ASD 2

Soft snowflakes fall from the gray sky. A fingertip carefully brushes one off where it has gently landed on the bridge of my nose, and it turns to water and drips away.

Gawon hunched over, rubbing his arms repeatedly with his hands to ward off the brutal, encroaching cold. A chilly wind seeped through the gap in his sneakers, the toes of which were completely worn through. To hide the hole that seemed to have gotten a little bigger than yesterday, he surreptitiously tucked the tip of that foot behind his other ankle.

“Ugh, it’s fucking cold. How is it snowing in March instead of flowers blooming?”

“Flowers bloom in April, you idiot.”

“Ah, whatever.”

As expected of a bunch of boys’ high school kids. The late spring cold that sharply pierced through their tracksuits couldn’t suppress the heat of the boys, who were constantly joking around and snickering.

The gym teacher, who had shouted “Quiet!” at the fooling-around kids, turned his head toward a tall figure running from a distance. Naturally, the students’ gazes also landed there.

Was there a kid like that at this school? Gawon’s gaze lingered on him.

Ah. A beat later, he remembered the homeroom teacher saying a transfer student would be coming. And that he would be arriving in time for the second-period gym class due to some circumstances.

His strides toward them were uninhibited. Despite being a transfer student and arriving late alone, which drew a lot of attention, he showed no signs of being flustered at all.

He was tall enough to stand out even among the boys’ high school kids. His torso, which made up his frame, was thick, like that of a rigorously trained athlete. Yet, he looked agile rather than clumsy. The way he loped over looked just like a jaguar.

“Hey, you’re late for your first class?”

“I’m sorry!”

The voice that came out was low and resonant. What was etched on his face, which held a faint smile, was composure and confidence.

Handsome eyes, long and without double eyelids; an expression brimming with playfulness; a deep dimple that formed when he grinned broadly; a voice both low and mischievous.

Even the kids who had been fooling around distractedly naturally stopped what they were doing. What imbued their sharp gazes scanning the transfer student and their murmuring voices was clear. It was curiosity and admiration for a classmate with overwhelming superiority, and a little bit of envy.

The guy, who was trotting over with a face that didn’t look sorry at all, only slightly picked up his pace after being chided with, “Hey punk, aren’t you gonna hurry up?”

“You b**t**d, you’ve got a smooth, handsome face.”

“Thanks.”

When the guy bowed his head and replied playfully, laughter erupted from here and there. When the gym teacher lightly tapped his arm with the stick he had slung over his shoulder, he crumpled his large body and made a pained expression.

The sound of laughter grew louder at his gesture of feigning pain, just like a large dog that had caused trouble. It was laughter mixed with affection, not ridicule or scorn. Eventually, even the gym teacher cracked a smile. Just like that, he naturally captivated the class atmosphere.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“It’s Gijun!”

“Huh?”

The gym teacher, with a puzzled expression, personally checked the name tag on his tracksuit. Then, he chuckled and shouted, gesturing with his chin at the kid.

“Yeah, that’s right. Hey you, Gijun.”

“Gijun!”

he shouted with a mischievous smile. At the resonant voice that captivated all the males at once, the students, who had been standing in a disorderly fashion, instantly focused on him. They spread out in an orderly formation with him as the Gijun.

You, who stood there exuding the most distinct presence under the fluttering snowflakes.

At the moment you shouted like that, I didn’t know.

That you would soon become the Gijun of my world.

“…Haa…”

Gawon closed his eyes deeply for a moment, then opened them.

He had expected this. The moment he found out he was in the same class as the guy who had cruelly and persistently bullied him throughout his first year, Gawon had already given up on a peaceful school life. Still, he hadn’t thought it would start this soon.

There was no time to despair for long. The fifth period would be starting soon. Gawon calmly cleaned out the inside of his locker. He brought a rag and wiped up the spoiled milk that had burst open, emitting a foul smell, and took out all the cigarette b**ts and trash that were shamelessly inside.

When he looked down at his soaked textbooks, he had to clench his teeth and hold back his indignation. He had just gotten them not too long ago. His eyes grew hot, but he held it in with the thought that he’d rather drop dead than show those b**t**ds his tears.

Just then, the classroom doorway became noisy.

“Because of what that b**t**d did earlier… isn’t that fucking funny?”

“Huh? Hey, hey, I finally see him.”

“Heh. He’s been cleaning his a** off, huh?”

Even without turning around, he knew who the guys entering the classroom were. It was Heo Yeonggyu’s group, the very culprits who had terrorized his locker by stuffing all sorts of filth into it, and who had been relentlessly bullying him since the first year.

Heo Yeonggyu, with his bear-like build and family connections to back him up, acted as if he had nothing to fear in the world. He was a guy whose hobby was to stake his life on the pecking order battles in the classroom and cruelly bully kids who were considered weak. Despite his loud and showy behavior, his family was so well-off that even the full-fledged delinquents couldn’t mess with him carelessly.

Heo Yeonggyu’s group plopped down haphazardly on the sparsely empty desks at the back of the classroom. It was right near Gawon’s locker.

Thud, thud. Heo Yeonggyu’s foot, with his legs crossed like a delinquent, kept unpleasantly touching his back and b**t, but Gawon paid it no mind and hunched over slightly to avoid the kicks. The long-standing bullying was now so tiresome it had gone beyond nauseating.

“Hey, while you’re cleaning, clean this up too.”

Heo Yeonggyu, smirking, threw the drink can he was holding at Gawon. It seemed he had thrown it while he was still drinking, as the sports drink inside spilled out and messily stained his uniform. The attention of the classmates, which had been focused with curiosity, now turned toward Gawon’s face, tinged with excitement.

“……”

Gawon, who had been cleaning the inside of his locker with his mouth shut tight, clenched his fists. His chest churned with anger. But that, too, was brief; he suppressed his anger with practiced ease. Reacting to every little thing would only make things more tiring for himself.

From middle school until now, his second year of high school, Gawon had tried every response he could think of. Not only telling the teachers, but he had even reported it to the police.

But the result was always the same. If anything, the situation only worsened, as if to mock Gawon, who had neither possessions nor a supportive family.

His requests to open a school violence committee were ignored, and even when he filed a complaint directly with the Office of Education, it was handled ambiguously, like mixing alcohol with water. After finding out that Heo Yeonggyu’s father was a district councilman, Gawon completely resigned himself.

If he couldn’t avoid the bullying that was being mercilessly inflicted on him like pouring rain, it was more comfortable to just accept that fact. For Gawon, who had been running around here and there clinging to futile hope, there was only one choice he could make.

Graduation. It was to press on toward the exit that seemed an eternity away. It was to block his eyes and ears like a person who could neither see nor hear anything, and just endure like that.

‘Why doesn’t he drop out? If it were me, I couldn’t live like that.’

‘I know, right. It’s not like you need a degree if you’re gonna do the same kind of work as your mom, right?’

Despite the option of taking the GED, and despite the snickering voices mocking him, there was only one reason he attended school as if his life depended on it.

Because of his mother, who was involved in the criminal underworld, Gawon had come to know the terrors of that place. And his mother wanted Gawon to quit his studies early and start earning money. She had even unabashedly told him to carry fruit or something at the establishment where she worked. Just for the sole reason that it paid a lot.

That was the reason he had to attend school with all his might. Gawon knew all too well. That school was the last fence that would allow him to belong to the world of light. And that the moment he stopped struggling, he would immediately sink into a dark, viscous swamp.

Seeing Gawon cleaning his locker with a blank expression, showing no reaction, Heo Yeonggyu’s group got up from their seats one by one.

“Hey, are you ignoring me? Are you ignoring me when someone is talking to you?”

Heo Yeonggyu kicked him hard. A dull pain flared up in his calf. Gawon bit his lip to suppress a groan. This time, he annoyingly pressed Gawon’s temple, hard.

“Huh? I asked if you’re ignoring me. Huh? You should answer.”

“…Get your hand off me.”

“Wow, f**k. Did you hear what this kid said?”

Heo Yeonggyu turned his head toward the kids standing next to him and snickered. Having formed a new group for the new school year and new semester, his voice was tinged with more bravado than usual.

“Look at him glaring. So fucking scary, huh?”

“Move.”

Gawon checked the clock hanging at the back of the classroom. Ten minutes left until the start of the fifth period. Once the teacher came, he would be able to escape this s**tty moment, at least for now.

First, he had to clean up the trash and also wipe his uniform. He tried to push past Heo Yeonggyu and the idiots standing next to him, but there was no way they would let him pass easily.

“Hey, Sunny.”

Gawon’s face, which had remained impassive no matter what was said, instantly hardened at that moment.

“We’re in the same class, we should all get along. Huh?”

At Heo Yeonggyu’s words, spoken with a wide grin, the guy standing next to him made a puzzled expression.

“Sunny? What’s that?”

“Hey, you still don’t know? His mom is a prosti…”

Heo Yeonggyu’s words were brutally cut off right there. Gawon’s small, clenched fist had cut through the air in an instant.

He knew well that the rumor would spread anyway. No, perhaps everyone already knew. Heo Yeonggyu’s group had been spreading it relentlessly since the first year.

Still, his impulse overcame his reason. He knew nothing would change just because it was a new school year, but still, he didn’t want to hear Heo Yeonggyu blabbering on about his mother at the top of his lungs in front of everyone right at the start of the semester.

Heo Yeonggyu, who had taken a solid hit, cupped his jaw and stared blankly at Gawon. It was one of the few times Gawon had resisted to this extent, so his bewilderment was greater than the pain.

However, the impact a small, white fist could leave wasn’t significant. In the first place, Gawon had no skill or experience in crushing someone.

Heo Yeonggyu, who had snorted, straightened his tilted head as if in disbelief. Hah. With a vile smile, he cracked his knuckles in a threatening gesture.

“This son of a b**ch… you threw the first punch, you know that?”

Heo Yeonggyu strode forward and grabbed Gawon by the collar, hoisting him up. There was no time to back away or defend himself. Gawon stared straight ahead and ground his teeth.

“Let go of me.”

“A worthless piece of trash, f**k…”

Thwack! A flash of white light exploded before his eyes. Gawon, who had been hit in the face, squeezed his eyes shut and flinched. He wasn’t even scared of this level of violence, being so used to it he was sick of it. He just wished for this moment to pass quickly.

An agitated Heo Yeonggyu spewed curses. He yelled about what else he was supposed to call a Sunny but a Sunny, and grabbed Gawon’s collar again, hard.

Shaking helplessly in the strong grip, Gawon looked at the other kids in the classroom with a gaze full of loathing. The eyes watching the commotion with interest glittered with curiosity and amusement.

A cynical sneer escaped him faintly. This b**t**d who was beating him while insulting him with filthy words, and those b**t**ds who were just sitting there enjoying the show. They were all the same trash.

“F**k, what are you staring into space for. It’s annoying. Are you not looking at me? Won’t you look at me straight in the eyes?”

Heo Yeonggyu’s eyes widened as he spat saliva from his mouth. His large palm was raised into the air once again.

“Hey. It’s noisy.”

A low voice from the front of the classroom instantly quelled the commotion.