LLU 12

Pioon spent the night in the room he was given as if he were dead, and then crept out of the house like a stray cat as soon as the sun rose. Junghan smiled as he gazed out the window at the figure hastily moving away as if fleeing.

If he had slept quietly in his room, I would have given him a ride. He figured he could play chauffeur a second time, having already done it once. He had already done the ridiculous deed of personally going to the obstetrics and gynecology clinic to pick up that mother and son, all because he had taken an interest in the kid.

In many ways, that kid was an exception. From the way he sparked his interest, to being the first person he didn’t feel the urge to ‘clean up.’

When he went down to the first floor, he heard signs of someone in the kitchen. Looking in, it seemed the servants were about to bring food to that woman. Junghan casually took the tray from them. Leaving behind the bewildered servant, he strode into the master bedroom without hesitation and opened the door.

The woman was alone. She lay there by herself like a docile doll, but with a slightly anxious face. He must have gone for a run. Choi Muhyun’s 30-year habit made no exceptions, even on a Sunday morning, and even when the woman carrying his child was lying there alone.

Seeing Junghan enter the room, the woman flinched in surprise and sat up.

“Mr. Junghan! Thank you. Making you wait on me like this…”

“I came because I wanted to.”

Junghan’s eyes curved into a gentle smile. He knew that when he made this face, people were drawn to him. It was the result of reading and observing people’s reactions countless times. It was a truly simple and effective method for instilling trust and favor in others.

The woman smiled awkwardly, her eyes blinking rapidly. She must be anxious. Junghan slowly let the smile on his lips fade and stared intently at her face.

Slowly, intently. He dissected the woman with a gaze that writhed and pulsed with life, like an insect crawling. The woman, not knowing what to do, averted her eyes, unable to meet his gaze for even a few seconds before looking down.

Beautiful, but weak. Junghan clicked his tongue inwardly. She was completely different from her son, who would meet his gaze with the expression of a cat with its fur on end, whether he smiled or dropped his expression.

‘Those don’t look like the eyes of a human child at all. It’s like a snake gave birth to that thing and called it its child!’

It was around the time Junghan was about ten years old, not long after Choi Muhyun had abandoned his ex-wife and brought a new woman into the house. Which woman’s mother was she again? An old woman he had only seen once or twice had suddenly barged in and caused a scene.

The woman, who was creating a loud disturbance, seemed to be of unsound mind. After screaming and throwing a fit at his father, she had said that very thing to a young Junghan, who happened to be standing next to him.

What did I do?

Junghan didn’t bother to say the words out loud. He simply observed the unfolding situation with great interest. It was a spectacle that had blossomed for the first time in a while amidst the tedious daily routine of endless studying.

The old woman creating a commotion, the anxious eyes of the employee who had rashly opened the door upon hearing she was the ex-wife’s mother, and his own father standing next to him, watching the situation with a frown of annoyance.

Choi Muhyun always tried to justify his debauchery to Junghan. He would say the only one he truly loved was his first wife, Junghan’s mother. He always packaged it as if he were struggling to forget his wife, who had passed away after growing weak from childbirth, and Junghan always found him ridiculous.

‘He changes women constantly, and again and again, treating people like that is why his kid is growing up this way!’

The old woman foamed at the mouth and pointed a finger at his father. Naturally, the old woman was kicked out. His father’s ex-wife, who had received a call and rushed over belatedly, supported the old woman who had been pushed out into the garden and disappeared.

‘What rotten luck.’

His father shrugged and went back into his room. He didn’t seem to have any shame about showing such a scene in front of a child. The employees quickly ran out and diligently began to clean up the overturned flowerpots and spilled teacups.

The shattered pieces went into the trash can, and the scattered items were returned to their places. By removing the people who had been creating a loud noise, the space regained its tranquility. As he quietly observed that proper scene, a young Junghan thought.

To be honest, that woman was usually as loud as that old woman, and it was grating.

So, getting rid of her was the right thing to do.

“…Mr. Junghan?”

The shallow reverie was quickly broken by the voice of the pregnant woman in front of him, calling out cautiously.

“Get some rest.”

“Yes, thank you. And… um.”

The woman hesitated, trying to speak. Still, she couldn’t properly meet his eyes. What was the age difference? Junghan scoffed as he estimated the gap between his age and the woman’s.

“Thank you… for being so fond of our Oon.”

The corner of his mouth twisted up slightly. This woman, just like her son, had a way of provoking sadism. Of course, the manifestation was very different.

“Hmm, what made you think so?”

At the gentle question, deliberately asked with a touch of malice, the woman became flustered as expected. “Uh, um, well…” After stammering out only meaningless sounds like these, the woman spoke in an intimidated voice.

“…Well… I’m sorry if I’m wrong. It’s just that, Chairman Choi said so too, so…”

“Haha, it was a joke.”

Junghan gave the woman a deep smile.

“Our Oon is quite cute. Just to my taste.”

Though he needs a little polishing. Instead of adding the unnecessary remark, Junghan gave a gentle smile. The woman’s face showed visible relief. As if unable to contain her happy feelings, she even committed the presumptuous act of abruptly reaching out and grabbing his hand.

“Thank you, Mr. Junghan. Our Oon is a little blunt, but… he’s a good kid. Even if he snaps because he doesn’t know any better, please embrace him with a generous heart, Mr. Junghan.”

“Haha, of course.”

Embrace him with a generous heart. He liked that part. Junghan slowly flipped the small hand holding his and placed it on top of his own palm. It was a hand that looked white and smooth, but in reality, could not completely hide the traces of a difficult life.

The smile vanished from the woman’s face. Her bewilderment was palpable. Junghan gripped the woman’s hand tightly as she stealthily tried to pull it away.

Where do you think you’re going, you insolent thing.

“……!”

But the moment the woman’s eyes widened, Junghan let go of the small hand without any lingering attachment.

“I thought your hand looked similar to Oon’s.”

“Ah… I, I see.”

The woman’s face turned beet red all the way to her ears and the base of her neck. The confusion filling her eyes was comical and amusing, but her son was a hundred times more entertaining.

Junghan slowly stood up from the bed.

“Well then, please eat.”

As he closed the door and left, Junghan thought of the woman’s son. The kid’s face from just last night, struggling under his grasp. The violent trembling of his body.

While pretending he wasn’t, the kid had been trembling. He was feeling fear and anger at the same time, yet was confused, not knowing how to accept and digest those emotions. He didn’t even know that his ignorant, imbecilic appearance was fanning the flames of a dark desire even more fiercely.

Junghan came to the kitchen and poured a glass of water. The dawn light entering through the large window passed through and shone on the glass.

He gazed at the glass he often used. The inside of the cup, where the sunlight had settled, glowed serenely, constructing a small world in a brief moment. That small scene was transparent and pure, to the point of being futile.

Soon, the cold water slid down his throat, passing quickly. After swallowing all the water, Junghan set the glass down without a second thought and left the house. The single world that had been held in the transparent glass vanished in an instant due to the predator.

9:50 PM, it was a busy time for cafe closing. Peace had finally come to the small cafe that had been bustling all evening. While the owner was settling the accounts, I worked diligently washing dishes and mopping the floor, and I started sweating even though it was winter.

“Good work.”

“Get home safely, Oon.”

My house was just one bus stop away, but the weather wasn’t too cold, so I walked with my hands in my pockets. It was a chance to organize my thoughts and cool my head, which was prone to headaches.

After exiting the dark alley, the main road quickly came into view. I walked on the sidewalk next to the speeding cars and looked up at the sky.

The day must be cloudy because the stars aren’t very visible. Seeing the white puff of breath from my mouth, I felt for the cigarette pack in my pocket. The way it crumpled limply at my touch told me I’d have to stop by my usual neighborhood supermarket.

Just then, my phone vibrated briefly.

Mom

⁝

xx Month xx Day

Since that incident, my mother was still staying at that house. It seemed Chairman Choi wasn’t letting my mother, who had been diagnosed with absolute bed rest, take a single step out of the house. And it seemed my mother was living comfortably, being cared for by him and the employees.

However, my mother felt uneasy about leaving me alone. She was sorry for not being able to take care of me, and sorry for making me sleep in that house alone.

My mother said I was welcome to stay at that mansion anytime, that Chairman Choi had sincerely suggested it, but I made up some excuse and declined. I told her that since I had to go to school and my part-time job until vacation started, it was more convenient to be at home.

About a month passed like that. During that time, I went to school, worked my part-time job, read books, and watched movies. Occasionally, I would bundle up and go for endless walks. I could only see Kim Junwoo from time to time, as he was in the middle of intensely preparing for his practical exam. I always stayed home alone.

Walking along the road at night, I thought about my completely changed daily life.

My mother’s remarriage, the news of her pregnancy, and the diagnosis of absolute bed rest after a sudden bout of bleeding.

All of these facts had hit me as suddenly as a disaster within a few months. And I wasn’t given any time to slowly digest them. Before I could fully accept the events that had occurred, I had to face and deal with a type of person I had never met before in my life.

Choi Junghan was superior to me in every way, beyond comparison. What he possessed, the position he enjoyed, his abilities, his looks, as well as his intimidating strength and physique.

I genuinely could not understand him. Why was he so wary of me and trying to drive me away? I couldn’t figure out the reason at all.

The influence that I, having suddenly appeared, would have on him would be infinitesimally small. Every time I went to that house, I thought of myself as a misplaced object.

An outsider who didn’t fit in with that family. A garnish-like existence who would be tacked on to the occasional gatherings held under the incredibly awkward pretext of ‘family.’

Even if Chairman Choi remarried my mother, Choi Junghan would be his only son. There was no way Choi Junghan wouldn’t know that unchanging fact.

Then why on earth. Why was he going to such lengths?

“Hoo…”

I gently closed my eyes.

I almost made the same mistake again.

I must not try to understand Choi Junghan. He was, from the very beginning, someone I could never interpret or figure out. He was just wearing a skin similar to other people’s; he was no different from a monster imitating human speech and mimicking human movements.

His appearance was magnificent, and there was no part of his every gesture that wasn’t tinged with elegance and restraint. But when we were alone, Choi Junghan transformed.

There was no other word to describe him but a monster. The fact that he wielded violence against me, a stranger, without a shred of guilt was the most prominent difference when compared to other people.

‘The woman’s son is afraid of the man she is remarrying’s son, so the remarriage ultimately fails.’

He had enough power to execute the simple and clear scenario he had written. Our last meeting starkly supported that fact. Since the day I nearly had my scalp torn off at that house, I had to completely revise my strategy regarding Choi Junghan.

No, I just gave up on trying to do anything with that person. Ploy’s like putting on a clumsy act or provoking and stimulating him didn’t work on him. On the contrary, I only suffered a counterattack.

Choi Junghan was not an opponent I could take lightly. There’s a reason for the old saying that it’s best to avoid a madman.

However, if there was one thing that weighed heavily on my mind, it was the fact that my mother and Choi Junghan were in the same house. Having succeeded in making me sick of him and driving me away, there was no way Choi Junghan would leave my mother alone…

Thinking of my mother, stuck in bed and constantly sending me messages saying she missed me, my heart sank endlessly. The resolve that I should never set foot in that mansion again and the thought that I should still visit periodically to check if my mother was safe endlessly clashed, creating turmoil in my chest.

Cars whizzed past me, making whooshing sounds. Amidst the muffled noise, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and shake off my complicated feelings. But no sound came from my parched throat. I just silently walked toward home.