He went into the bathroom, and soon the loud sound of the shower echoed.

Joonwon got up from the sofa and paced the living room. He walked back and forth restlessly, and soon the sound of water stopped, and the bathroom door clicked open. Through the white steam, Joonyoung came out, wearing only a loose T-shirt, bare-legged.

Joonyoung, wiping his wet hair with a towel, looked at Joonwon standing by the window.

“Aren’t you going to shower?”

“…….”

“I even like the smell of your sweat.”

“…I’ll shower.”

Joonwon grabbed the hem of his shirt, crossing his arms, and pulled it off over his head. His body was dirty with sweat and dust. Passing Joonyoung, he entered the bathroom his younger brother had just used. The floor was slick with water.

He deliberately turned the faucet to cold and let the icy water hit him. The cold water of winter struck his erect organ, aroused by the sight of his half-undressed younger brother, like a whip.

He stood with his head under the cold water until the heat in his body cooled. After finishing his shower, Joonwon meticulously dried himself and lingered in the bathroom pointlessly before opening the door.

Joonyoung, sitting on the sofa drinking beer, turned his gaze. Their eyes met.

Joonwon hurriedly tried to turn off the living room light.

“Leave it. It’s too dark to see anything.”

“…….”

Joonwon didn’t have the confidence to embrace his younger brother in the light. He wasn’t upright, and without hiding in the dark, he couldn’t reveal the sordid flesh of his desires.

Joonwon let his hand, which had reached for the light switch, fall limply.

Joonyoung approached, hugged his waist, and buried his cheek in his shoulder, then lifted his head in surprise.

“Why is your body so cold?”

“I used cold water.”

“Are you crazy? What if you catch a cold?”

Joonyoung grabbed his wrist and led him to the bedroom. He laid him down on the soft bedding, quickly covered him with a blanket, and lay beside him.

Joonwon looked at his younger brother awkwardly. Fussing over Joonwon’s bedding as if tending to him, Joonyoung scolded him.

“That’s a fine thing to do in the middle of winter. You’re already exhausted today and could catch a cold.”

He often took cold showers. When he put his head under water so cold it felt like splitting his skull with a rock, the dirty passions in his mind would somewhat wash away, so he frequently showered in icy water at home.

Joonwon buried his face in his younger brother’s chest as he led him. Joonyoung hugged him, stroking his broad back to warm him up, busily rubbing.

“I’m not cold.”

“You’re this cold and say you’re not?”

As if to prove it was true, Joonyoung shivered exaggeratedly.

Joonwon’s bare upper body quickly absorbed warmth, a cozy heat spreading. Joonyoung’s hands were now tracing the scars scattered across his body one by one.

He burrowed into his younger brother’s embrace. Lifting the hem of his shirt, he slipped inside and hugged him. The skin against his cheek was soft and pliant.

He felt like he had finally found where he belonged. Everything surrounding him was comforting.

As he tickled the bare skin, his younger brother burst into laughter, twisting his body.

“Stop it, ah, really, stop. It tickles. Haha, ah, hyung!”

Joonwon, who had been teasing his sides and armpits, slipped out from under his T-shirt. His hair was completely disheveled.

“Haha… you know I’m really ticklish.”

Joonyoung shrank his neck, saying it still felt ticklish somewhere.

“…Are you really okay with this?”

“Huh?”

“…….”

Joonwon looked down at his younger brother and asked.

He could wait as long as needed. Years didn’t matter, and even if it never happened, he could endure. Just being like this with Joonyoung was a blessing Joonwon couldn’t even hope for God’s forgiveness for.

Joonyoung’s cheeks flushed red. The younger brother nodded. His lowered gaze cast shadows with his eyelashes. His round nose, philtrum, and the lips below were adorably delicate.

Joonwon swallowed hard. As he got up to turn off the light, his younger brother grabbed him.

“It’s okay. Even with the light on… I like it with the light on. I want to see your face, hyung.”

“…….”

Joonwon was scared. With the light on, Joonyoung would see him. His face, aroused by his younger brother. His eyes would be bloodshot, his filthy lips panting hot breaths, maybe even looking like a beast.

Joonwon didn’t want his younger brother to see him unable to control his desires.

“Just leave it. Today, I want to see your face… I’m going to look at your face.”

“I’m embarrassed.”

He tried to defuse the tension with a joke, but Joonyoung clearly shook his head, insisting the light stay on.

With no choice, he turned his body toward Joonyoung.

“I didn’t know you were this bold.”

“I’m not scared.”

As Joonwon’s eyes kept avoiding his, Joonyoung’s hands held his cheeks, making him look at him.

If Joonyoung believed something was right, he rarely backed down. It wasn’t stubbornness; it was conviction.

“Loving someone you love… I want to know how good that feels.”

“…….”

The younger brother leaned in first, overlapping their lips. Ah, Joonwon clenched his fists tightly and closed his eyes.

Their lips parted, and his younger brother’s tongue slipped into his mouth. Trembling, he unclenched one fist, grabbed Joonyoung’s nape, and tilted his head.

“Hnng…!”

Their breaths grew ragged as their lips softly brushed and rubbed together. Tongues and lips mashed and stirred, delving deeper to lick the mucous membranes.

The hand holding his nape and stroking it lifted Joonyoung’s shirt. As soon as he pulled the shirt over his head, their lips met again, and they collapsed onto the bed together.

Pulling back from the wet, moving lips amid rapid breaths, Joonwon looked down at his younger brother’s face under the bright light where even the fine hairs were visible. It wasn’t just their breathing that had quickened; their pulses and heartbeats were racing too.

“Where’s the lube and condoms?”

Bringing his face close, Joonwon asked in a low voice. Though Joonyoung had boldly bought them himself, his eyes widened. The clear, open eyes looked up at him with a hint of hesitation.

“You said you bought them.”

“Yeah, I got the most expensive ones.”

“So where are they?”

The younger brother rolled his eyes to glance somewhere. Joonwon’s gaze followed. It was the side table.

He reached out and opened the drawer. A white plastic bag came into his hand. He pulled out the bag and spilled its contents onto the bed. He twisted open the lube cap with his mouth and tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth, placing them within reach.

Joonwon’s fingertips were trembling slightly. He pressed his lips against his younger brother’s wet lips, rubbing them, and his hands began to earnestly touch Joonyoung’s bare body.

The arms wrapping around his neck, the armpits, the sides and waist that were very ticklish, the buttocks plump with flesh.

Joonwon’s hands gripped the buttocks tightly and pulled them toward him. Their centers collided, sending a strong aftershock through their lower bodies and spreading throughout their entire bodies.

Their legs intertwined, and he pressed their clasped hands onto the bedding as if binding them. He overlapped their bodies, pressing down on his younger brother with considerable weight.

Even though he was only rubbing closely against his lower abdomen, Joonyoung’s breathing grew rough. Coincidentally, Joonyoung had almost no pubic hair. The act of rubbing himself against Joonyoung’s clean lower body made Joonwon even more unsettled. The feeling of violating something made him uncomfortable.

“Haa… hyung, your hair is prickly.”

“Should I shave it… ? If it hurts Joonyoung, I shouldn’t.”

“No way. I like it. I like that you have a lot of hair.”

Perhaps because Joonwon had what he lacked, Joonyoung even admired Joonwon’s body hair.

Without realizing it, Joonwon held both of Joonyoung’s wrists to keep him still and rubbed his lower body against him. Exhaling hot breaths, he stared intently at his younger brother’s face, who was shaking his head in confusion.

As his gaze meticulously observed the expression and subtle movements, Joonyoung turned his head, burying his flushed cheeks into the bedding.

“Stop, stop staring.”

“I keep wanting to look. I can’t help it. Should I not look?”

“Yeah, don’t look. Stop staring at me.”

“Haa, alright. I won’t look. I won’t do anything you don’t like.”

Joonwon whispered like a sigh and lowered his lips to nibble on his younger brother’s earlobe. As he chewed gently, Joonyoung shivered, his shoulders trembling. He wet the area around his ear and pressed his lips firmly against the pulsing neckline. He could feel the throbbing artery under his tongue.

Joonyoung’s lower body twitched slightly as if bouncing. Holding his younger brother’s upper body tightly, Joonwon reached for the lube.

He squeezed a generous amount of lube onto the palm wrapped around his back. Bringing his hand down, he wet the crevice between.

“Hnng… ugh, it’s cold.”

“Cold? Hmm?”

“Yeah, it’s weird, it’s cold there… it’s strange.”

The sensation of the trembling skin made Joonwon’s head spin.

Joonwon suddenly wanted to curse. To avoid swearing, he whispered affectionate words instead. Still, feeling like curses might slip out, he clenched his teeth. His tightly clenched jaw trembled.

The sensation in his hand felt like the pain of flesh being seared by a torture device.

“Still… Joonyoung, is it still cold?”

“No, no. Ugh, no, it’s not cold anymore. But it’s weird. Hyung, this is weird.”

After thoroughly wetting the area with lube and touching it with his fingertips, Joonyoung only made odd noises.

Looking down at the trembling lower body, Joonwon slowly pushed his middle finger into the opening.

“Ugh…”

He held his breath. Burying his face in his younger brother’s shoulder, he closed his eyes and explored inside with his finger. The inner mucous membrane was hot and tightly gripped his finger. His hardened organ poked at the inside of Joonyoung’s thigh.

Joonwon moved his finger as if penetrating. As he pushed into the lube-soaked interior, a disgustingly lewd sound echoed.

“Hnng, ugh… ugh, hyung, it’s weird, it’s… weird.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt, but, ugh, hnng…”

Through his hazy vision, he saw Joonyoung’s chest rising and falling rapidly. Joonwon lowered his head and pressed his lips to Joonyoung’s chest. He took the protruding flesh into his mouth and nibbled with his front teeth.

“Haa… aah, hyung, Joonwon hyung.”

It felt like his younger brother’s voice was coming from far away. He took the areola and nipple into his mouth and sucked.

His finger moved faster, unable to control its pace, digging deeper inside. There was no consideration or caution, only urgency.

“Aah, ugh! Haa, hyung, wait, just a second, aah…!”

“How is it? Joonyoung, how is it? I’m, hmm? Haa, I’m inside you right now. Is it okay? Hmm?”

He kept nibbling on the nipple and asked in a muffled voice.

“Ah, ah, ah…! Hyung, I think I’m gonna come. I, hyung, I’m gonna… ah, hnng…!”

As his thick finger recklessly probed below, Joonyoung’s body arched as if writhing, and the inner walls gripping his finger tightened noticeably.

At that moment, a milky fluid shot up to his chest. His untouched organ trembled, leaking precum.

Releasing the nipple wet with saliva, Joonwon licked the skin with his extended tongue. Joonyoung, chilled by the sensation, pushed his shoulders.

“Haa, haa… aah, stop, stop!”

“Haa… you’re clenching so hard right now. Damn, you’re holding onto my finger and not letting go. Can you feel it?”

He babbled incoherently, out of his mind, spilling vulgar words.

Another finger went in, probing inside. As he thrust, making squelching sounds, Joonyoung’s legs spread before him.

“Aah, ugh, hyung, hyung…!”

His chest heaved, and his head tilted back. His throat, swallowing breath and saliva, glistened white with sweat.

Joonwon, breathing heavily, grabbed a condom. He put it on his tingling organ and squeezed lube generously over it.

Spreading his younger brother’s legs, he brought his pulsing organ to the wet flesh. As the size, incomparable to his fingers, pressed against it, Joonyoung’s eyes widened in fear.

Meeting his younger brother’s eyes, Joonwon pushed his fully erect organ inside. It was tight and wouldn’t go in, but he forced it through. Taking his time, he pushed it in completely to the root.

He brought his lust-reddened face close to his younger brother, whose lips were parted, gasping as if he couldn’t breathe.

“Hnng… ugh!”

“Haa, Joonyoung. I’m, haa, inside you right now. I’m… I’m, ugh, I’m, damn, I’m inside you… ugh!”

Gripping tightly with both hands, he thrust his organ into the tightening interior, panting incoherently.

Joonyoung, his face pale, barely gasped, as if he couldn’t hear anything.

“I’m, right now… right now inside you, haa, shit, aaah, damn, ah…”

His hips, which had been holding still, soon couldn’t resist and began moving vigorously. Joonwon, breathing roughly like a madman, thrust so hard it made smacking sounds.

The wet sound of flesh colliding and moans akin to screams burst from Joonyoung’s mouth.

Joonwon had seen this scene before. In dreams, in his imagination, in his mind, he had always sinned against his younger brother like this.

“Aah, aah, haa, haak, aaah.”

Holding down his younger brother, who was pushing his chest with both hands as if trying to escape and crawling up the bed, Joonwon overlapped their lips, moving his hips while kissing the crying lips. Biting the tongue that had been exploring his mouth, he let out the breath he’d been holding.

“Ugh, Joonyoung, I’m, right now, haa, do you know what I’m doing? Hmm? I’m, haa, I’m, damn, to you… ugh.”

He couldn’t hear what he was muttering. It felt like his groin was being torn apart. The burning sensation enveloped his body, driving him wild.

“Inside, haa, ugh, I want to come inside. Joonyoung, hnng, is that okay? Hmm? Tell me. Tell me it’s okay. Let me come. I want to come.”

Please. I’m begging you. Please, please…

He kept asking, not listening to his younger brother’s cries and screams.

The obsession to come inside gripped him fiercely. Roaring like a beast unable to think of anything else, Joonwon thrust his organ into his younger brother. The concept of time had long vanished from his mind.

With the sound of wet collisions, Joonyoung’s hips jolted upward. He grabbed his younger brother’s legs, spread them, and lifted his upper body.

He saw the hole swallowing his organ. Joonwon was devouring his younger brother there.

An intense pleasure swept through his spine, making his limbs tremble. The lube and bodily fluids mixed, creating a musky smell.

Pumping his hips like a heartbeat, Joonwon panted in pained breaths.

Sweat seeped into the palms holding his younger brother. He couldn’t even think of caressing the pained Joonyoung. He had no composure. There was nothing in his mind.

“Aah, I’m gonna come. Joonyoung, haa, I’m gonna come. Inside, can I come inside? Hmm? Let me. Hmm? Ugh, ugh!”

He froze his frantically thrusting hips. Veins bulged on his forehead, and his eyes turned red with burst blood vessels.

“Haa, haa, haa…!”

With everything but his thick testicles shoved inside, Joonwon convulsed and ejaculated.

The sensation of releasing inside his younger brother stabbed through his brain like a knife.

Panting below, Joonwon slowly calmed his breathing. His sweat-soaked body was pressing down on his younger brother.

“…Joo, Joonyoung.”

He let go in shock. Joonyoung’s white skin was marked with red welts wherever his hands had touched. Blood trickled thinly from the corner of his lips, clenched to endure the pain.

“Ugh… it hurts, pull out, quick, hnng…”

Joonyoung’s voice was hoarse from crying. Tears streaming from his red eyes wet his ears and cheeks. Joonwon couldn’t pull out and just stared at his younger brother.

“It hurts, pull out, take it out, please. Hyung…!”

“…….”

For his younger brother’s requests, Joonwon would jump up even in his sleep to fetch the stars. But he didn’t want to pull out.

He wanted to stay like this, with his organ deep inside Joonyoung’s groin. He had to. It was the right thing. If he stopped, if he let go, he might die.

“Pull out, hyung, pull out. Stop, ugh, stop… stop.”

The more Joonyoung cried and pleaded to stop, the harder Joonwon’s organ became. The pain of being so erect and trapped somewhere was considerable for him too.

Reaching down to try pulling out, he grabbed the struggling arms and hesitated, then reluctantly pulled his hips back. The tightly lodged organ came out, the condom sagging with milky semen.

He peeled off the pungent condom and hurriedly pushed his raw flesh back into the flinching interior.

“Agh! Hyung…!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Joonyoung. No. I don’t want to pull out. Let me stay like this… please, hmm?”

The hot flesh tightly gripped Joonwon’s organ. The sensation with and without the condom was so different that Joonwon felt suffocated. It was like someone was strangling him with both hands. He’d expected it, but not this overwhelming sensation. He could die now with no regrets.

“Slowly… please, do it slowly.”

Joonwon kissed the cheeks and lips of his younger brother, who flinched as if unwilling, promising to go slowly.

Joonwon slowly rolled his hips. The joined parts rubbed with wet sounds.

As he inserted slowly, the face contorted in pain turned toward him, panting heavily.

“Hnng… ugh, haa, it’s weird, it feels weird…”

“Does it feel good? Hmm? Joonyoung, does it feel good? Tell me.”

“It’s good… it feels good. Haa, hyung…! Hnng…!”

The intense pleasure of inserting his organ into his younger brother’s lower body and the thrill of committing a sin kept driving Joonwon.

He felt like he would cry. Seeing his pained younger brother, he was horrified at himself, frantically writhing to connect as one by forcing his erect flesh inside, panting like a madman.

Yet he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t pause.

“Is it good? Haa, Joonyoung, Joonyoung, ugh, is it good? Please, please say it’s good. Please…”

“It’s good, it’s good… I love it, hyung… I love it. I love you.”

Joonwon collapsed onto Joonyoung, embracing his upper body and moving his lower abdomen.

Panting and sweating heavily, Joonwon ejaculated a second time. He released a part of himself inside Joonyoung.

He didn’t know how many more times he did it. Pushing into a space with no room, the semen inside spilled out. The thin mucus soaked the intricately joined flesh, making wet sounds.

Joonwon, inserting through the white night, fell asleep with himself still inside Joonyoung.

∞ ∞ ∞

Joonyoung didn’t wake up until past noon. It wasn’t just exhaustion; he slept as if his energy was completely drained. Groaning suddenly in his deep sleep, Joonwon stayed by his side, sitting on the bed, watching his condition.

A message notification sounded, and he picked up the phone. It wasn’t his. After a while, Joonwon picked up Joonyoung’s phone from under the bed.

He took his sleeping younger brother’s finger to unlock it with his fingerprint.

[Jju-jju, what’re you up to? I moved with my hyung today, near the university. When are you coming over? Did you get the car? What’d you buy?]

It seemed Joonyoung’s friend had just replied to a message sent yesterday.

Joonwon stared at the word “Jju-jju” for a long time.

He’d heard they were close. The closest in their class.

His name was Seokju, so they called him Jju, and he called Joonyoung Young-i, our Young-i, Young-young-i, or Gong-gong-i.

Joonwon found Jju and Young-i extremely irritating. Not just irritating—his heart raced, and his hands and feet trembled slightly. Hearing it in person was shocking, and seeing it was just as bad.

Jju was bragging about getting a car as a university admission gift. He said it’d be ready in a few days and offered to give Joonyoung a ride. Joonwon had sold his car for the deposit, and now this guy was trying to lure Joonyoung with a new car to go hang out.

The idea of a guy who’d barely gotten his license threatening his precious younger brother’s life was infuriating enough, but offering to let him ride along made Joonwon even angrier.

Joonwon exited the message and deleted all of them. He almost blocked the number but stopped. Joonyoung would obviously dislike that.

He didn’t want to seem controlling. There were plenty of ways to control without seeming to.

Joonwon, looking through his younger brother’s phone as if snooping, went to the photo gallery.

“…….”

The gallery was full of Joonwon’s photos. Opening the thumbnails, he saw various expressions of himself. Many were candid shots taken from behind.

Joonwon looked at his photos, then at his sleeping younger brother.

Anyone who saw this wouldn’t think it was normal.

Seeing them all together made it even clearer. A younger brother desiring his older brother wasn’t sane. But the desire Joonyoung showed wasn’t dirty. It wasn’t depraved.

Even though the obsession of persistently pursuing and wanting someone was evident, it didn’t feel abnormal.

He swiped through the photos and paused.

A photo from the graduation, taken by Ms. Yoon, appeared.

It was Joonyoung kissing his older brother’s cheek. Joonwon had wide, surprised eyes like a child, while Joonyoung wore a mischievous, love-filled smile, pressing his lips to his cheek.

To someone who didn’t know them, they might look like lovers, not brothers.

Joonwon stared at the photo for a long time.

It was a happy, joyful moment.

For the first time, his face didn’t look dirty.

As he stared, the screen, left on too long, went black.

A man’s face reflected on the dark screen.

“…….”

It was no longer the face of a loathsome person craving something filthy. It was the face of a man who looked very much in love.

“Ugh…”

Joonwon, staring at the screen, threw the phone down at his younger brother’s pained groan and hurriedly turned his gaze.

Joonyoung, his eyes twitching, slowly opened them.

“Joonyoung.”

“…….”

“Are you okay? Are you awake?”

Looking down at his younger brother with concern, Joonwon asked, flustered. His cautious hands, as if touching fragile glass, stroked Joonyoung’s cheeks, brushed his hair, and busily touched his ears. It wasn’t just worry; his hands moved frantically, as if satisfying a selfish desire, caressing various parts of his younger brother.

He touched the soft cheeks, rubbed the tender earlobes, brushed the swollen red eyes, and stroked the neckline… Joonyoung slowly grabbed his busy older brother’s hands, pressing them to stop.

“…It hurts.”

“Oh.”

Joonwon stopped moving, held by his younger brother’s clasped hands.

Joonyoung looked at him, blinking slowly as if regaining full consciousness.

“I’m hungry.”

“I got some porridge. I’ll heat it up. Wait a sec.”

Since they’d just moved, they didn’t have ingredients or proper tools to cook. Joonwon had rushed to the store as soon as he woke up, buying essentials in a hurry, but it still wasn’t enough.

“Then I’ll shower.”

“Can you get up?”

“…Well, it’s not like I can’t?”

As if recalling last night, Joonyoung mumbled, looking vaguely elsewhere instead of at him.

Joonwon couldn’t look directly at his younger brother either, staring only at the edge of the bed with his eyes lowered.

An awkward silence hung between them.

“You said you weren’t ready… but you acted like you’d been waiting for it.”

“…Was I too much like a beast?”

He felt Joonyoung’s gaze on his cheek. With his eyes lowered, Joonwon continued, his voice heavy with defeat.