ASD 17

Leaning against the wall, Gijun tilted his head back. A sigh escaped from deep within him.

He had almost been caught following him. He never imagined that Gawon, who had been running while looking straight ahead, would turn back.

What in the world was all this about?

As if it wasn’t enough that he had tailed Yoon Gawon like a dog, he was now hiding behind an alley wall like a rat. It was the first time he’d ever acted so pathetically and wretchedly, and this version of himself felt incredibly unfamiliar, but that wasn’t the problem right now.

Watching Yoon Gawon’s back as he ran away as if fleeing for his life felt strange. Why was he running so desperately like that? The scene where Gawon slapped him and swatted his hand away, looking genuinely repulsed, was still vivid in his mind.

Gijun desperately put his brain to work. He reviewed the trivial conversations they’d shared in bits and pieces throughout the day, and the atmosphere that had flowed between him and Yoon Gawon. Where had it gone wrong? What mistake had he made?

There had been no signs of anything wrong from the morning through lunchtime. If Gawon had known about the note in the locker, he wouldn’t have acted as if nothing was wrong. Even when they were eating lunch together, he was his usual self.

Then, at the school gate, Gawon had suddenly exploded in anger. Looking incredibly hurt, he had said, ‘Gijun, you’re the worst b**t**d of them all.’

…If it was something that would make him that angry.

A bad premonition flashed through his mind. That it was somehow related to the note he saw in the locker today.

He didn’t know about anything else, but it couldn’t be that. As if he had suddenly realized something, Gijun urgently thrust his hand into his pocket. He took out and examined the notes he had kept in his pocket instead of carelessly throwing away, in order to preserve them as evidence.

There were definitely three of them.

…One is missing.

‘D**mit, s**t…’

Gijun let out a groan, roughly rubbing his face with his palm.

He could quickly deduce the situation. That he had idiotically dropped a note from his pocket, and Yoon Gawon had seen it and been hurt.

Considering the possibility of other kids finding it, it was a relief that Yoon Gawon’s name wasn’t written directly on it. But Yoon Gawon himself would know that the content of the note was about him.

Then did Yoon Gawon misunderstand and think he was the one who wrote the note? Just the thought of it made his vision go blank.

‘…No.’

But Gijun soon shook his head. For that to be the case, Gawon had acted as if he had been hurt too suddenly. If he had been suspicious of him, he wouldn’t have quietly come all the way to the school gate with him.

That led to the conclusion that the problem was the conversation they had while standing at the school gate. But no matter how much he thought about it, he hadn’t brought up any topic that would have made Yoon Gawon angry. All Gijun had said was to coax him into coming over to his house and talk about his cat.

…Come to think of it, Yoon Gawon was….

‘…Sunny?’

Gijun’s eyes narrowed sharply. Yes, it was definitely that word. The moment he heard the word Sunny, Gawon had made a face as if he’d heard something he shouldn’t have. And after that, he had erupted in fury like an active volcano.

“F**k… no way.”

His muttering voice was sharp and bewildered. An ominous premonition flashed. Gijun took out his phone with a hand that had begun to tremble slightly. But who could he ask, and how could he confirm this?

Ha, s**t…. He ran his hands through his hair roughly several times. He opened his messaging app and scrolled through his contact list. Looking over the names of the guys he hung out with in his class, Gijun picked one of them and made a call.

Ring ring riiing, the call connected before even a single ring could finish.

—Whoa, s**t. You scared me. What’s up? Is this really you, Gijun? What’s the occasion, you calling me?

The dazed voice of the receiver, Kim Wonjae, was full of delight. Gijun cut to the chase and asked.

“Is anyone with you right now?”

—With me? …No? I’m alone, on my way to the academy. But why, all of a sudden?

“There’s something I need to ask. Do you know Heo Jaegu?”

—Heo Jaegu? …You mean Heo Yeonggyu?

“Yeah, that big, loud, fucking b**t**d.”

—Uh…? Uh huh…. You really hate him, huh.

Since Gijun had never openly shown his like or dislike for anyone before, Kim Wonjae replied with a puzzled tone. But that was only for a moment, as he soon offered his scathing agreement.

—I mean, that b**t**d is a fucking show-off, right? Just ’cause he has some connections and is close with the older kids who fool around. He was pulling that same s**t last year too, but there aren’t really any kids who can take him down….

“Last year.”

Cutting off Kim Wonjae’s rambling voice with a single phrase, Gijun paused for a moment. Yoon Gawon, wearing a first-year name tag. The thought of a slightly fresher, slightly smaller Yoon Gawon being tormented by that fucking b**t**d made his temples grow hot.

“…Last year, that b**t**d. Did he go around bullying Yoon Gawon?”

—Yoon Gawon? Out of nowhere?

His reaction was like, why is that name coming up now? After pausing for a moment with a blank look, Kim Wonjae answered readily.

—Yeah, he bullied him like h**l. He was basically just Heo Yeonggyu’s punching bag. Anyway, that kid’s amazing too, huh? Seeing him stick it out without dropping out.

“…How did he bully him.”

His clenched fist tightened. He could clearly feel his patience reaching its limit, but Gijun tried to remain calm.

It was safer to lead him to the answer by guiding him little by little, rather than asking about Yoon Gawon’s mother first. He wasn’t even sure if Kim Wonjae knew about it, and he didn’t want to stir things up needlessly.

—Just, you know. Stuff like that. Always shoving him, scribbling on his locker or desk. The s**t he does is vile, but like, the level isn’t high enough to definitively open a school violence committee hearing, you know? It was just ambiguously around that level.

“……”

—For a normal kid, it would be enough to open a hearing, but honestly, all that stuff is a family fight, right? Can you even compare Yoon Gawon’s family and Heo Yeonggyu’s family…. First of all, Heo Yeonggyu’s family’s connections are no joke, and Yoon Gawon’s family is… well, as you know, a bit like that, right? His mom. And he said he doesn’t have a father either.

“…Yoon Gawon’s mom… what about her.”

Gijun bit his lip hard. Even as he asked, he hoped Wonjae would say he didn’t know. It was a contradictory feeling, but it was true. He hoped the rumor hadn’t spread that far. But Kim Wonjae, with utter nonchalance, gave the answer Gijun didn’t want.

—You didn’t know? His mom’s a p**stitute.

“……”

—That’s why Heo Yeonggyu goes around making a fuss about it. His father and fellow assemblymen secretly go to get entertained and s**t, and it turns out Yoon Gawon’s mom was a regular of theirs or something.

F**k…. Gijun couldn’t hold back a sigh. What kind of grotesque coincidence was that? How could that be? Just imagining it made his breath catch in his throat.

—Heo Yeonggyu always calls Yoon Gawon ‘Sunny, Sunny,’ and pulls that s**t, right? That’s his mom’s, you know. What do you call it? A pseudonym? A stage name? …Anyway, the name she uses at that establishment.

The assumption he had hoped was wrong turned out to be reality. Gijun squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them roughly with his hand. Unspoken curses boiled chaotically inside him. Saying he understood, he dryly ended the call.

“Ha… what the h**l is this…”

It was a situation where Yoon Gawon could have easily misunderstood. The note from Gijun’s pocket, and the name of his cat, Sunny, popping up out of nowhere today of all days. It was a shockingly nasty coincidence.

More than anything, he was worried about Yoon Gawon’s deeply wounded heart. He couldn’t forget Yoon Gawon’s expression, frozen as if in shock, the moment he had cheerfully uttered the cat’s name, knowing nothing. He had simply thought he’d seen it wrong, but he should have held on to him then and asked until the end. Asked why he was suddenly acting that way.

Sigh after sigh escaped him. Gijun chewed on a curse and kicked the low stone wall a couple of times. He pressed his hands firmly against his throbbing temples. But, regretting it after the fact was useless.

First, he had to clear up the misunderstanding. Gijun took out his phone with an impatient hand and called Yoon Gawon. They had exchanged small texts every day, but this was the first time he had called.

—The customer you are calling is unavailable…

The first call ended so futilely. He didn’t give up and called again, but the result was the same.

[Gawon]

[Please pick up the phone]

[I’m sorry for upsetting you. But really… it’s a misunderstanding]

[I absolutely absolutely did not mean it like that.]

[It was my cat’s name. Really]

He wanted to talk to him face-to-face, but clearing up the misunderstanding before he was completely blocked came first. Gijun sent several messages, his leg trembling anxiously, but the ‘read’ receipt didn’t appear.

He desperately searched through his photo album and messenger history. He was surrounded by people, but few of them knew his cat’s name. In the first place, he wasn’t the type to go around talking about such trivial things, and he had brought almost no one to his house.

While frantically searching his phone, Gijun finally managed to find a single messenger record with Sunny’s name in it. He was a bit bothered by the fact that it was a text from a girl, but this wasn’t the time to be picky about such things.

Choi Yirim
[Your cat’s name is Sunny?? That’s so cute!]

Choi Yirim
[Can I come see her sometime too? haha]

[Some other time lol]

He took a screenshot of the chat and sent it to Yoon Gawon. It was a girl who had gone to the same middle school. She had approached him proactively, asking for his number first, but because Gijun had responded lukewarmly, they had only exchanged a few messages before stopping.

The ‘read’ receipt still didn’t appear. Anxiously waiting for a message from Gawon, Gijun tried calling again, but this time, he didn’t pick up until it went to voicemail. Letting out a troubled sigh, Gijun ended the call and sent one last message.

[Can you come out and talk? I’ll wait. I’m in front of your house right now.]

[I’m sorry for following you without permission]

Putting his phone in his pants pocket, Gijun leaned against the wall again. He stared intently at the small, old door that Yoon Gawon had opened and gone through earlier, and waited indefinitely.

He raised a hand and gently rubbed the spot where he’d been hit. For some reason, rather than the pain left by the boy, the memory of his face as he slapped him with trembling hands was etched more painfully in his heart.