ASD 14

A sharp breath caught in his throat like a thorn. Gijun’s eyes froze, hardening. The innocent joy and fresh anticipation he had felt while imagining Gawon munching on the pastry scattered from his mind in an instant.

[Going to pick your mom tonight lol]

[Why bother studying? You’re just going to end up in a brothel like your mom anyway]

[Yeah~ go sell your body too]

Sharp hostility and low-quality ridicule. Three slips of paper, filled only with the intent to humiliate, were spread out inside the locker as if for show.

Gijun’s gaze, which had always been steady and unwavering, trembled slightly. He bit his lip gently and exhaled the breath he had been holding.

Before he could make a rational judgment, his hand shot out automatically. With a rough gesture, Gijun crumpled all the notes and shoved them into his uniform pocket. So that not a single piece of paper was left, so that not a single humiliating word could reach Yoon Gawon.

“Did you ditch cram school yesterday?”

“Ah, s**t. I wanted to, but that old geezer was waiting at the school gate…”

Just then, noisy voices pierced Gijun’s ears. Gijun, taking a shaky breath, slowly turned his head. At the moment his eyes met Heo Yeonggyu’s, who was just entering through the doorway.

“……”

Rage flared up like a flame. Like a fire spreading across a dry field, the hostility swelled in an instant.

Power surged into his clenched fist. His gaze, fixed on the target, boiled coldly. His feet moved forward on their own, stride by stride. As he approached, his eyes fixed on the guy as if to kill him, Heo Yeonggyu unknowingly stumbled backward. His face was bewildered by the inexplicable animosity directed at him.

“…Gijun?”

But in the next moment, all of Gijun’s actions stopped. What caught his trembling body, which he couldn’t control, was Gawon’s voice, which had become familiar to his ears.

A voice, soft and mellow like a sweetly ripened persimmon, called his name. It was Yoon Gawon, who rarely ever called out to Gijun first.

“…Wha…t’s going on?”

The kid came closer and very slightly, cautiously, touched Gijun’s arm. Gawon’s voice trembled faintly. Having keenly read the emotion akin to murderous intent in Gijun’s eyes, Gawon was clearly anxious.

The blue-hot rage still churned in his chest. But in his mind, Gijun’s reason slowly shook its head.

If he hit Heo Yeonggyu now… Yoon Gawon could get into trouble. A chaotic scene would unfold, teachers would come running, and then everyone would see and hear all those vulgar words. In front of the entire class, no less.

He was a kid who was already very conscious of what others thought. Would Yoon Gawon, who acted as if something terrible would happen if he was friendly with him in front of the other kids, really want such a situation…

“…It’s nothing. Nothing at all. I was just wondering when you’d show up… I was about to go look for you.”

Gijun forced the corners of his mouth up. Grinning, he took the pastry and milk out of the plastic bag hanging from his wrist and handed them over.

“You didn’t eat breakfast, right? Here.”

“…Thanks.”

Yoon Gawon said in a small voice, bowing his head deeply. After glancing anxiously toward Heo Yeonggyu, he meekly took the pastry and milk and quickly headed to his seat.

It was the moment Heo Yeonggyu was about to pass by Gijun with an incredulous look on his face. Gijun took a large step forward and intentionally squared his shoulders. Heo Yeonggyu, who collided squarely with Gijun, staggered and stumbled a couple of steps.

“Ah, you fuc…”

Heo Yeonggyu, unable to hold it in, stopped mid-curse. Gijun’s downward-cast eyes caught his gaze like a trap.

“……”

The sharp gaze pulled the air taut. It was a raw emotion that couldn’t even be compared to their previous staring contest. The chilling edge held a clear warning.

Gijun did not yield the close distance, where their noses might touch if they were not careful. He pressed Heo Yeonggyu, pushing forward with his broad and solidly built upper body. Gijun brought his lips close to the ear of the intimidated Heo Yeonggyu, who was looking up at him, and whispered in a low voice.

“The notes in Yoon Gawon’s locker. You wrote them.”

Heo Yeonggyu couldn’t answer and swallowed dryly. Flicker. His eyes darted about aimlessly. A cold sweat began to soak his back.

“I’m going to kill you. You son of a b**ch.”

The warning was concise but intense. A gaze that crushed its opponent without mercy. In the face of the arrogant presence of a male who had completely asserted his dominance, Heo Yeonggyu trembled, unable to even breathe loudly.

After his short warning, Gijun pulled back without a second thought. Then, he sauntered over to Yoon Gawon, who was sitting at his desk calmly taking out a book, and sat in front of him. As if nothing had happened, he smiled foolishly and personally opened the milk carton, put a straw in it, and handed it to him.

“Hurry up and eat. You must be hungry.”

“I can do it myself.”

Gawon said, as if grumbling, and took the chocolate milk from Gijun’s hand. As if burdened by Gijun, who was staring with sparkling eyes, he quickly lowered his gaze and put the straw to his lips.

Then, as if he had sipped wrong, a couple of drops spilled from the straw and landed on Gawon’s knee. Gawon quickly reached for the tissues on his desk, but Gijun was a beat faster. Gijun swiftly pulled out a tissue and personally dabbed Gawon’s knee, wiping up the milk.

“I know, I know. I know our Gawon can do it well.”

“…Don’t tease me.”

A drop had splattered on his chin too, so he tried to wipe it, but was immediately stopped. Gawon snatched the tissue from Gijun’s hand and, while glaring at him coyly, quickly wiped his chin and lips. Seeing him so embarrassed made him grin foolishly like an idiot.

“Stop laughing and go to your seat.”

“I’ll go after I watch you eat your pastry.”

“Forget it and just go. The others… are watching.”

He leaned in to whisper the last words so only Gijun could hear. Even though he was clearly being pushed away, Gijun just beamed. Because the feeling of Yoon Gawon whispering in his ear was so good. He wondered if he’d become a pervert… but he couldn’t help what felt good.

“Go, quickly.”

“Alriiight. You’re really trying to kick me out.”

Gijun, letting his eyebrows droop and feigning hurt, reluctantly got up from his seat. Even so, his gaze remained on Gawon’s hands until the very end. Only after seeing the white, slender hands tearing open the pastry bag did he head to his own seat.

The sly smile he had on his face just a moment ago was gone, replaced by a cool, expressionless face. He had laughed and joked as usual in case Yoon Gawon noticed, but inside, he was a mess of conflicting emotions.

Have you been enduring this all by yourself?

The hatred directed at Yoon Gawon was sharp as a knife blade, and merciless as a downpour. Even for him, looking at it made it hard to breathe, as if a part of his chest was blocked. How must that kid have felt, all alone?

He had said they were in the same class since first year. That means he’s been bullied like this for over a year already. Lately, probably because he’s been hanging around me, that b**t**d doesn’t seem to be hitting or bothering Yoon Gawon, but the violence I witnessed at the beginning of the semester was quite severe.

At that time, it was nothing more and nothing less than an uncomfortable and unpleasant scene. But recalling that moment again, Gijun realized that a completely new emotion had taken root within him.

‘I’m sure you’ll do fine on your own… but don’t get into fights and stuff. The Chairman is gearing up.’

Manager Hwang’s face, smiling bitterly as he said that, flashed through his mind.

‘You’ve become just like the gangsters you hated so much, haven’t you, Jun? After acting all high and mighty. Huh?’

His father’s face too, smiling crookedly and blowing pungent cigar smoke in his face.

And yet, even though his dreams and future were on the line, even though he knew his own situation all too well… if something like that were to happen again right in front of his eyes. If Yoon Gawon were to be insulted again.

He didn’t have the confidence to endure it then.

“Hah…”

A long sigh escaped from deep within his gut. With a troubled expression, Gijun laid his head down on his desk.

The dirty words he had seen earlier floated in his vision. No matter how hard he squeezed his eyelids shut, no matter how deeply he breathed, they wouldn’t fade. Gijun’s chest was still stiff with anger. The unpleasant tremor that had spread through his whole body with his heartbeat just wouldn’t subside easily.

So Gawon’s mother… was that kind of person.

Gijun quietly closed his eyes and recalled the women he had seen in this world. The women who were treated like commodities for a few pennies.

When other kids were going to piano lessons or taekwondo, Gijun grew up being led around by the hands of his father’s subordinates, the so-called ‘uncles’. The uncles were not moral enough to watch their words and actions in front of the young Gijun, who was like family, so Gijun grew up seeing all the filthy underbellies of the world. He thought that was just how the world was.

They were there. The women who wore clothes so short their skin was clearly visible and clung to the uncles, smiling with their eyes as if they knew no shame.

To Gijun, the uncles were all good people, but not to the women. They hit them carelessly, treated them carelessly. They treated them like tissues to be used and thrown away.

Pretty as flowers and weak as candlelight, with rough and vulgar speech but many tears and slender frames. Gijun couldn’t understand why men, including the uncles, treated such women that way. Every time he saw them, for some reason, he felt concerned and sorry for them.

As Gijun’s eyelids slowly opened, his eyes, deepened with sorrow, were revealed.

Yoon Gawon, you grew up on the same kind of bottom as me.

…So that’s why you have that look in your eyes.