HPK 27

When Kim Jungoh hesitated, murmuring, “Uh…,” Taejung pressed him.

“Are your ears clogged?”

“Ah, no, sir. I’ll do it right now.”

He grabbed his cell phone and quickly found ‘Moonsu hyung-nim’ in his contacts. He knew Taejung didn’t go back on his word, but this was a first, so he was extremely flustered. Without realizing it, he kept glancing at Wooseung.

“I, I don’t do second rounds.”

“Oh, is that so.”

Taejung rested his arm on the counter and tapped the underside of it with his foot. The voice that answered was dry and emotionless.

“Hyojun doesn’t normally go either, and second rounds aren’t allowed, but he went, so I just thought…”

“Hey. He went on his own two feet.”

Taejung turned only his head to the right.

“…What?”

“He followed Moonsu on his own two feet.”

He left on his own two feet? That can’t be. There’s no way that’s true…

“No. Hyojun wouldn’t do that—”

“What do you mean, ‘no’? When I said I’d give him five hundred thousand won, he happily linked arms with Moonsu and left.”

He had definitely said they should leave work together. That he’d grab his bag and come to the restroom. And even if he had left with Moonsu, he wasn’t the type of person to leave without a single message. No matter how embarrassed he was, he knew Wooseung would be waiting. On top of that, Wooseung was to him…

“But I heard it’s Moonsu’s first time with a guy’s ass. What’s your friend going to do.”

Taejung put on an exaggeratedly mournful face. However, the end of his sentence was trembling lightly with laughter.

“He’s going to be covered in blood.”

“…”

“Ah, or is it covered in shit?”

The only one who laughed at the uncomfortable, joke-like words was Kim Jungoh. He laughed awkwardly at Taejung’s words while holding the phone to his ear.

“Ah! Moonsu hyung-nim. It’s Jungoh.”

Just then, Kim Jungoh’s face brightened, as if Moonsu had answered the phone.

—What!

“Ah, hyung-nim. The thing is.”

—You son of a bitch, calling all of a sudden, heok! Hey, hey, hoo-euh…

Suddenly, explicit moans poured out from over the phone. Taejung let out a pfft and laughed. The feigned expression vanished completely, and what was left on his face was a pure smile.

“S-Sorry. It’s nothing much. Another player is coming up now…”

He wasn’t even finished saying that another player was coming up. A hand suddenly shot out and snatched the phone.

“…Huh?”

While Kim Jungoh froze in surprise, the fingers that snatched the phone frantically tapped the screen. The red circle signifying the end of the call was pressed, and the call was soon disconnected. At the same time, silence fell. The moans and the coarse curses were no longer heard.

“Ahaha!”

Taejung threw his head back and roared with laughter. Kim Jungoh was still frozen in the same position, with the phone held to his ear. He seemed unable to comprehend what had just happened.

“Hey. You can’t do it, can you.”

Taejung asked, rubbing his jaw below his ear with his palm. Even so, he was still chuckling, pfft, pfft.

“…”

Wooseung was dumbfounded, wondering what on earth he had just done. He had snatched Kim Jungoh’s phone and, not stopping there, had forcibly ended the call.

Kim Jungoh, Moonsu, and Taejung. Not a single one of them was below Wooseung in status. Here, Wooseung could never act as he pleased. No, he shouldn’t have.

Taejung spun around and leaned his back against the counter. He crossed his legs and lightly tapped the floor with the sole of his foot.

“You can drink for him, but you can’t offer your ass for him?”

“…”

“Right. You have to pick your moments to pretend to be nice.”

At his words, spoken as if he understood everything, a strong force went into Wooseung’s hand. The phone was squeezed and let out a creak sound.

“…I’ve never pretended to be nice.”

Wooseung handed the phone back to Kim Jungoh, who was still standing there with his mouth agape.

“Then why did you ignore me?”

“…”

“I’m telling you to go and sleep with Moonsu in his place. Nobody’s stopping you. Right, Jungoh?”

“What? Yes. That’s right. Nobody’s stopping you.”

Taejung stuck his hands in his pants pockets and observed Wooseung. He was extremely curious to see how he would react.

Picking up trash abandoned in the parking lot, worrying strangely that a phone would break, and drinking for someone else when he can’t even handle his own body.

“It’s not, pretending to be nice.”

“Then go offer your ass.”

The lips that repeatedly parted slightly and then closed were very interesting. Even the fact that in the end, no words could escape from between them.

“See. You can’t do it.”

Finally, Wooseung’s head dropped completely. At the end of his long nape, a round bone protruded. It looked like a smooth, shiny pebble.

♡

[But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, James 1:6]

The chapel was on the second floor. Wooseung climbed the stairs, reading each of the words lined up along the wall.

As he entered the chapel, where the doors were wide open, a bustling atmosphere greeted him. Before the 11 o’clock main service began, people were gathered in small groups, chatting. Wooseung took a seat at the very back, on the edge of a wooden pew to make it easy to leave in the middle. A few gazes landed on him, but thankfully, they didn’t linger long and quickly moved away. Wooseung bowed his head as if in prayer and stared only at his clasped hands.

A short while later, the 11 o’clock main service began.

“And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food…”

The pastor’s sermon echoed through the spacious chapel via the microphone. His rough voice was quite hoarse at the ends, making it somewhat uncomfortable to listen to, but on the other hand, because of that, it boasted an even deeper appeal.

“I’ve always spoken about the importance of gratitude. Everyone, we. It’s not for any other reason. We cannot be grateful because we cannot be satisfied…”

Wooseung’s posture while listening to the sermon was upright, but the fingers resting on his thighs had lost all their strength and were limp.

He often attended Sunday service. After getting off work from the club, he would take a short nap and go to church. The church he went to was different each time; sometimes he would go to the same church for three consecutive weeks, but he never exceeded three times.

“I’m telling you to throw that away. Gratitude, you see. Within my heart, God’s abundant…”

If someone were to ask if he believed in God, Wooseung would shake his head with an uncomfortable expression. The reason he set foot in this place was not because he was a devout believer. It was just…

‘Right. You have to pick your moments to pretend to be nice.’

“We must always live with gratitude in our hearts.”

Wooseung gazed at the pastor’s hair, which was beginning to turn gray here and there, and sank into thought.

For some reason, the events of early this morning felt distant, like looking at a landscape through a hazy blur of smoke.

‘If you make Moonsu cum, you get 100,000 won.’

That voice had been as monotonous as someone reciting everyday phrases like, ‘Did you eat?’ or ‘I’ll buy you a meal.’ It was different from the other men, from whom vulgar interest and cheap excitement oozed. Taejung didn’t seem to be anticipating anything particularly fun, nor did he seem like he was dying of curiosity about the outcome. It was just about that much interest, just like how he had easily backed down, saying, “Fine, then,” when Wooseung said he wouldn’t smoke.

Only after everyone except Wooseung had sucked the men’s penises did the pile of bills on the table run out. The players stuffed their pants pockets and shoes full of 50,000 won bills and left the room. All that fell into Wooseung’s hands was his table charge of 120,000 won.

If the day had ended there, his heart wouldn’t be this troubled.

‘Hyojun.’

Hyojun’s nape and shirt collar were damp, as if he had just washed his face. His hair, slicked all the way back, was still messy. When his eyes met Wooseung’s, he awkwardly avoided his gaze.

‘The president told me to give you this.’

Wooseung handed him 100,000 won. Hyojun, who had been about to pass by him, stopped in his tracks. As he looked down at the bills with a doubtful face, Wooseung extended his hand as if to tell him to take it.

‘Kim Jungoh was asking where you went, then he told me to give this to you… I think the president gave it.’

‘Ha, shit. What a relief…’

Hyojun brought the bills, held in both hands, to his lips. A low sigh spilled out over them. The sigh contained a complex mix of emotions that couldn’t be easily comforted.

‘Ah, honestly, it’s still fucking embarrassing to see you right now, hyung.’

‘…’

‘But… I don’t know what this is, but I feel a bit better now that I’ve gotten the money. I’m so fucking pathetic, aren’t I?’

‘No. The president was the one who acted like trash…’

Wooseung slowly shook his head. He awkwardly rubbed his damp nape and, seeing that Wooseung was wearing his bag, asked.

‘Are you leaving work?’

‘Yeah. I have plans tomorrow.’

‘Then let’s go together. I’ll just go to the waiting room, change, and come back.’

‘I’ll be in the restroom, so come there.’

‘Okay.’

Hyojun staggered and disappeared down the hallway where the waiting room was located. In his hand were the bills he had received from Wooseung. Clenched tightly and crumpled.

Naturally, that money wasn’t from Taejung. Wooseung had given Hyojun 100,000 won, nearly his entire table charge. He didn’t particularly feel like it was a waste. He was sure of it. But…

‘Why can you drink for him, but can’t offer your ass for him?’

The moment he heard those words, the space between his ribs grew stiff, as if a needle had been lodged there. Wooseung believed he had offered what comfort he could. Lying that the president gave it and handing over his own money was his own way of comforting him.

But was that really what Hyojun wanted?

“Ah.”

At the sound he had uttered unconsciously, the believer sitting next to him glanced over. Wooseung avoided the gaze and bowed his head deeply. He rubbed his right jaw with his hand. His molars ached from clenching his jaw so tightly.

“Today’s conclusion is Philippians 4:6. Do not be anxious about anything…”

The sermon, which had been proceeding passionately, gradually drew to a close. Wooseung looked around before carefully rising from his seat.

When he didn’t know any better, he used to stay until the very end, but after being caught a few times by people from the new believers’ department, he started leaving the chapel before the benediction.

As he came down the stairs, he could smell food from not too far away. He had skipped breakfast because he only had a short nap, and on top of that, his tooth ached. Wooseung pressed down on his stomach, which was belatedly crying out in hunger, and left the church.